harlee kae

harlee kae Feb 2014

fix me

her name is like
acid
on my tongue.
i swallow it
along with my pride.
it burns a hole in my stomach
making me ill.

your name is a
smile
dancing on my lips.
tickling the back of my throat.
i say it often
and it fills me with air
making me free.

and when you say her name its like a
blade
to my heart.
making me cry.
bleeding me dry.
and you don't even know
that you did it.

harlee kae Feb 2014

Transparency

Tonight I really hate you.
But I'll go on pretending I'm a happy girl in love.
You won't know the difference,
so what does it matter anyways.
At least when I'm pretending
I still have someone to talk to.
If I abandoned my inhibitions and told you the truth I'd be all alone.
Sad to say,
but I'd rather have a false feeling of love,
then no love at all.
By the time you figure this out
I'll be over it.

harlee kae Feb 2014

Ughhhh

The monster inside my head makes me think such vicious thoughts
But the thing is, I kind ot agree with it.
More than kind of.
My insides are boiling.
The anger and hate are literally eating me alive.
I can't stand it.
Can we not get through one day,
One day without me feeling this way.
The monster is telling me you don't care
About me in the least.
I agree.
But then again the monster *is me.

harlee kae Feb 2014

Rational Insomniac Thinking

Drip, drip* goes the rain.
Tears are falling, taking pain.
And nothing ever makes sense, anymore.
I stay up crying in the middle of the night,
My eyes still open with the morning light.
And I still don't have a freaking clue
What I should do.
But I'm hoping someday to fall asleep,
And see this nightmare come to an end.
Everything will be back how it should be
And you'll always still be my best friend.

harlee kae Feb 2014

coach

i wish you were my dad.
not because my dad isn't great,
he is.
but you are different.
you're one of the only people in my life
that doesn't treat me like i'm crazy.
and when i talk to you, i know you understand.
when you look at me i know you're proud of me.
it's so great to have someone that's proud of me.
you're the best psychologist
i never had to pay for.
when i'm with you, i feel like i'm home.
i wish you were my dad.
not because my dad isn't great,
he is.
but you are my best friend.

harlee kae Feb 2014

i never saw it coming, but i guess that's how life works.

Back before anyone knew
there was something between me and you.
It was a secret kept,
for just us two.
I would hold your hand, given the chance,
And no one gave us a secod glance.
They didn't think it was strange or queer
That when you were around, I was near.
You weren't filled with anger.
I wasn't filled with hate.
And march the 12th wasn't even an important date.
Back then was the time that you and hattie were the best of friends,
And sleepovers weren't questioned with "i don't know... depends"
Now my life is different.
Your life is different too.
I really miss the time when it was only me and you.

harlee kae Feb 2014

What was I Thinking

I trusted you.
I guess that was my mistake.
To me you were always so perfect,
And now I see that you're fake..
How can I be with a person who doesn't tell the truth?
You said it doesn't matter,
But this afternoon is proof
Now I'm questioning everything we've said, and seen, and done.
Was that day really perfect? Was that day really fun?
I don't think I can be with someone who feeds me constant lies.
Who treats me like the bad guy to put herself in a disguise.
I don't know if I should tell her that I have to let her go,
But I know a relationship like this will never ever grow..