there is something waiting,
prowling
and
slightly hopeless within me.

i seek to find it
so i can slowly
destroy
it.

Little blue pill rock me to sleep
Give me the gift that the last few nights have robbed me of
My eye lids close down over my eyes as if they are embedded with embers
Burning pools
Sleep **** me

my parents drove, and took me away
from school
my mother bore heavy words on her chest,
weighing her down with every wheezing breath she took.
my step-father had something a little vacant in his eye,
barely there but i noticed.

they sat me down and spoke
small, soft, strong words to me
and then

your

grandfather

has

cancer

i sat still, unmoving,
"if it spreads to his lungs, he will have two more
months
to live."

slipping, slipping like mudslides in a rainy season,
air in my throat was stagnant
bones
weren't holding my body properly, what was happening to my
skeletal system?
dripping like
cold rain.

then, i crashed.
speeding, so fast down a freeway,
sliding down the highway,
slippery ice under
and here was the crash.

wet anger tore into my mothers shoulders
as i clenched them
i
screamed  
why do such horrible things
happen to such
kind people

and my mother said
i dont know
with tears of her
own.

we’re hipster lovers with our
baggy sweaters and tortoise-rimmed
glasses.
your choice in music is too cool,
i gobble up literature like oreo milkshakes.
we’re hipster lovers
with our admiring Blake,
your multi-colored jeans, my eyeliner
thick and sharp.
you’re the hipster boy with unruly hair,
and cool as a cucumber temper.
i’m the hipster girl cool with too much sadness and
a fetish with Plath.
we make an awkward, cute team, you and i.

i’ll borrow your drug impacted jumper,
if you keep reading me zen poetry,
and we can dawdle inside indie
coffee shops while we hold
hands and sip
slowly.

I want silence
7 minutes
Without you in my head
5 minutes
Where the bustle of this so called life is muted
And the next 23 seconds
To just breathe without feeling so much shame

I spend an ungodly amount of time
Washing away your memory
My last shower lasted
49 minutes, 37 seconds
I can still smell gin and your musky cologne
Sometimes I feel clean...almost whole
Today I feel filthy, stained with past violence

Someone said that memories eventually fade
Slowing bleeding away into nothing

They lied

© 2013- 2014 Peach

why the hell does a naked body primarily represent some ****** nature?
a bare body has no ******* thing to do with ***. it is the beauty of freedom. of the lack of care it takes to be one with yourself. it is a bare canvas, ready to be painted upon by a lover, a friend, it is your life,
and every action you do paints something upon that beautiful bare canvas. a body is not meant to be hid, or be shameful of.
for, if you cannot live in your own skin,
how can you ******* live at all?

i remember all summer whenever i saw you
i couldn't help my mind wander,
lost in forests of thoughts like
what your skin would feel like with my breath
creating steam on it,
cooing soft words under it.

i remember when we smoked cigarettes by the creek,
cool water slapping our feet
like
angry mothers.
i wanted to take off your clothing
right then and there and latch onto you,
drown you in the angry waters of my desire.

i remember the first time
i touched you,
it was our skin lit up in green light,
and your mouth was filled with tobacco
and your skin whispered
as the park bench creaked
below us.
my lips were swollen
and slightly red
a whole hour after.

i like when you get angry,
and the emotions run across your face like a
faucet, dripping water.

if that's the case,
i want to be soaked.
shower me,
and use your mouth.

all i've been thinking about
since dawn is
will you have grown your hair? if you did, would
you let me run my fingers through it, as you
lay your warm face on my pulsing stomach,
like you sometimes do?
when i come back, will you still have that
small bit of scruff like chopped down trees,
with the trunks still attached
on the dark soil?
will you still hold my waist
moving me up and down like the rhythm of your breath,
rising in your chest like bread?

i'll feed my lips to yours,
you can eat them whole.
i want you to bathe me,
and devour me
all at the same time.