I was the one who loved you with passion more than you imagine, more than you could ever fathom. A love we shared that I never did see the reality perhaps I was blinded with the ideal of you and my fantasies. And when you hold me tightly and I intertwined my hands with thee, the feeling was between constantly longing for  the possibilities and asking to be free from the skepticism.

You told me those three words, those three words that should have felt like home to me yet I see the uncertainty between your eyes and realized those words weren't meant for me. I know you tried but failed to see the possibility of having an 'us'. You decided to let me go because you don't want us to keep on running to each other and holding on to something that wasn't even real.

But if you ask me if I have regrets in loving you, I would honestly tell you I didn't regret it all because somehow, you needed nothing to draw my eyes because you precisely are you and I chose to love you without wanting it in return. I love you straightforwardly, and I have always been.

you are
the cold December breeze
on a warm April summer.

you are
the random, surprise present
on an ordinary, uneventful day.

you are
the risen moon even if the sun
is still there, in broad daylight.

what i'm trying to say is that
you are unexpected, unforeseen.
you caught me off guard,
but you make me happy anyway.

You and I are
the written words on a book's back cover,
the two-minute movie trailer,
the first sip from a cup of earl grey.

We’re a beginning,

a preview of what might happen,

of what could possibly occur
if the stars ever align for us.


But for now, I’m satisfied with

coincidental blurs of sojourns,
occasional tastes of your lips,
with hopes that perchance we shall meet again.

forever looming
clouding our hearts and our minds
the shadow of doubt

there is
a           mess
about her,

fluttering
towards  open

    space.


writhing

below pale
skin,

refusing to sit

so structurally,
so secured

in flesh.


wildly
           bending
and      swelling,


becoming

the
           savage


she so calmly
swears

isn’t there.











*-MJS