That's the question
What is a baby
What is a child
What is it to you
What does it mean to you
A baby is the gift of a god
Trusted to you
It is not a burden
For it is a privilege
To be a parent
I wouldn't know
But I've seen
It seams wonderful
The gift no one deserves
But a few
It is the ultimate sacrifice
But the ultimate gain
Nothing can compare
Nothing is the same
Nothing ever will be
It's hard work
Sleepless nights
Wondering if your good enough
Thinking your not
Thinking how am I to do this
How am I to raise her
But this gift
Is given to those who can
They don't always want to
But they can
I've gotten a taste
A sample
And i fell in love with her
Her beautiful blue eyes
Her shining blonde hair
Everything about her
I want to do everything for her
Protect her
Be there for her
Everything
I want her in my life
I want to be in hers
I've laid awake
Many a nights
Thinking what if I don't do right
What if I'm not good enough
I know there's no turning back
I know there's no giving up
And I'm willing
To take that extra weight
I want to
I'll do anything for her
I'll do anything for you destine
I swear
Your not old enough yet
But when you are
I pray to god I'm still there
Because I'll never leave
I could never
The only way I'd leave
Is if I was forced by one person
And she knows she has that power
I pray she doesn't use it
For I love her
And I love you
When you read this, destine
Remember in your heart
That there is nothing
I will not do for you
I swear

Have you ever watched an hourglass
Drip grain after grain
Telling you the seconds that tick by
In doing so I found myself with a new phrase
Slowly emptying into my mind
One grain falls, the lies begin to pile
The moment I asked you
Will you be my Valentine year round
Those sands of time
To our loves imminent demise
Began to pelt and pile at the bottom
Like the lies I told you of me never leaving
Of me always going to be there
I'm partially human
Yet that doesn't make me super
Baby I don't even know
If you can understand this metaphor
But when the sands empty from the top
I'll flip it over again
I'll never let our time together end
I'll be honest with you
Ask me anything I'll tell you the truth
I don't have any secrets
But this very one
I want to be your first for everything

my wrists
spill blood
just like my pen
spills inky words
onto my notepad

It was before me
Yelling no screaming blood curdling wails
I should have never done it
I should have never walked hand in hand with my heart
It's too small
We never see eye to eye
Always on the opposite side of the train tracks
I'm the fool not my heart
I was the idiot stupid enough to think
This relationship would ever go anywhere
Was I ready?
Why did I try?
My mother was right
I am a pathtetic excuse of life
A waste of talent
A rotting corpse of emotions
Left deaf dumb blind and lost in this grave
Wondering when the sky will decide to fall
And show me
Show the world
I was always the fool
My heart was the one I blamed
I'm too weak to continue fighting
Yet I'm still clutching this sword
Like I know I'll win
Would I be the fool to let go and die
Let the anger decapitate me
Or would I be a fool
For not forgiving my own stupidity
Say I'm sorry
Hope you'll still love me the same
I know I'm the fool not my heart
But what should I think with
When both my heart and mind know
We'll both end up getting hurt
Should I think with my ****
Say I love you only when I'm trying to get in your pants
Should I think random
Start talking about the stars and say I love you out of nowhere
Should I think without thinking
Shut the **** up and be the pet
I don't want to be the fool anymore
I don't want to be domesticated
When I'll always have the instinct to hunt
The pain I feel in my chest
Every time we argue
With the razorblade you wish I would get rid of
I'm the fool not my heart
So when you break up with me
Don't target my heart
I'm the one responisble for all of this
Take aim at my forehead
My heart has seen the worst
It has the most scars
So this time I'll make my body and mind
Take the blunt force of your punches
I'm the fool
Always was and always will be
Not my heart
Never was

Drip drop
One tear two tear
Drip drop
One puddle two puddle
This **** is getting old
Tears falling on the inside of my face
Too shy to show their face
Yet the reopened scars on my wrist
Dance nakedly in public
Drip drop
My tears drip
Into the depths of my throat
The feelings all but pleasant
Choaking and coughing
Of every one that pelts my trachea
Drip drop
My blood drops
Creating puddle after puddle
I'm afraid to even look at my feet
Because I know their all overflowing
They say blood is thicker than water
Yet they dance so elegantly together
When their the ones that are drowning me
All because I'm afraid you'll say its my time to go
Pack up my **** and hit the road
Drip drop
It's kind of annoying
I'm glad I only have a few seconds left
Till the facet in my veins and tear ducts
Finally close themselves
Or the water company realizes I'm not paying the bill

well i don't like YOU
but i kind of like US
yeah, i like us
and i like that sneaky picture my friends took
when you kissed me
and it hurts my stomach when i think of how
i'm not the only girl you kissed that night
which i guess makes me guilty of double standards
'cause even though you were the first of the night
you weren't the last
or the middle one
or the one after that
but yeah, let's say the first one is all that counts
and then we can both be happy
we
us
us
us
us

Did you know? Cashew nuts grow on flowers,
   and they grow one at a time.

Think of the distance between railway tracks:
    this traces back to ancient Rome.

To know the true energy of the sun: imagine it
   covered all over with postage stamps,
      each square inch a bomb,
       each exploding with power only comparable
        to explosions in Hiroshima. Energy like that.

Think of this: how time once was unknowable
   for being different to everyone, until trains began
    and the post began arriving on time.

Did you know? Facts are enough to make a poem.
Where do poems grow? Do they come one at a time?
When did poems first set down their tracks?
What is the power of a poem? Does it explode?
Are poems different to everyone? Will we ever know?

When people talk of beauty- I only picture your face
you think i'm wrong and should be put into place

When I tell you how perfect you are
you just list every imperfection and scar
but you'll never change my mind
wherever you go i'll follow behind
if you don't want me just ask me to leave
I will not be happy without you i grieve
I crave your touch when i'm alone
i'll still love you when we're grown
because i fell for your soul
your looks just a bonus making the whole
i love every inch of you
believe me i do

you're perfect in my eyes
even after all the lies