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Hayley Neininger May 2012
I respect my body.
The same way I respect my house.
My red brick skin
Blushed with flowing blood
From my space-heater heart
My air-conditioner lungs I have routinely maintained
With long drawn out breathes of cool wind
I have protected my house with toxic pockets
Of termite poison
To protect my wooden frame
And I hang up pictures of love ones with
Nails inside tattoo guns that spell out their names
And I paint my home’s walls with different shades
Of colors to bring out its ascetic value
Like how I use blue eye-shadow so my guests
Can better see my eyes, bright blue
I eat vitamins like I vacuum my carpet
Cleaning up and persevering its worth
The ting-tang sound of a working vacuum
Paralleling the pitter-patter of those circular pills
As they fall down my throat
I seasonally change out my couches and my chairs
When I go to my mirror and tie-up my hair
A different look for a different season
Because my house deserves a separate look too
For when it feels the wind changing
And like myself my house would rather not be bare
So I dress it in marigolds and poppy flowers
And ivy that I have to cut down when I notice it growing too fast
Because like my house I am too beautiful to be covered completely
Each shrub I trim another inch of skin I can share
And I respect  it when I get home
I say just a little bit
More skin at the top
To show off my brick house.
eh....work in progress.
Hayley Neininger May 2012
This one is for my mother
My only gift that maybe and probably
On some levels just a re-gift
Of the gift she has already given me
Over the years and through the many
Pages in the many books she has read to me
The books that she pulled from her red-wooden shelves
And sat on her lap on top of peach printed skirts
And underneath her pale pink colored nails
Words that grew legs in my mother’s mouth
And were so well fed that they grew hands too
Hands, that stretched out so far they reached my ears
And tapped on my ear drums moors code
Tales of other sleepy children who just
Wanted to stay up, “please just one more chapter longer”
“Please, I’m not even really tired”
Tales that when looking back I hate to think
I never realized  
How these tales reminded me of her
From every little detail minute as the
Punctuations that penetrated the spaces
between my mother’s long winded breath
One story I remember in particular.
The crescent moon that cradled the cat.
The cat that escaped from her farm in search of more milk
Than the farmer was feeding it
That cat who ran to the sky thinking the Milky Way—was just that.
Only to realize the love of the famer
Tasted better than how stars
Felt on patted and pawed feet
So the moon held the cat and slowly dipped its semi- circle
Cavernous cradle down to the earth again
Into the hands of the farmer
My farmer, my mother earth
With one undone overall strap hanging below her shoulder
That in my childhood I would tip-top to thumb the edges of
That metal that spooned the silver button hook.
The shiny metal like a bookmark
That I hope will never find its page
In a book I hope my mother will read forever.
Hayley Neininger Apr 2012
I tried to describe you to someone
The other day
At a loss for affectionate nouns that
Would string together adjactives
Of how much I miss you.

Words sat deep in my lungs
And puffed out squeaky and small
Smoke-tainted coughs
Laced with conversations we had
When I first put that smoke there.

Words pilled up at the base of my gut
Twisting my insides the way you said
Yours did when you thought of planets.
Words that if formulated in my mouth
Would tell you I would ****
Just to be a moon circling in your orbit
Picking up rocks of you
You thought had fallen off forever
And were meteored through the universe.

Words that you once spoke to me
At night on a bench
Carried in my moon-hard
Lungs as smoke
That when I speak of you
Heat me thaw.
Hayley Neininger Apr 2012
I tried to describe you to someone
The other day
At a loss for affectionate nouns that
Would string together adjactives
Of how much I miss you.

Words sat deep in my lungs
And puffed out squeaky and small
Smoke-tainted coughs
Laced with conversations we had
When I first put that smoke there.

Words pilled up at the base of my gut
Twisting my insides the way you said
Yours did when you thought of planets.
Words that if formulated in my mouth
Would tell you I would ****
Just to be a moon circling in your orbit
Picking up rocks of you
You thought had fallen off forever
And were meteored through the universe.

Words that you once spoke to me
At night on a bench
Carried in my moon-hard
Lungs as smoke
That when I speak of you
Heat me thaw.
Hayley Neininger Apr 2012
And again you fall up.
Fall up into your own head.
Your tangled strings of thoughts
Slither and snake around themselves and choke
Themselves out with a pressure twisted
Tighter than boy-scout knots
Ebbing around painful snaps of rubber band nerves
Looping around the tennis ball of your brain
And as you fall your foot snags on the ringed
End of a threading needle and as you kick it deeper
Into your soft red pin cushion mind
You are hanging with your legs pointed up
With your fingers just barely *******
The edge of that whiskey bottle
The needle breaks.
And you fall down into that drink
Dousing your brain with boiling hot liquid
Hoping that your knotted thoughts will
Melt into spaghetti, soft and loose
Barely circling the fork of your brain
And finally unravel the pressure of
Being the only person who falls both ways.
Hayley Neininger Apr 2012
A eulogy to the somebody
I claim to have used to know
It is scribbled on paper
Napkin
Receipt
Whatever
Behind my wood rotten desk
Under frost kissed drink rings and
And like all the other letters before it
Creased and folded into shoe boxes on top shelves
They all begin the same
And that part I have memorized
As I count the licks
Against the roof of my mouth
The slides of my tongue just beyond
The edge of my teeth
The drop of my head
I match with the dip of my voice
When I say, “A terrible loss”
But the words I have now bent
And smudged across one another
In the palm of my fist-formed hand
Have bled through their paper
And like no eulogy before I have
Nothing to say.
My head hung over what I know realize
Is just some body
That held somebody I used to know.
Hayley Neininger Apr 2012
Our adult selves are so cunning
Are they not?
They hide from the child inside us
And on occasion
Play hide and go seek
With them
In the most peculiar of ways
Taunting them almost with the
Promise that one day the baby
In their hearts will outgrow the
Adult on their surface
Placing hope in snow-globes
On high shelves with grown-up arms
So that the child, if it were to
To seek more than hide still
Could not reach it
And in its seeking would bang on the shelf
That the adult knew to not do
And the snow-globe would fall and crash
On the floor
Leaking out glittered blood
And broken crown-shaped pieces of glass
That only an adult is allowed to pick up.
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