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211 · Oct 2018
Dear street performer
You standing brave at the corner of main
Holding your head up high,
Showing your heart, with all you have gained
as all of the people walk on by,

You are the hero, the actor, the true

You are most beautiful being you.
210 · Mar 2017
Mass-onic
You croak in fetal compression
Dare you expend to much life.

Breathe not outward

Move with in the cracks of your own foundation
Seep into the very spaces which make you weak
Fill them with the sentimental grain of yourself

Expand the distances between inner walls
and fill the spaces with the thickest parts of you.

Carpentry has always been a trade
for those who need more.
209 · Oct 2018
I was hoping
I was hoping You were different.

Like a different kind of soul....

And that we would flourish,

Kind of make eachother whole....

That you were what I needed,

And you'd want me around

That the days could be repeated

Just cause we liked the sound.....
What do you say?
209 · Feb 2020
crash
Murdering connection,
                        or convenience in our ties.
How you'd rather tell a thousand
                               painful thought up lies
To pull me down and shake me up
                                           and make me suffer so
Because your angry about one thing
                                           and feeling such such woe.
Funny how you would destroy
                                                all that we create
In one snap of an instant
                                       while your feeling hate
Crazy how you'd shift and move
                                                               all the blame to me
When I had just pointed out
                                               one single flawing thing.
Painful how I see you now
                                               so ugly
                                                              Once so beaut.
Funny how I hear you now,
                                            once loudly
                                                             now on mute
209 · Mar 2017
Feeling
I never fit in to
those one size fits all
catagories.
I was always to slim
or to wide.
and sometimes while listening to music
i can see myself and feel myself.
expand, or contract
and its like, in each phase of life i go through,
I'm either expanding
or shrinking.
and I dont know if one is good and the other bad,
but i know its sensational,
not painful, not joyful
its real.
208 · Jun 2018
hero anne
Some times I'm over whelmed
And I want to meld in with the mattress
You can lay your weight on me
I like the feeling it captures.
And I never feel so nervous
Like claustrophobic breath
But all at once so at peace
Resting under your chest.
And if you could just weigh me down
The panic I'm sure would leave
I could gain composer
Your weight is all I need.
And even if I struggle darling
Even If I panic
Lean on me till I'm silent
I'm sure that I can handle it.
208 · Apr 2018
tidal waves
Young daughter
Pride and narcissis
Flowers blooming
Sensational.
Son
Burning brightly
With in his own vortex.
Waxing and waning
Mean nothing to him .
Feminine
Blooms and then decays
Sorrow fills her heart
Departure never easy

Blazing styrofoam
Fixating on
Certain points
Admiration
Causes want
He never knew.

She grows like lightening
Flying fingers of electrocution
Stream toward and to and away
Flowers all bloom in unison
The moon is full of sin
And the son walks with in it all

Until he craves that nothing peace
That instability of the moving scene
Takes far away from his serene
And he hides from the motions
And her moon wanes still
And her flowers decay
And her mind feels grey.
But he needs the rest
While she nurtures so below
In his darkness
She nurtures as above.
And I'm getting off on the thought of it
Your loving pumping arteries
I'm just glad to watch you move
how you take in breath and then you lose
what could have been different in some small exhange
a moment in the past now rearranged
all the things i would have done
if i could have done something different.
I'm sorry, but the person you've called has not set up a voice mail, good bye......
I'm sorry, but the person you've called has not set up a voice mail, good bye......
I'm sorry, but the person you've called has not set up a voice mail, good bye......
I'm sorry, but the person you've called has not set up a voice mail, good bye......


Why are you sorry?
207 · May 2017
Death
My leaves have all been picked this year.
My blooms, the petals gone.
My truth has all been covered in fear
I am desperately awaiting the dawn.
Losing touch is easy, fading out is quick
Eyes which glowed once, will soon turn grey and sick.
Excelleration will slowly slow, motions comes to stop
No vision of where to go , so your body begins to drop.
Death is such a progressive thing, a sinking in of presence
Sometimes I find it filling me, A quite uncomfortable essence.
How often have I given myself to death. How often have I called it.
How often have I begged for it, to confront my issues and solve it.
Who is death and what is it... Why do I feel it, even though I am alive.
How can something living, COmprehend death... Why do I know what dying is like.
Why do I want to die?
I see winter coming, and Know deep in my bones, I haven't gathered enough resources to make it on my own. And death will make it so, that I do not suffer long.
206 · Jan 2017
growing old
My spinal cord drifts
Curving down my back
Its old and feeling stiff
It groans and cracks.

