Loving you was
the most
exquisite form
of self
destruction

but I did it
I did it anyway
I wanted to reach
and touch
the flame
to bite
the fruit
to see
to hurt
and I wanted you to fix it

in order to make it home safely,
i need to reach the end of this hallway.

in order for me to move forward,
i need to reach the end of this hallway.

in order for me to become a better person,
i need to reach the end of this hallway.

in order for me to understand myself,
i need to reach the end of this hallway.

in order for me to do just about anything, really,
i need to reach the end of this hallway.

but i never do.
in fact, the most i've ever managed
is just a few steps
before i freeze in my tracks, unable to keep going.

it confused me at first,
but like anything else in life,
all i had to do was connect the dots
to realize why i always get stuck there.

if only you'd move.
if only you wouldn't take residence
at the end of this hallway,
staring at me quietly from the opposite side.
if only you'd turn around,
even if just for a moment,
so that i might dash forth before you look at me again,
as if it were a game of "red light, green light."

but you don't.

you never move.
you never turn around.
you simply observe me from afar,
waiting for the day where i'll be able to move
forward
on my own
even in your presence.

sorry to say, but
i'm not quite sure when
or if
that day will ever come.

Love, hate, life, and death?
In seventeen syllables?
Give me a minute.