I cannot love
I don’t know how
I do not live
In the here and now

I’m off somewhere
Distant and deep
Hiding myself
My secrets to keep

And none may know
Not even I
Why I keep
Telling such lies

Lies to myself
And lies to you
When I say
I don’t love you

There is a place
I know not of
Silent whispers
Of the deep above

A desire to return
Though to where unknown
In our hearts and minds
This feeling has grown

How can we express
What is hitherto unseen
What images and forms
Can our consciousness glean?

Who are we that we feel this way?

Certainly not the things
We thought ourselves to be

But something more

I’ve known what I should do
What I can do
And what I will do
In times to come
I know now that motivation
Is not something one should wait for
But something that must be created
With a clear mind and discipline
For without these guides
Motivation drifts and fades off
As a wisp of cloud over the sea
It’s return as questionable
As it’s brief existence

Can you hear it
The groaning of the earth
The audible patience
Of One not yet born

The stillness deafens
If you just listen
And in the deepening song
Might it be revealed

Only to the wise
Those without wisdom
A pinpoint star
In a sea of black

A hidden miracle
In the cold of night
Gentle and meek
Born to the world

In stillness not crying
The groaning subsided
A sign of relief
An audible swell

The world rejoices
For One has been born
Amidst the darkness
The Son of God

Dust and shadows were all I saw
After the initial impact
A brief flash
Followed by eons of darkness

The world I knew
The home I had fought for
Gone in an instant
Evaporated to the cold of space

The long war now finished
Both sides scattered to ashes
So many and so much lost
And all for what

To start again

In the distant ages to come

There is a great sanctuary
Foremost of the earth
Whose great tower silvery white
Rises over all creation
There within dwell those
Who from before all things
Had a purpose chosen for them
From within them those as well
Does one come who claims
Not only to be one of them
But one over them all
A creature in the guise of a man
One too chosen for a purpose
To rend them all asunder
And cast them to the wind
The sanctuary will burn
And its glittering tower crumble
Yet it will be rebuilt
Not of stone, but in hearts
Until they are in one accord
The sanctuary will not be complete

The drowned keep
The bones below
Who they once were
I do not know
But I pray the seas
Do not recede
To reveal those bones
And their dark deeds

Down, down
Down below space
Where dark and light
Swirl and lace
Where suns and stars
Shiver at night
Those distant shadows
Eternally bright
There must watch
Frozen in time
Seasons without
Reason or rhyme
And there within
lie all that's lost
Things unknown
And unwanted tossed
To shiver in the abscence
Of warmth or cold
To lie suspended
With no one to hold
Until all things
In time there reside
When the world is gone
And the sun has died

Do not fight your enemy
If you can simply move around them

- Hadrian Veska

Three to come
And one to go
One to return
At end of snow
One to watch
To be a guide
One last to judge
All men in time

Walk this way
We cannot stay
From where we've come
So many days

The light does fade
That place we stayed
Once brilliant there
Now long decayed

Yet on we go
We do not know
What place we'll reach
Or seeds we'll sow
So ever onward
Will we go

Until the sun does set
Never to rise again

Rose gold rays illuminate the room
Struggling to pass through
The drawn curtains of the window
The room is old, not lived in for sometime
Only passed through in idle dreams
In that dull sweet twilight
Between day and night

There's a fireplace sits in the corner
Covered in thick dust and thin webs
The floor creaks ever so slightly
A hallway is visible
But where it leads is obscured

The gilded light retreats slowly
Almost imperceptibly so
Departing as it always has
That it may dawn yet again
As deep black clouds loom ever closer
Heralding a coming storm

I sit here between last light and darkness
An ever still moment outside of time
Rain will come as it always does
For now though I am content
In the moment that is

Here in this forgotten dream
Between the day and night

He lay there
An enervated mass
His legs feeble
Too weak to stand

An onlooker
Of his kingdom's fall
From hidden tower
He watched it burn

Helpless he mourned
Regretting his illness
Cursing his birth
And rebuking the sun

That sun now dim
So faint in the sky
That abandoned his line
So very long ago

The rivers are frozen
And have been for an age
She walks their lonely banks
Unaffected by the permafrost air
The world is rigid and brittle
Trapped in an endless winter
None are found that once were
Hibernating or passed on entirely
Beyond this glittering sterile realm
She sings a soft melody
Confidently carried
Across the rivers of ice
The frozen forests
And the quiet mountains
Blanketed in fresh snow
The song reaches no one
For there is no one
And nothing for it to reach
Yet she hopeful prays one day
It may perk the ears
Of an unlikely guest

Ever westward
Beyond hills and seas
Through vast forests
Of towering trees

Across great oceans
Yawning and deep
To northern coasts
Where cold waves sweep

Through storming tropics
And island chains
To the waving grasses
Of sun soaked plains

