I still remember all the days
we spent together,
soaked in sunshine haze.
Amongst carefully hidden secrets,
we made promises of rings.
But, promises, like hearts,
are easily broken things.

No matter how far
or long we're apart,
I'll always bear the stain
of you on my heart.

All it takes
Is a short plane ride
And now I'm gone
On the other side
Of the world

Away from you,
Away from my favorite chair,
Away from all the memories we were going to make
And the future we had planned together

Now I'm gone from my home,
I'm on the other side
Of the world,
and I'm alone

And maybe you forgot about me,
Maybe you forgot how it was always us or we.
Not one or another,
Together forever

And I miss you, I do
But maybe this is good,
and being independent will help me grow,
And maybe I won't come back.


(a.f.c)

Like smoke through a crowded room,
She seeps between the cracks of life.
Dipping, ducking, dodging them all,
Passing freely to the end of the hall.

Squeezing herself around strangers,
Stroking mammary against others.
Her feet planted in front of the bar,
Hand raised to protest, "she's a star!"

Suddenly she clasps onto the edge,
Gripping with weak force to protest.
"Shots" she calls, never gains a reply,
"Shots over here" not a single sigh.

A quick view of the crowd behind her,
In shock of the horror that surronds.
The hideous approaching themselves,
Must she care little for their health.

The lights flickering to her heart beat,
Like thrillers which build with tempo.
Gasping, what lies created this hole,
Leaving her stripped of all she knows.

The hands swinging by with haste,
She stares out pleading for attention.
Nothing but blank gazes of her body,
Searching for a better man to serve.

Night grips at my soul

Ebony-clad hand at my throat

Vice in the heart gripping

Sanity in my mind slipping

Propane in my veins thumping

Blood dripping

Anger pumping.

Sadness making me a drunk thing,
Falling through mind's stink

Better think quick
Find a sober relief!

No pretty picture as I slip to the floor. . .

Mad disarray
Grip at the floor.
Mental decay
One hand shutting the door.

Night grips at my soul
Swallow me whole -
Down
Down
Down the rabbit hole.

An ebony-clad hand ripping up memories
Like an overturned desk,
Like an incurable disease.

Pray for release
From the maggots that feast;

Beasts on the mind clots of me.

Now give peace!

Night perpetuating my unease,
Sadness high

Eyes turned to the moon
Tears dry

Scenery dead with gloom
I can't cry

Scenery graveyard's black and white

I'll survive.

Though night grips my soul
While I slip
Into the rabbit hole.

It doesn't take a near-death experience for you to realize that you need to live and you need to do it now.

You need to go find what you want, and go get it.

You need to love who you love and tell them, whenever you think about how much you love them.

You need to appreciate the trees and clouds and your car and your parents and your shoes and all of the little things in your life.

You need to be scared sometimes. You need to be on edge and go out of your comfort zone.

You need to love who you are, most importantly take care of yourself. You need to love you.

You need to wake up and understand that you are afforded the privilege to take in air and walk around and be alive and make an impact, even if it's just your exhale that helps keep a tree alive.

You need to know that life is so precious and it's not cliché or romantic. It's the ******* truth and I can't scream about it enough.

I hope to God you don't need death, and not even literal death, to stare you in the eyes for you to realize that someday you'll be dead and only so many people will grieve and mourn and then they'll move on too.

This isn't about challenging death to a stare off. It's about not even needing to see it to know what it means to live. It's not about being fearless and brave.

This is about how I was almost in a car accident and I wasn't. I got lucky.

I couldn't tell you the last time I told my grandma I love her. I hadn't talked to my brothers in 3 days. My best friends would have last heard from me talking about concerts and books. My parents would have only known that I'd gotten on the road to come home from a text I sent. My boyfriend wouldn't have know that I'd bought him a gift from my trip. My ex boyfriend wouldn't have know that I still care about his general well-being though I'll never forget what he said about me. My dance teacher wouldn't have know how I felt about her cryptic comments. So much left unsaid and maybe it would have remained so if I hadn't almost been in a collision on a fast freeway on a Sunday night on my way home from a weekend away.

People die. They leave. They change. Life keeps going.

So don't wait for the car accident, for the heart break, for the illness or misfortune or misunderstanding or accidents or general unawareness to get you. Don't walk around with everything bottled up.

Tell people why you love them, appreciate the trees, take chances, make sure you're happy with who you are, wake up knowing you're afforded an opportunity to live and live large.

I hope to God it doesn't take too bright of head lights and screeching tires to know that life can be gone in seconds. I hope this poem is enough.