How many years
one thousand pass
All these tears
just to feed the grass

I spin circles in the dirt
I have never seen a bloom
And deep inside it hurts
To live within this tomb
206 · Apr 2017
opponent
I get angry and my eyes widen
I scream  a scream of angst
of anguish of frustration
It rips through the cords
leaving them hanging in suspense.

I scare you and I can tell.

Big man.

39,
you stand tall

You have a voice of your own

You use.

and then you hear my rage and
you shudder.

Good, You know I am just as real
as you.
206 · Jan 2018
collecting dust
Charlie rode the street
gliding through the night
Pounding size 12 feet
Following the bright.

He made his way through life
counting all his blessings.
He packaged all his strife,
In bags with beautiful dressings.

He put them on his shelves
He hung them on his walls.
Next to all his shells
And leaves collected from many falls.

Charlie rode the street
He moved through all of life.
205 · May 2018
fade up, red then white.
In such silence I feel so full,
yet boredom creeps up under me
like desire for a whole new creation
and ripping tides my body wants to move my mind wants to think,
and when they can't decide which route to take,
I fear stagnation may spoil my cycles and death comes upon me.
Death Of the most treacherous kind where I'm trapped in my body,
trapped in my mind.
And why can't these archetypes know their own play,
yes why do they do that wich causes dismay.
And why am  i so powerless and where is my will. How fast is my time spinning and how long can I feel
204 · Sep 2018
Step softly
Carnage in plucking the youth of the sage tree
and stacking her leaves on the ground
to carry in for the fall, and the tea
the incense she brings.

Carnage thats placed here
is a gentle handshake with the devil
a deal to be made to stay on the level,

A balance of sorts for this world that we live
has chaos ensue if one does not give
and sacrifice is made, in ways or another
and sufferage happens, upon the mother.

So carnage in plucking the youth from the sage tree
204 · Feb 2018
Sanction
Your light reflects
through my looking glass eyes
such color and beauty
such vigor and stride.

If only i could reflect
in every one who new me
the way you shine
deep into my eyes.

But I'm not the same

not the same as you
and you aren't quite like me.

and I think every one knows
i think its pretty easy to see.

I move through the ocean
you soar through the sky.
I'll bury myself in the dirt
you never want to die.


I want to burrow to the deepest parts of you
the caves into the earth
I want to show you the glory in death
i want to cover you in dirt.
204 · Jan 2019
Shades of palo azul
Wiring holding down and moving body parts
The will of all our coding is creating in the arts
its safe to say its some what the same but different in some other way.
Its safe to say it could be understood in a thousand ways so it probably should.
But floating on thought we think we think we hold our ground
and talking alot we think we think we think we are
wiring holding down and moving body parts.
Body parts equipped with magnetic hearts
Creating some fascist art
and hating some fascist art.


This is a song I wrote.
https://youtu.be/NxtF5ZIsPKw
203 · Mar 2018
Just incase
If I only had this moment
To tell you how I feel
If I were to die this morning
The thought is so surreal
That every second I spend with you
Is like a timeless heaven
And every day I'm more inlove with you
And everyday is our wedding.
Things I've said before
You've heard a thousand times
But things ill say again
If your face still starts to shine
But if this moment were my last
My words to you would be
It was never hard to love you
It came as natural instinct
And from the moment I met you
You climbed under my skin
And I would have never left you
I would always let you in
I live to be your wife
And at my death I hope you know
I loved to be your life
And I loved letting our love grow
And sometimes I'm scared
That something may go wrong
And you will never understand
How much I loved you or how long
And you would never feel
The depth of my emotion
And you would never understand
That if I'm the earth you are the ocean
203 · Apr 2017
KDCCarryon
how funny it is to meet
A girl who really cares
and in the second look she gives you
you know no one is really there

How dare you touch what is not yours
how dare you love what feeds on gore
How could you think any thing more
of a spider really but dressed as a *****.

I'm broke, we established that
My foundation dwells on cracks
and in the back of my mind
I always knew you werent my kind...

I always knew she would stab my back
No doubting her no doubting that
I always new she would eat my heart
No doubting that no doubting our part...

Oh lucky it is to meet
a girl who really cares
but in the first look she gives you
You know your heart is hers.

