They were clouds but they formed the longest white feathers it wasn’t the noted war bonnet of the
Plains no this was a head dress for a maiden that could only be the glory of love embodied to look was
To stall and stop time your breath slows your eyes grow wide in the throes of elements started in loves
Dreams untamed without bounds or borders the cherished object grew it was everything man knew and
Then more was created as the heart dared explore all the possibilities love drew and did spew the
Tantalizing the finest detail from the long mist of islands truly cloaked in mystery she walked somber
Paths her silence and grace tripped the scale of wonder elegance it termed in language that only poets
Could write her soft touch was the trinity of sun light moon light as it practiced the art of creating
Earthen things by just a softening glow with at touch of waters mist to complete the total design of
Natural fabrication out of all that is natural and human it bespeaks of spiritual clandestine movements
That created life in the first place all this resides in her eyes and the starry crown she adorns in the night watch where she shares her magic to all who seek loves possessive hold on every fragment of thought
And being stir this scene with angelic fingers romance set adrift with the power to make emotions that
Last beyond life times the bedrock foundations of generations from thee eternal sky her forever
Dwelling place all lovers say thank you.

Cold springs inky Blackwell gone from all that was special endearing a world of subjection with bounds
Expressed in tangible constants blessings fixed by strata and composition the fusing of the most
Elemental design in human life to love and be loved remembering from both sides with such intensity
The very world elliptical these pulsations reach their apex they do contend they harness all known
Reality they are extravagant in the extreme they gestate the rawest and fullest impact able truth
Forever swirls flows in the sweetest valuable treasure house each day every hour laughter and tears
Are weighed from youth till death every participle hangs know not the weight that is suspended in this
Airy clime the visitation the stitching of immortal souls in effortless joy in every syllable building blocks
Of deftest design were being appropriated where near or distant magic indefinable took new breath
Arrested the common and the extraordinary knowing not the magnitude all of matter was being forged
The great blacksmith of the past was surpassed no engineer of earthy skill can touch what was wrought
By a man and wife in their intimacy or their reach the breadth of the land and the stars bowed in
Wonder as their arching hearts surpassed there heights of wonder and grace tenderness distilled to
The thinnest equation where dreams were laid bare and on this truth scaffolding as thin as a
Hairsbreadth held a succession of thoughts achievements and future probabilities destiny occupied
Nothingness but left a bridge that all of life was welcomed was fixed to a point it grew balloon like it
Ascended by revelation in ordinary circumstances flesh and blood accelerated beyond the brains ability
To fathom where all of this was leading second by second generations were being spawned called forth
From hidden trajectories of earth and space go to the window of sharing recapture amazement it will
Pour comfort into the wound and sorrow of loss against all odds you forged the river of time made new
Life takes it first hesitant breath you were the recipients of miracles they plainly called them bundles of
Joy you cast fourth strains of indefinable rectory spirit was sparked and with love’s breath a fire grew
It is the quality of life and unalterable peace and joy submerged in every day peaks and valleys if you get
What this speaks of it will carry you over the valley up to the heights sorrow will replaced with
Benediction and esteem for what you both accomplished and wrought in this life which is only
A dress rehearsal for that which is truly amazing it waits in surety just beyond the confining strains
Of this blissful song you sang for a lifetime

Some have stood and looked on the face of the Nile others have stood at the base of Everest it’s hard to
Turn away your gaze you try to place it in your mind it jumps the bounds starts to build in tremendous
Colossal extravagant realms these alone can bare the load or cross the everglades see the meaningful
Mixed with the extreme confusion and at some point the secret turning envelops you and you except
What you can and digest the rest but there is a greater reality there are times in ordinary days you
March to extreme distances troubles exhaust either you are looking through eyes filled with tears
They ache and are weary your rescue comes unannounced from the most unrecognized source
Something that little thought is given the face in the mirror we look then forget give it little thought but
Others when wasted times befall them they look as if they are hungering for the sun after a long
Troubled night of darkness in the hidden recesses vagueness intangible non graspable bodiless
Memories materialize then fade when the aching heart would have your hands reach forth and hold
They give them the telling of deep longings that surge and crash against the walls of your soul
Speechless inability chokes the words that want to flow are ****** by powerful forces and into this
Torment one thing emerges as a soft glowing light saying in effect the darkness can’t hurt you I am
Here you are at a loss for all things dear then eyes that have seen you through some of the hardest
times and ears that have listened when all others turned a deaf ear to your cry then the mouth begins
to speak your knees grow weak overwhelmed you know times you thought were lost forever all foreign
distant lands you were walking fade and give way to the surest and most agreeable time a hand slips
into yours they never even know the blessing and comfort that is provided by that ole familiar soulful
knowing face that you never give a second thought and yet here its volumes cover hidden wounds that
are barely understood but the beaming glow takes you in tow carries you beyond treacherous reefs you
find you are being drawn down the island shore to a safe place that you can go inland you will find you
are a stranger but the face of your friend is well known by all and you will be accepted loved and cared for so the next
trouble breaks across your tiny boat look not at the waves but the strength etched in the friendly
feature of the one wisdom created for you alone in this you can master any storm know the soothing
mist the grandeur of sunset peace burst through every ray giving way for you to say thank you father you
have your way in the storm and you have anchored my heart in a sure place an altogether loving face

