She lays there a pregnant woman
the future a burden
kicking from the inside
    begging for its time
        pleading for fruition

hush now
                     I lullaby
you will come just like I came and my dad came and my grandfather came

                                   loud and after two minutes

she lays there a pregnant woman
and I swear
                      I can feel the future kicking
I am coming it echoes
...and so it was
    ...and so it did

Fear
fell into
my lap like
raindrops without the splash

But when I stand
the onslaught I
adopted is
gone

If I fall from the highest peak of the mountains nearby,
Will you remember me in five years?
Or will I flee from your mind,
Only to return when I'm mentioned,
If I'm ever mentioned again?

If I disappeared for awhile,
Cut all ties and communication,
Never contact you or anyone else again...

Will you worry for me?
Will you wonder where I've been,
Where I'm going,
If I'm alive?

Will you come running for me?
Will you care to, anyway?

If I told you I was nothing, I was no one,
Would you try to convince me otherwise?
If I told you that I hated myself,
Hated who I was and who I am,
Would you agree?

And if I bared my soul to you, would you run and hide?

I would.

But I doubt if you'd ever come running for me.

My mind swims when I see you
As I say "hi"
All intelligible thought leaves my mind
To only leave behind
Stick figure drawings of me and you
I mean that figuratively for given enough time
I would paint you a masterpiece
But this drawing was all I could muster for the sheer surprise
Of seeing you before my eyes
I try to regain myself and maintain my "suave" facade
Yet I find myself looking more like an awkward giraffe
I continue to jumble my words like a frustrating jigsaw puzzle
Also I'm pretty sure that my last sentence was in pig-Latin
I sprinkle in incorrect quotes from obscure 80's movies
And you still look at me with that unfazed look
A third party looking at my performance may have thought they were watching some sort of comedy routine and a poor one at that
I try to close my mouth to stop this mess
Yet my brain doesn't spare me such pity
I continue till I am sure that I have buried any chance of ever knowing you
Yet when I look up, I see a smile spread across your face