Hind sight will measure a million miles of pain
Hind sight will say pleasure wasn't worth, to refrain
Hind sight is clear and it could save a life
If a life was worth the saving....

and its not
203 · Apr 2017
Just like that
I package sweet things to say
In ribboned sentimental
You know me like I want you to.
We have taken over this rental...

Covered the walls in legends
Cobain, Lennon,  Dylan
My art is hanging every where
And for you my body is willing.

You pay the bills so kindly
I wash your dishes and kiss you feet
You always have been so kind to me
I have always drooled for your bodies treat.
203 · Oct 2018
ouch
Save it for your self,
you will need all you can get
cause its true and its said
that we hang by our necks

Slow asphyxiation of the greater parts of us
Eaten from our insides by all others lust

Picking of the bones of a qualities we've grown
and all those we call friends....
will they be there when the great night ends
203 · Jun 2017
Flaming Reflection
I had never tasted
the blood of Christ.
Nor, known his body.

Astral Flaming Reflecting
Bouncing light back to me
I swallow hard in eager aspiration
to please this universe.

I am alive, I scream!
Breath panting, I am alive!

Astral flaming comit hurtling
straight at me.
We were destined to collide.
You were destine to become my insides.
Practicing Tantric Rites, the Rites of Spring, the love you make, the pleasure you take.
202 · Jan 2019
Pan
Pan
Disheveled he Gathered himself, seeping out of the pores of existence itself. Like static energy dripping from every thing you could see. The bed room wall subtly became a spinning circle and the dressers and art got swept up in it too.
Just spinning color and light at first, a flash of tentacles and a gleam of mucus.
Genitals and tongues bloomed from flowers in the center of his head as he changed shape vigorously and swiftly. Sometimes almost to fast to remember the image from before.
Until finally, the spiral stopped moving and there stood a hologram of all those people they told us of, expect he was one person.
He had half the face of jesus christ, and half the face of horus, he had goat hooves, and he clipped them together as he danced, rocking back and forth in his sphere. He Played the Guitar and a harmonica, and he yodeled the most beautiful song, about the one which he created, who went into panic and ran from him, oh he knew the story, as he watched it play over and over again only wanting to save her, but she was so feral and fearful running through the woods, trying to chase her would only scare her more.
So he sang by the edge of the forest, a song of his lost love, and as she ran through the trees the earth turned and did the season, and her body aged, and withered, and she was born again wailing in fear from the start....

But he sang, and he sang and he sang, hoping to stir her, to distract her from the forgetful panic she was trapped in,

until one day he started seeping through the walls
and she stopped in awe with all fear dissolved, suddenly enctranced by the strangeness of god.
202 · Jun 2018
end
end
Oh you self deprecation
You disolution
Unexplainable
Ending to
The always ending
To the every day
Writing a a new ending.
202 · Jun 2017
Seen
Your rolling waves of physical effort
The smell of the breath from your nose.
The sounds and sighs you quietly make
With in my head a symphony compose.

Blue tee shirts and Egyptian after shave
Books on spirituality and success
A  thousand ideas for free energy
a man who some how thinks hes less.

A soft voice with a strong scream
a Rock Star,  singing, guitar playing fool
A guru in healing and friend in life
A kiss on the cheek and a drink by the pool
201 · Mar 2017
Killing off hate
I would love to keep her but the body is getting cold
I didn't meant to **** her its just, fightings getting old.
And One last night together is all that I want,
I would love to keep her but to be blunt.

She never loved me any way.
Fighting was all she did,
and now that she hasn't moved,
Its nice to see her dead.

She never did me any good, no one else now too
Its glad to see her finally gone out of this healthy mind
and I would never want her back I never ever would
I hope  there is something better, a new Idea to find.
201 · Jun 2019
Survival of the fittest
Saving some tender green in the helplessness of life
to hold me down on the ground when gravity leaves at night
I'm not afraid although i'm shaking
Notice these things which define
The earth is solid in its quaking
as long as your not on a fault line
201 · Apr 2017
Sweet Loaf
Pressure and cream
You quake me love
and in a dream
I push your shove
You wake me Beautiful
Hands full of flesh
and YOU Make me feel
I fall you catch.

Pressure my love
You lean on the walls
Inside safe rooms
Hum sighing calls
I love your cream
Your stability
Your fingers and hands
Your pressure on me

You dream and I dream
and we meet each other
in the middle
Father and mother
In the middle
Brother and sister
In the middle
Missus and mister.

