Who would have thought that when I was sent from heaven with such a hue on my skin it would create an uproar of rage and start a river of blood
Who could have fantomed the chains and the beatings that would still be associated with the hue of this skin
Who knew that the hue of this skin, the smooth darkness that I see within the mirror would suddenly be an automatic 'X' on my back.
So I lay here confused because heaven should have told me what comes with the hue of this skin.

I wake to the sounds of birds.and I can't find it beautiful.
I watch as the sun streams in.and I can't find it beautiful.
Life hustles around me and I can't find even the smell of roses beautiful.
Someone comes in,their smile fixed in place.they tell me good news.Should I find this beautiful?and yet no matter how hard I try,things that once excited me as a child only make me realise there is no positive without a negative.
And so to me,nothing is beautiful.

I was lucky enough to capture the sun in my hands
But as it's light seeped through my fingers

Only then did they complain it was too bright
Because I held it
But I refused to let it go
So they beat me

Until my sun kissed skin was a map of bruises
That led to the sun still in my hands

The untitled are my dreams
They lay there without ambition to cover their cold skins

The untitled are my joys
They await bravery to explore them

The untitled are my passions
They sit in a cave away from the world
Without sunlight to bring them forward

The untitled is me
For i am both afraid and hopeless
Yet I still find a way to exist

Till moons stop shinning
And suns stop rising
Till rivers stop flowing
And lakes stop going
Till rocks start dancing
And butterflies start singing
Till birds start rapping
And mice start shouting
Till roses stop growing
And fireflies stop glowing
Till the earth stops spinning
And my hearts stops beating
That's when I will stop loving
**YOU

Till I father you,
Just let those nights abuse you
Just let those winds cut you

Till I father you,
Just let those wounds hang up to dry
Just break your heart and silently die

Till I father you,
Just let those men abuse you
Just let those women belittle you

Till I father you,
Just know when I break your wings it is for your own good
Just know when my screams tear at your flesh it is for your own good

Till I fatther you,
Just know I am never here to listen
Just know you were forced upon me

Fatigue never got in the way of a man and good things

To be wed is a beautiful thing
Heart bursting with the butterflies that have grown since you met your true love
Eyes filled with so much joy and magic that it feels as though you may just be living in a film, a fairytale
Everything is spinning so fast, yet at the same time it feels as though everything is turning ever so slowly so you can enjoy each second of every moment.

And in those moments you realise you are truly to be wed.
To be tied to someone till eternity and beyond
To be bound heart by heart and soul by soul to another individual that has become your life.
You realise all else will fall hoplessely away like nonentities and all that will then be left will be this person you are to carry with you forever
To be wed is a beautiful thing and it is an experience all who go into are nervous about yet endlessly happy of the notion

You're like toffee,
The sweetness so irresistible
but you're going to hurt yourself at some point

My poetry has found a way to **** itself

They want me
They want my skin, dark as chocolate to melt on their tongue
They want to ******* sweetness over and over
Yet they do not want to know the history of my cocoa
Nor of how it got this sweet after years of being labelled "bitter woman"
And when I speak of that history I suddenly become less wanted
Less sweet
I return to the "bitter woman" always complaining they say
So they want me to accept their compliments
Answer when they call me "chocolate queen"
But never fully claim the title "queen"
For my chocolate although sweet is only good for a few moments as though I am an addicts dream and all I am is a fix
They want the story of my cocoa to remain untold
The story of how I was whipped beaten and almost broken
The story of how the sun scorched my bare back and the mud swallowed my tired feet
The story of how despite it all my cocoa still thrived and produced wonderlust fruit

They do not want to hear such a story, yet they lick their lips in anticipation of my fruit
My cocoa still tells its story despite this and there are those waiting with patient ears

The truth is everyone is gonna hurt you,you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for

No matter how unconditional your love for someone is,
Conditions need to be applied once that love starts hurting you

If one is never fully dressed without a smile
Then I must be naked all the time

I showed you my scars yet you hid yours

If she carries the weight of her world and yours on her back
Do no stab her there too
Because not only will her world fall but yours will crash down all the same

There is rain
But it's coming from my eyes
It's a downpour

My darling,
I am here to tell you not to waste your time
searching for the woman you want to be in the wrong men
Because you'll lose every bit of the woman you are
every time you climb their beds
and give them the loving they never intend on returning

He was wild and feral
But in love was I

With his golden hair and glistening eyes

His sharp teeth and claws feared me not

But his untamed heart did

These streets ain't safe
These ******* looking at me
Like I'm some kind of bait

My melanin
Apparently intimidating
So confused
But so used to the ruse
These men, women and in between, no definitions
They call them sins
If I ain't looking like milk
Hows that funny?
Trying to make jokes about my melanin and honey

