all these lines i've filled with you
don't feel so empty anymore

you make it hard to think,

you make it hard to mumble,
to speak.

you make me weak,
breathless.

i don't know what to say,
what to do.

i feel so hopeless,
i feel so numb,
but i like it.

i don't think you understand how much you mean to me,
how much any bit of abandonment tears me apart,
or how every word you say makes my mind race to catch up to my heart beat.

you don't know
how much blood i would shed
to fit your standards.

I've been beating myself up over you,

I've been wanting to make you smile,

to impress you and make you mine.

but I don't feel good enough.

I feel worthless,
scared,
and alone.

but you're always there.

you make me feel sick

maybe it's the sorrow,
maybe it's the jealousy,
maybe it's the way you sway,
or the way you look away,

but something about your everything drives me insane.

the way you used to look at me made my heart swell,
it made me want to dance,
and write poetry all day long.

the way you avoid my gaze now drives me insane.
it makes me feel worthless and like I'm letting you control me,
it makes me feel like I can't impress you,
like you're just a brick wall that's slightly cracked,
but I like the cracks.

I like how each of them form your smile,
or your stress lines.
how they emphasize your chestnut eyes, and bleached tips.

but that smile doesn't work for me anymore.
that smile isn't directed towards me either,
and I don't think it ever will be again.

Poetry is about what is said
And what is implied

Implying is known for its subtle
Body gestures or vague sentences

Syntax and diction often control
The reader's persepctive

but
how can I control what other's think

Is it colorful word choice
Or WHAT WORDS STAND OUT

Am I accurate in assuming that
With a simple
pause

and repeat of word
I can cause someone to think otherwise?

Is it crazy that I control
the beat
in time
with a
meter

My dear I seem to have you under a spell
Can I tell you something

I'm not falling for you
I am in fact

Floating
Or for a better word

Afloat with you
Enjoying the water

And maybe
Someday
at some point
In some time

I will be ****** in
Drowned in your bliss
Penetrated by your words
Enraptured by your touch

Poetry is for mad people
With nothing better to do than to scrawl out their words with a pen nearby or a ***** keyboard that sounds more atrocious than the screaming of a fish

Poetry is the only way I can say my feelings
and if it's confusing

I'm sorry
I'm also confused

Maybe your love won't be drowning
and for once

It will feel like flying

I find it very strange
how we are all made
from the same elements
formed out of stardust
shaped bones covered in skin
so how come
some girls are pretty

And I'm not