You move against  my tides
and in the pull it magnetizes
and you move against my sway
pressure on my flower of may
You move against my movement
but some how swaying in my tide
You give me illuminant
and  neither of us can hide.


I speak in tongues to define
Your beauty
I speak in tongues
speaks from you to me
You speak in mouthfuls
of fertility golden

I could never separate from you

you are the opposite to my pole
the north side to my south


You stick to me through electricity
200 · Apr 2018
Grapple
I doused myself in gasoline
And set our bed on fire
Before I went to sleep
I told of my desire

The ashes are now
What we used to call comfort.
The flames dissappeared
Into a savior of some sort.

The springs are still glowing
The passion is dead
The drive to keep going
Was found in the bed.
And in me.
But I doused myself in gasoline.

I set the bed on fire

But before I went to sleep
I spoke of my desire.
200 · Oct 2018
Beauty stained
Beauties stained me,
if its taught me anything
its taught me everything .... will fade away in time
and my skin is aging, yes my skin is aging
My beauties stained me, it wont sustain me
199 · Mar 2017
Desiresless
Pink slip and you would never guess
Not between my thighs.
Drip drip from the tip of your tongue,
Yours to mine eyes.
And we can press it to the wall
Cage it there so it can't crawl.
Hold it down you will see
that everything is exactly me.
199 · Oct 2017
Alchemy
My Inner transformation.
And jesus would be proud.
My masonic declaration
Egyptian secrets have been found.
Your sulfur and gold.
My mercury of millions.
Your outer space phenomenon
My inner cellular divisions.
I see it all
Riddle me that Horus.
The sun rises
and pours energy before us.
I'm centuries in the making.
This mind and its expansion.
I'm centuries in the making.
Many rooms, all one mansion.
199 · Jun 2018
borned
Unfolding petals
slipping into sunlight
For its first day of expression
and it knows just what to do
but the rays scorch her soft tissue
and her color goes brown

how sadistic the father.
199 · Jun 2019
I dare you
Savage little honey drop
crystallized like sugar
sweetness from my ovaries
has turned everything bitter.

Quaking ***** which begged to burst
a fruit that's so obscene

wailing with its own discomfort
discredited its being.

How i wanted you to be inside of all of me

How i wanted you to be in me so selfishly.

I would have held your love and blood

Boiled it to the brink

of self implosion or selfless explosion

or something so pristine.
199 · Mar 2018
And Then i was jesus christ
Spoken like a true martyr  
Suffering taught fully and for most
This life is not for you.

But for those who degrade

Innocence and youth
Beyond compare.

I suffered for the sins of my ancestors
For those mistakes made in mind.  

At the hands of my gaurdians
I was splayed before the Satan
In my own mother
I was the blood shed and hate
Receptical.
I was the hang man dangling
I was the beaten fool.
For my whole existence at one certain point.
I was the center of distress for this world.
At what cost to my own growth
Did I sacrifice my self
For the wrath of intolerance.
I would always let you walk on me
For I had no other choice.
But you were the one whose will
My existence ebbed on.
And you were the one who gave your only begotten daughter
To the **** with In you.
I stand tall.
I am lucifer
And then I am jesus christ.
About growing up with my mom.
198 · Jun 2017
Oh you angry star.
Madly swinging arthritic swollen
Madly swinging arthritic swollen
Arthritic-ally swollen Madly swinging
Fists, fists, fists.

She hit me, and it hurt.
My mother, my friend.
You'd have me burnt.
She hit me, again
Bruises on my pain.

She hit me,

I hate you halley layne.

She hit me.

Life is never fair
Mommy doesn't care
Learn to hate yourself girl.
Learn to love your suffer.

She never wanted me
she never wanted
she never respected me
memories haunted.
She never wanted me!
She never wanted
She never loved on me
she never even wanted.

Madly swinging swollen
arthritic-ally beholden
Madly swinging swollen fists
your sick
your sick
your sick.
198 · Sep 2018
sweet talking
Chirp and chime,
Tequila makes the time
and you make the moment
you keep me in line.
198 · Jan 2018
Birth
We'll be living in all the oceans now

Atomically spread out

Flipping twitching

cellular division.

I'll always be pulled back to you.


All this separation
splitting ends
and devastation
Calls for some type of
celebration...

Pull yourself apart and create a
new nation.
197 · Jan 2017
The feeling hits
Oh it all chalked up to this.
A leak in the ceiling,
A slap on the wrist.

And it never acted out.
Always stayed calm
even when you shout.

