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342 · Mar 2014
What happened to us.
Heaven Dawn Mar 2014
Don't leave me for the bedroom, we've been there a handful of time, my hair tangled around your fingers, and the time you said you loved me written across your chest.
I've slept alone in here, maybe once or twice, the smell of you blanketed me and I felt so completely disabled, so paralyzed with thought of you bringing your heat beneath these sheets.
I've examined every inch of this room, I can tell you where the light shines like moons, and almost every object on your bedside table (a stuffed dog, loose change, a note, crumpled up homework, a dock, your keys, the miscellaneous, and me.)
I've laughed here, but I'll never cry here, beds with beautiful boys were never meant for mini-oceans and heaving shoulders. I wonder if you've cried here, laughed here, wished for me here. Makes me wonder who else knew everything on that table, or saw the dust filtering through your blinds, did she love it all as much as I?
This felt safe, your warmth and your chest beating along in time with mine, this wasn't home, but a hell.
For if you left? These would be the things to haunt me.
332 · Feb 2014
You said forever.
Heaven Dawn Feb 2014
You said forever.
Don't you understand what you've laced into that word? An infinite amount of times you'll laugh so deeply that the room rumbles. A inconceivable amount of times you'll look me in the eyes and say "Your eyes are green today."
You said forever.
Do you even understand how many stars die in the time that "forever" consists of? How many babies will be born with our names? How many of them will find each other and call each other by the color of their eyes that day?
You said forever.
But did you understand that forever means nothing to someone who measures their life in tablespoons of honey, and kisses at parties with strangers with freckles that spell your favorite constellation?
I said forever.
But we both knew my forever meant until the day my eyes stopped turning green.
277 · Feb 2014
My mother would cry
Heaven Dawn Feb 2014
There's an empty pool across the street, you laid me down and told me to wait till the stars fell so I could drown in your love.
I was so terrified because you were the closest thing to God I was ever going to get, and I was trembling at the thought of telling my mother that God wasn't real, but a boy with Jesus in his eyes whispered things like "I want to break you apart, and throw you to the tides." was.
Maybe she'd see why you were favorite verse of the bible, with the constellations running around your shoulders, and the destruction of churches in your wake.
Maybe then I could tell her you were my favorite religion and the only thing I'd get on my knees for.

— The End —