You know where you are
What you are, when you are
But not really, you feel almost
           Detached

From the world
And all its people
From those closest to you
And those you have yet to meet

You read the words on the page
But not through your own eyes, no
As if you are merely a lonely
Thing floating through time and space

Not living, but breathing
Barely surviving, but existing
You walk, run, fall
But it doesn't feel like you

At all.

It gets easier
Somehow
In a weird kind of way
Slowly, day by day

First you're crazy
Head over heels
Want to see them desperately
Needing something to feel

Then you see you're not in their eyes
Not even in peripheral, something at the side
Just a friend, nothing more at all
How do I accept it? How do I move on?

Still stuck on them for a few more days
And slowly, the sickness drifts away
Leaving your body faster than you thought
Are your feelings for them all but naught?

Finally you realise
There's no chance, move on
It's the easiest way to do it
Just
            forget
                          about  
                                         it
                                                 all

Somehow.

What hurts is not the leaving
No, no, I'll get over that
It's only a matter of days
What hurts is the return

Not seeing you for weeks
Just numbs me, but gives peace
All thoughts of you are almost neutral
That's not what hurts

It's when I see you again
When I see your cheeky smile
Hear everything you say
Laugh at your jokes

Roll my eyes at your quips
And then I see you and think
I'm back now, but why
Why does it hurt so much?

I should be happy, joyous, grateful
But it only reminds me that
After today you'll go home and
I'll go back to mine

And see, that's what hurts

Just ten minutes was enough
To build up the longing
That would last, and definitely hurt
While I wait for you to return

It was so innocent, so gentle, so pure
Just a simple lean and I knew for sure
I needed, wanted, yearned for more
I wanted to see what life had in store

You asked me a question, just a mischievous thing
But it came out and I started thinking
Turning and looking at your face (I nearly wanted to run)
Elbowed you gently, smiled and said 'this one'

Perhaps one day I would look back
And see that was when it had just begun
Maybe one day I will turn to you and say
You are the one

No this is not a poem
About the saddest people in the world
Or my own saddest experience
It's about words

Words we use so often in our daily life
If only, almost, could have
Do we not realise their true meaning?
Only blinded by exaggeration

If only. If only it had happened
If only I had smiled
If only I had said yes
Just a bit earlier - would it be different?

Almost there now, but not quite
Almost did it, but not really
Almost happened, but didn't
So close, yet so far, right at your fingertips

Could have, had the ability to, but didn't
Too fast?
Too slow?
Didn't think it was worth it?

See now how such simple words
Can give a person so much more
Like the migrating of birds
Will you give your all and soar?