It held you tightly in place
Kept a warmth in your belly
a smile on your face,

But remember that leak in the ceiling.
Your floors rotting out.
And the smell of the dead
is really very stout.

Love you've got a problem
not a slight inconvenience
An addiction to substance
You'll soon need some credence.
197 · Feb 2017
Broken self
Sweet romance and the glitter around her eyes
You want to love her, but when you touch her she dies.
You want to need her but she seems in a distant paradise
You can't control her and she can't control her eyes.

Honey scented and quite insecure
She will definately lean on you
Thats for sure

She will hold your hand and follow you
through this life

She would even be your wife.

But that sweet romance and the glitter in her eyes
Its her hopes and dreams she thinks while she dies
Its her old age because she doesnt think heaven will be nice
Its her closed off self and her sultry eyes

You want to love her, but at what price
Dont try to shove her,
196 · Oct 2017
Self discovery.
Ambivalence
What an ever perfect romance.
You move me back and forth
Two apposing sides.
You move me from my source
Two apposing rides.
Begging for divorce.

Contradiction screams
I need you now
i leave you now.
Contradiction Screams.
I'll grow some how
I'll know some how.

Ambivalence
some only god knows why romance.
196 · May 2018
searching
You'd just like to still yourself  into the stone .
And stop your breathing
Meld yourself into the earth and stop your needing
196 · Apr 2019
suck it off
Would you look at the time
my skin that is drying
and the whole time im hiding
the truth

would you look what i said
how i thought i was well read
how my intentions thrive in death
oh im begging.

Can you tell me who I am
and if you couldnt then i cant
and im sick of this romance
of dying dues.

I asked you how to spell it
and  you want to repel it
all the way from me you wanted
gone

I tried my giving hope,
I tried our tethering rope
you wanted it or nope
i never knew.

I guess all the while
as if i were a child
i held on to you,

at least hoping for some truth
195 · Jul 2017
okay
Take it from me,
I was never a hero
Its easy to see
its not very clear though.

According to history
my experience has been blistery
I'm not complaining
But this life has been fierce to me.
195 · Mar 2017
Extrapanielsion
I'm counting on this mind to open up
I am counting on this heart to not close shut.

my eyes are all  three strained,
and my spinal cord feels maimed

This light, this information you have given me
Why does it cause such strain on my body
Why do I grow weaker at first
just to shoot through the crown with a might burst.


What is this life to live for,
why have I never opened any doors
why have i always longed for something more.
195 · Mar 2017
Enter your Orignal code NOW
I tap my toes inconsistently to my own rhythm.
I don't really care that your watching me
I have learned to live this life through my own wisdom.
And I have learned to be who ever the **** I want to be.
195 · Aug 2020
Realing
Care to hear my reality
as time slips between us
and i have no mind
but the mind that beholds us

So dare to think of me as something more
Than just a washed up woman a bedroom *****
than just a person with flesh and veins
than just a being with glory and pains

If you could think of me as the stars
then i could think you are more
Than callus build up and half healed scars
I could think you are more.
195 · Nov 2017
And what if I died
My Lover, My husband, My friend
My brother, my son,
you've been with me till the end.

This breathing of mine will soon cease

and still I'll be resting at your feet.

My savior, My christ, My light.
It pains me to leave you
as my soul is taking flight.

The fun we have had,
the days when we lay crying
are all flashing before me
as its me who lays here dying.

And for every single bad day
I hope you to forgive me
and for every single good day
i wish you to relive me.

My whole existence
has been for your amusement
and I am so grateful
for no other way I'd use it.

My lover my husband my friend
I've enjoyed being with you
until the very end.
A poem written for a contest, about dying
195 · Mar 2017
Son Of Man
On second thought I will try romance
I will try growing plants
I will run and kick and sing and dance
on second thought I am two
One with out and one with you.

One with love and one with hate
One with Need and one with ate.

One with Give and one with take.


Hahaha. Youll never understand

I am  Lucifer, and I am Christ the man.

I am both and I am all and
Am risen while I am fall.

I am fallen angel here,
and risen dead soon to bear

the light of the world the great sensation
The magnetism of the planets the great vibration.
194 · Jun 2017
Things
Damaged goods is an understatement
I wanted you to **** me
And when i saw the pain in your eyes
I wanted to sedate me.
Your no *******
but i was mental twist
ooh
I find it hard to live,
ohh
I find it hard to kiss.
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