And don't apologise darling
For taking your time to choose
For wanting to know what *** feels like
But wanting to know what making love feels like more

One tree does not make a forest
Neither does one grain of sand make a desert

If love isn't tended to
If it isn't even remembered for the longest of times
Yet it still finds a way to survive
Then it is all you will ever need

My darling,
Do not wait for someone to dance with
When there is music in your bones

The stars burn brightly
as bright as I once did
now this is just mockery

I'm losing the fight with my sanity

Everyone has different stars
It is easy to get so blinded by another's
That you can't see your own

If only they didn't leave me here alone
To catch their last breaths in my lungs
And taste them like they were still here

A writer lives two lives
One on earth
And the other on pages

When your heart is beating
Your brain is retreating
for when you are in love
There is no sense above

In a world that seems to harbour more bad than good
The word 'trust' seems to have left
It seems to have never existed at all
But with a pen
A camera
And whatever else I can find
I will reclaim it
I will find it
Nestle it in my palms and whisper to it
"It is okay"
And I will share it
With those with broken hearts
Those with lost hopes
I will share it with everyone

Feeding off air
Living off nothing

I stay awake through the night
Chipping at my nails
The blood around reminds me to ask
"Why do you love me?"
The half moon lingering on my skin yet not masking the scars and marks

I told you i didnt like being vulnerable
and you said no one does
and perhaps that is true
because no one likes exposing their wounds to someone
without knowing if they would pour salt in or not
and instead wash the wounds and bandage them

However much you washed my wounds tho
My head still tells me you WANT to pour salt in them and when i think like that...

I end up wishing i never met you

Go the extra mile for yourself my dear
For you are worth every step

As those arms wrap around my waist
and I see.nebulars and galaxies
I feel complete
and nothing can compare to the astronomically ruckus of.joy erupting from my belly
I feel like universies are born from my fingertips
and possibiliteis are born from my lips
I feel like I AM life
all that is..

A girl that cried wolf
While her blood was the acid eating away at her soul
The acid that turned her as cold as the snow under carriages and covering leaves

Pain is immortal
not I

She was made of pixie dust
And sang the tune of neverland

Oh how sweet was she?
To entice me with her wings

They sparkled under the moons light
And I was but a red headed boy that fell for her magic

Darling,
I know you are scared to **** your garden
Because you are afraid it will look too bare
But those pretty flowers you crave need space to grow
So even if it takes you a lifetime
Pull the weeds
Disturb the earth
Plant new seeds

Sometimes the word 'peace' goes
And you are not its home
But one day it will get weary from being on the road
And it will return to you

I've always wanted to be happy, I mean everyone wants to be happy
No likes the festering sadness that bubbles within
No one likes sleepless nights
Not unless they are spent with a lover or a friend you never want to shut up
No one likes sleepless nights
But here they come again

If winter is over
Then why hasn't my heart melted?

My soil is craving revenge
Yet I should be happy

So many cords..
All tangled.
This was you
And I didn't know where to start from to set you free

Quite poetic is a dragonfly

Dancing and romancing the sun

It realizes it will soon die

So it doesn't care about the damage done

It just kisses the sky

Knowing its life will soon pass by

It hovers over lakes and sometimes rivers too

Even around people who tell it "Shoo!"

So when it finds itself beneath a boot

Or in front of a wind screen it goes mute

It doesn't care about the impact
because it romanced the sun
Kissed the sky
And glided over water

What more could a dragon fly want?

I haven't found peace
And I'm guessing I should
Like it is fundamental for my journey
Yet my journey has come to a halt
Well at least part of it
Like I'm in one car going at the speed of light
While I'm in car that has stopped moving because it broke down and a guy named Joe refuses to fix it, even though he has all the spanners and whatnots

So while one me is almost at the destination
The other me is hopelessly lost

The girl that sits infront of you
Having ended her journey
Is not the same girl who started her journey
So please don't dare speak to her like the old her that is lost

I wish my misery would melt like strawberry drops
my memories blurring in the distance
I wish my worries would die off like flies
my negativity peeling of the surface

Until then,
I just wish to stay alive
my heart still beating

You were wrapped in enticing packaging
Your name scripted in a luscious gold
Your picture proudly in front showing me what could be mine if I just opened the packet and took a bite
Yet I failed to read your ingredients
Of which hate and bitterness were the most previlent