I do not belong
In the convents

The wheat, is on me, everywhere
And a foreign language, inside me

Fields of uncertainity on me
They feed, they grow inside me

I think I do not belong
In the convents

Where do I belong? Who am I?
Smell my armpits, that must be I

I lust on my mother's language
I lust to find acceptance of me

I do not belong
In the convents

Am I sorry for my government ?
Am I sorry for myself ?

I crave the vision of unseen fields
I argue for the unaccredited history

But I know I do not belong
In these convents

Pk

How can someone,
As old, as wise, as a tree
As near as my breath
As for me, as I am for me
Hate me, disgust me ?
For my germinating mind
Was a failure

For my insecurity baited
That silly child
Suddenly, so sudden
It guided my mouth
To blurt out
A blurred nonsense
No sense in time, for a person

But how can that arrow
Be so swift and sharp

So precisely on target ?

How hate just clouds years of love ?
Like there was never any sun

Every moment defying nature
Announcing pain
Days, years, gone by

Pk

When your pen falls
From your book into your lap
It is just near your stomach
And then slips swiftly towards your flank
And you try to hold it, catch it,
Milliseconds only and you are anxious
Oh! You hear this peculiar sound
A short soft metalic ringing
Gone! Under the chair or somewhere

You have to rearrange yourself
From the extreme comfort of your posture
To pick up that nasty pen

You have to look at your days
Calculate every bit of their occurence
Try to prevent but still those pens fall

Pk

A path I am on
The one I was scared to be on
The one that's a Frost's road
Different as they call it
The one i was taught about in class
(For the sake of literature
I think)

Difference though is omnipresent
(But for the sake of science i think)
Difference is dangerous
Prevented and taught to that
But still so immense in me
Running, I run fast from it
Still those tiny ants
Ride me and creep on my chest
I slap and I recoil
Not realizing they would bite
Just afraid of a possibility
Under influence of tales of history
Where tragedy outnumbers celebration

Difference that is lovely
A dog or a pet I adore
I embrace it on some units
In cases it makes me revolt
Against groups who think differently
**** differently
And I am proud to insult them
Their inheritance of unevidenced values
Suddenly, though, and mostly
I hit headlights
The dog bites my flesh
I am short of arguments
To support my difference
I am short of theorems
To prove what is right
As I shake my peace flag
Weak in doubts of my wrongfullness

Difference leaves me alone
I am disappointed
I am disgusted
By the different crowds
More even by myself
Difference leaves me alone
Not always
But when does
It blows me down
With contempt and longitude
And i wither back to doubts
Beginning like a shower
Taking up, thunderstorm fashion
That 'I must be wrong'

Differents - hated by many
Maybe because they think it is a disease
Maybe it is going to convert them
Maybe they'd feel isolated
Left alone on a planet
Where everyone is on a screen
Screens might be too many
And you lose your owness
In that melancholy
Maybe scared,
The apparent parental foundations
Blown down to dust, now they mean nothing
The social cycles breaking apart
Storms of worry corrode and perforate
Your soul,
I understand its difficult
As I stand wet at the pavement
Staring at my waterlogged road
(I understand)

I was born with this monster
Feeding on my psyche
Leaving me deficit
Leaving me dumb
It taking my advantage
I taking its name
When i have to name my life
In one word
No matter how much
I tried shooing it away
Putting up acts, masquerads
It's impossible to let it go
It is me, the difference
And I feel like everyone is
Only either I am too insistent
For making my difference
So significant
Or I am a fool
That can't get over itself


Pk

Hang loosely from a stem
Move about with the mildest breeze
Let the leaves of fret fall
Let them, free your grip
Look around
You must see
Your dessication
On your own
The breeze has no time
For your feelings

Pk

Only because love
Was better answer
Did they jump off its cliff

Love, because only
It can hate nothing, even
Love for those who hate

Who hate those who love
I pray probability for them
Of falling for their fair share

Fall because only it
Can flip the world around, and
Death becomes smallest fear

The fear in sobs,
A memory of the beloved
That, the only reason for existence

Pk

When he sent me his letter
I couldn't stop laughing
Super-hysterically

Kindergarten through high school
He was such a creepy, silly kid
But like others, he was on my list
Though, I was under-cover as ever

And you know what he writes me
'Do you remember me, probably you should'

Baby boy,
You are money
And you ain't even aware
No factor to forget