This is about one of our friends it sort of came out of the shadows part at a time so I will continue it that way a pretest flight
The days of earth boundlessness and this is true love is the only thing that we will take away and will last forever
From heart to heart it streams in darkness it beams through soundless and well crafted dreams love bound together by sight
Look into the pool the stirring depths behold the rapture stir the water with your fingers riches beyond life beacons from stillness

Privileged best describes the act of seeing this knowing this dear flowing through the lives of those who are young and innocent
The projecting of love goes forth the receiver’s look of appreciation in this circle there is an unbroken power that exist
This covers all human activity to its extremist far reaching borders at times human weakness barely wins love stands nothing can dent
This force born in divine regions cascades downward tying mind heart and soul into an unbreakable relationship

Touch of hands a simple act the building blocks of lives together they will build towering walls that holds days and years within
A fortress secured at its weakest points by trust in this well waters swell overflow outward they stream life flourishes in quiet strength
Words of tenderness flow on the current the body and spirit actively navigate in these rare spheres laughter and joy the state there in
Time only ages and further reveals the deepest ties started with a simple introduction now an ocean filled with emotion

Blood ties will reach beyond earth’s time skies will be but a mark in a long ago history written in an azure blue print love still endures
Love made an unknown promise when it first did ignite its flame would reach across even deaths divide through darkness it glows
Distance doesn’t impede this fundamental human truth once began it knows no end sorrow brings more telling volumes it only assures
Two walked along life’s sacred byways for a time one may be invisible but still the beloved is as real as life itself love and truth abide

He was bound all his days in earths binding ways
Mornings bright until shadowed night abiding alone
In the still the mind fixed on marching images they quietly have their say
Giving charm without connection just jumbled in this maze a timeless zone
inwardly warmed by your richest coffee brew
my mind stirred and stimulated by your comprehension and thought
overwhelmed the mind seems stymied momentarily powerless to see
the legend climbed the heights drunken power understood not what he bought
instantly back to earth feet tethered to solid ground
throw open the door look far and wide beyond the door yard
all the familiar boyhood haunts spill forth with thrills that abound
constantly I muse with you in mind thoughts rush between easy and hard
in common ways you stand out all in all you are truly heroic even in sameness
though you keep to the shadows you are not nameless

Steps these beginning steeps unavoidable the stains of water and mud clearly from Noah’s flood
Seeds crushed into the cracks from earliest civilization fiery ones left black shadows on the walls
Faint touches of red as clear as rubies square holes like those used in crucifixion could it be his blood
Beyond earths plain the steps are blocks of diamond burnished by the glory that brushed over them

Spirals that know no parallel in earthen design etched loves burning flame scenes of two worlds intact
The rise and fall of battles waged evil repelled the cost by sacrifice unto death they tread these steps too
From parapets of stone their souls ever bold made their way and vulcanized the heights adding impact
God called legions they left behind the puny Himalayas uncharted stars they pass still the steps rise

Rend me wool to hang among celestial worlds the maidens can weave this from mountain doll sheep
It will drape this spiral in great detail masters will add the flaming achievements a banner of honor to all
Hard places of the wall softened by showing perilous dangers overcame through eyes so fond that weep
Not one single foot will be lifted on this way who knows not the way of sorrow and pain only by this gain

The winds would tear you loose as you climb to those terrible heights the hands are steadied by might
Keep up the pace ever mindful of the race yours is not a level one but a crested one of brightest morn
The long days are fading all are nearing following those who from their climb know joy of almost flight
Look down look up these tiers look no stronger than thinnest silk not so this is an unbreakable ancestral chain your forbears forged that leads to heaven your place is add to this living chain

