His hands were the one I thought ruled the world.
His eyes were the ones I thought saw it all.
His heart was the heart that won every war
And passion was his only -weapon - used.

His voice was the one I heard at night.
His warmth was the warmth that spread through my body and
Showed me
What love really
felt like.

What love really felt like?
I asked all the time.  
And his eyes were the ones that
Answered.
And his hands were the ones that
Made it
really
For me.  

That’s what it seemed to be

You see,
For me,
He was all I’d need.

For me, he was the only thing my eyes would
See.

For me,
his hands were enough
And his warmth was my coat
And his arms were my home
And his love was the boat
That carried
Me,
to shore.

And for me…
It was only for me.

Because for him,
I wasn’t enough.
And his warmth was just warmth,
It was never true love.
But then again,
How can I say what true love is,
Because maybe
it was
to him.

Because maybe love is the
Heart of more than one
Woman.
Maybe love is the
Passion of more than one
Lover.
Maybe love was never what I had
Thought
And love
Was only wrong
To me.

But to me,
That’s not love.

And to me,
That’s not caring.

And to me,
That is,
Nothing more than an –
Insecure man to afraid to,
Curl his body around mine to,
Pose the question  
As he turns his body
Into that doubtful
Question mark
That leaves him open to pain.

To me,
That
Is love.

Curling yourself around the heart
you want,
Around the one that
You choose
To have you
In your most
Vulnerable state
And to see you, as you
Ask the hardest question
Because,
What
Is
love?

I meant it when I said you'd break my heart.
It's already chipping and fraying.
How could it not when you know it's already so?
How could it not when the fray began to unravel before you even tied the last knot?

I meant it when I said I've outgrown home.
My bed feels small, the stars don't shine like they do
Far away from here,
Where no one knows my name.

And I can't help but think that ending us is only
The beginning of me.
It's the start of cutting my ties to anything
Serious and real here.

I promise cutting you loose isn't going to hurt
More than a pin *****.
I am not the one to rip your heart out;
I'll just bruise it slightly.

How could we get started when the end was in sight?
Why did we think it wouldn't hurt?
Why does my bed feel small?
Why do the stars not shine?

You're all I have left here.
I'm done looking for someone to kiss me beneath the stars.
I'm done wanting someone to love me so badly it hurts.
It hurts knowing you won't.

You're all that's really keeping me around.
I'd be gone tomorrow if I could.
I'd slip out my back door
And sleep on the plane as I fly away.

Why does my bed feel small?
Why does my heart yearn for cities?
I realized a guy would never make me feel infinite,
But letting myself go out on my own would.

I used to believe love would fill me up,
That it would pour over my edges onto the floor.
I used to think a commitment and lips on mine
Would somehow make me forget what freedom tastes like.

Freedom tastes nothing like your lips.
It feels like cold city air coming out of them.
It tastes like blood in my mouth
Because I had a sample of freedom and now I want more.

I'm here for now;
This is my home.
But you cant fill me up the way freedom would.
You can't be that for me.

Home is where my heart is.
It is not with you.
I forgot it in a city where no one knows my name.
I forgot it when I realized I didn't need you to say my name anymore

My bed feels small.
Your lips don't taste like freedom.
The stars don't shine as much
Because I'm ready to give them a run for their money.

I know I have to be patient,
Because once I get it
I’ll see it a thousand times

-A fellow friend

Crafting up affection only meant for you,
Pouring it into your hands to only see it
Spill over the sides,
Through the cracks in your fingers like sand.

Pouring my time and energy
Into your hands to watch it
Drop as you uncup your hands
To check your phone, to change the channel.

Pouring a waterfall of kisses
Down your skin
To have you kiss me so lightly
That I don't know if it even happened.

I'm here pouring myself into you,
Pouring out how I feel and
You're letting it all overflow
Without notice that it's pooling around your feet.