all that i want and all that i truly need
is to be reawakened
for things to be the way they once were
i try hard as **** to not dwell on the past
it's such a bright place that i don't want to leave,
but i should because it missed its chance to grow with me
it has faded and become lazy,
only showing itself in dim flickers that hold the heat of a single match
when it used to be a steady glow that surrounded me always
i need you to help it catch up to me
bring back your light, your tenderness and laughter
because i've grown so dark and hardened
to the point where i am contained inside a thick shell
i used to be able to break out and shake off the pieces easily,
but layers keep accumulating
and i feel cold as a stone in the bed of a river
only something as forceful as a chisel and hammer could free me,
but that's not enough
only something as warm as the way things were could melt me
but most of all, i need to know that you need this too
i've been dying to reach you

constantly torn between overflowing and swallowing,
sharing and keeping it to myself, for myself
if i let it ooze, will anyone be there to mop it up?
and even if they did, would they continue absorbing it
or simply wring themselves out?
i don't want to be forgotten
i don't want to be ridiculed
i want to be understood

if i admire you from a distance, i am content,
but only content and nothing more
from over here, you can't call me your own
and you'll never be mine if it's up to me
i am in a safe place far from you, yet still within reach
and i know it won't last forever,
but right now, it feels so sweet
when this glass wall shatters, it can fall one of two ways
if it falls towards you, the shards will rip into your flesh
and if it falls away, i know you'll dig me out of its mess
there is a continuous ache inside of me,
but it's still too soon to know if you hold the key
i guess i'll just wait patiently
and hope you have the same capacity

is love just a game? it appears to be so..
for some people, they seem to just know
it feels like a special club of some sort
some date for love and others date for sport
how long is too long?
is a year too short?
and will there be a sign?
because i feel like i've missed it
i know what love is, so why am i a misfit?