Night Thoughts

Where do they come from nocturnal musings and dreams I have done my best to push back deaths pain if even only an inch that is a gain for you a little bit of space a touch of comfort if you ask me what do you know about pain. In a six year span I lost my only living sister four years later her only daughter two years after that a mother that I never had to lose in the first place. Now for some of the names I know personally Jack Jeffrey Jack Cloe Buck and Josh, Howard Greg’s wife’s dad big Tom **** P. Jim M. Homer Rick there are others that read this I don’t know your loved ones but it written for you as well because God knows. So many times people ask well why God doesn’t do something. I can’t answer fully and I surly don’t want to give some small folksy half hearted attempt. I will answer a couple of ways God hates death he could have said anything in any language but the first thing he said that would be destroyed is death he didn’t create it it is the unalterable fact that springs from sin he dealt with it I will speak about it in a minute. Another part of the answer I said this is unreachable Why did Socrates die after drinking Hemlock he didn’t have to yes he did truth left him without a choice God is the same way sin demands death truth for Socrates was death rather than betray the very men that killed him he willing to his spirit the hemlock was sweet as life giving water. He became a part of truths everlasting fountain Jesus circumvented death all of our sins are bitter to him let me relate these stories and drive the point to the deepest level. The first one is personal my wife and I went from the bay area eighty miles south to Monterey California we spent the day at the sea shore and our final stop was at fisherman’s Warf four to five hours later Mexican gang bangers pulled up to two young female students from the Presidio and shot them dead then went over on Fremont street in Sea Side shot down a middle age Mexican woman animals don’t have a race true to the predators code everyone is fair game. This was all done so they could earn their gang colors. For two and a half years I lived in and out of Monterey and Sea Side after getting out of the service I had a painting job on the Presidio. It was personal but this came even closer to home I told my cousin if you go hunting you have about fifty percent chance ending up the prey in someone’s gun sight. Two months pass a kid up the street on Blacow Rd I Lived on this street for twenty five years all he was doing was pedaling his bicycle a shot rings out broad day light he is gone his crime his mother country flies a Mexican flag. Two nights later a mother misses her ride to work she is scared of the dark streets her teenage daughter walks with her it’s two in the morning it’s just unjustified fear at a corner in the better part of Fremont a car pulls up along the mother and daughter the human thing would have been can I give you a lift this was no human the monster picked up a fallen limb and beat them both to death as they screamed to their family in the cell phone they were poor Mexican immigrants. This is gut wrenching writing but this is the very reason your savior hung between earth and heaven this didn’t have to happen this is human evil in the extreme.
The evil perpetrated against the pure innocent Son of God was explained in search for truth a bible study program our church has if I knew what it contained I wouldn’t have read it I wouldn’t put it here I’m trying to drive death’s initial pain and it’s lingering effects off of souls that they can breathe a little freedom. It described the crucifixion in two ways the physical and emotional or moral revulsion Christ felt. First they beat him we all know that then they took a cat of nine tails and tied to each end they had fixed metal or bone then they beat him with it forty times until it cut him open leaving entrails exposed pulled out his beard. Rammed a crown of thorns into his brow then mocked him calling him king of the Jews. Then there were the sins and their raging affect was put like this take your sainted mother out of her home away from her family then install her in a ***** house. Jesus felt even more no one can feel the depths that he feels and has suffered because he loves us the cross his Hemlock It was not sweet but the rivers of living water you can know were dug at Calvary I don’t know it but I wouldn’t be surprised if they aren’t the many tears he wept before Calvary and after. I can’t verify this but I can verify he still cries today you decide I was working at a car auction it was late I was by myself as I walked up to Karen’s desk she had a picture where she was sitting on a car the sun was shining bright she had her arms over her head in exhilaration it was a beautiful picture. I knew her story minimally I never talked to her I knew she was nineteen a single mother and had a fifteen month old little boy. Then unexplainably I started to cry uncontrollably this went on for an hour I had been praying for the people who had desks there I thought that was it. The next day I showed up the place was closed the guard told me Karen was killed when her and her friend were on the golf cart they used to get from building to building it was such a big place. Her friend driving in fun ****** the wheel it threw Karen out on the asphalt breaking her neck. There is a song that says he saw my need I stood by her desk Jesus was there he knew what tomorrow held I was just caught in the blow back from his sorrow and tears he was shedding. Yes he agonizes for you he carried into his domain the agony I felt was tremendous though I was unaware of what was going on. I’m sorry I can’t finish this as I was going to I wrote to many sacred things then even to express even those things for your comfort isn’t right to put them here.