How do you love yourself
When all you want is someone eles.
It kills me to see everyday
What I've always wanted
But could never pay to have.
I was born the way I am
Whether I like it or not
And it makes me cry at night to visualize what I want
But now know is impossible to have.

It hit me like a train
Breathless
Frozen in time
The seconds seemed like minutes flowing by
Tears streamed down my face and I couldn't make words
I couldn't speak
Being told I'll never have what I've always looked forward to
Always wanted to have
Sincerely shattered me.
I was told I needed to look at myself in the mirror
And tell myself I love myself
And will make what I have work
That would be a lying,
But I guess I'll have to learn,
Because if I dont soon

Im not sure how much longer I'll last.

I want to write you so many things,
but whatever I write doesn't ever seem enough.