Over colossal mountains
Snow laden and grand
Until thus returned
To the shimmering sands

And when this journey
Is finally complete
With aching back
And calloused feet

Can all then rest
under a brave new sky
Where men no longer
Must one day die

I'll be here again with you
Soon and forever
For the Earth is ours
And always will be
Indeed we will walk
Together once more
Beneath a new sun
That will not set or fade

Colossus stone
On the ancient cliffs
Lone watchtower
Of the ocean mists

The tidal bastion
To safeguard and keep
The last light safe
From the yawning deep

The skies a seventh
Of the waters below
Greater seas in heaven
Yet to be known
Vast oceans buried
Beneath red sand
Long aeons ago
Our promised Land

Flower; petals
Bloom and fall
Let me see
I know naught at all
Let the world
Wash away
The waters flow
To distant bays
The sun burn bright
And fade away
The sky then dim
To black from grey
And let me rest
My soul to stay
The night to come
At end of day

Do you recall
The way it was before the fall
When the world was new
And the stars shone bright
Two lights to govern the day and night
Beneath the heavens
In the East thus made
A paradise with gold inlaid
To be the throne
That would carry the crown
All creation before bow down
That is, that was
And again it will be
Despite the fruit of that ancient tree
The fallen one
And our since fallen state
Yet one will come to change that fate
So hold out hope
Dear child remain true
For the one who saves has also saved you

Sun and Moon guide the way
Urban stars lead us astray
From the path rode in the day
And the one we walk at night

I know not much but I know true
When I was young and when I grew
Into the man my Father knew
Since before I was born

That no path I make is worth a ****
Can lead to any promised land
Our path is never what we planned
For that I thank the Lord

If I followed the paths I planned to make
A circle around a lonesome lake  
For no one else than my own sake
I would not have met my wife

I would not have grown and not have loved
No peace to me come from above
No guiding spirit, a snow white dove
To rest upon my shoulders

To light the path ahead

Now I have no plans, I simply do
What I know is right to do
I stumble yes, that is true
But I've learned to stumble forward

And stumbling is not so bad
When there's someone to pick you up

Meager roads
Naught but dirt and stone
Paths not tread
Since distant moans

Were howled from the cliffs above

Now the howling
From the wind in the brush
The bleached out bones
Of those who rushed

So swift to meet their ill fate

I will take my time
In reaching that place
That cardinal city
Of splendor and grace

I ponder if it still stands
For someone who has no where to go

A home is truly made
By wandering through the woods

Meandering and trodding

Stopping every so often

To gaze at a patch of moss
Lit by a narrow ray of sunlight

Scraping a finger across bark

Knocking on wood ands stone

Splashing and jumping along
A winding and narrow stream

To have a destination

Is to start your journey wrong

For all the most interesting things
Are not sought for or expected

They merely themselves wander

Until they too return home

The Fear of the Lord
Is the beginning of wisdom
Though few understand
What Fear truly means

To fear the Lord
Means to grasp with the truth
The might of God
And the splendor of his creation

To get a glimpse of the scale,
The love of our God
To respect and to honor him
As one would their Father

If only you knew
All the blessings promised
That by fearing the Lord
All your problems will fade

Fear the Lord
And mediate on his word
See with your own eyes
What it does for you

“And unto man he said, Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom; and to depart from evil is understanding.” Job 28:28

“The secret of the LORD is with them that fear him; and he will shew them his covenant.” Psalm 25:14

The fear of the LORD leads to life: and he that has it shall abide satisfied; he shall not be visited with evil.” Proverbs 19:23

“Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole of man.” Ecclesiastes 12:13

Ah, a red sun rises
On this the last of days
Fitting that a world
Bathed in blood
Should end drowned in it

I'd love to trust you
But I don't know how
Too many times I've trusted
Just to be let down
So forgive me Love
If I seek distant now
But in time I hope


I'll come around

Hot coffee
Rain streaming down glass
The sun is silent
Filtered by looming clouds
The lights outside are accentuated
By the dull grey sky
Yellows and reds
Come and pass endlessly
I haven’t opened my book yet
And I don’t think I will
No I think instead I will dream
After all what is a story
But someone else’s dream
Written down to share with others
This thought puts my mind at ease
I think instead I will dream
And share it only
With the one that I love

You've become too soft in your age;
Passion and purpose
Given way to complacency and acceptance.

"Surely", you say," all will be saved."
As you refuse to do your job
Of revealing salvation to those lost.

God was quick to disown the nations
Who disobeyed him,
How quick will he disown you?

One who has brought countless down,
Down with them to the depths
Of the ancient abyss.

all by refusing to carry out
The only task you have on this earth.

I have to go
Down to where
The darkness grows
Where ash and smoke
Billow to the sky
Where the moon weeps
Though none know why
The place where spirits
Aimlessly wander
Hoping for the return
Of their sons and daughters
And though to this place
I wish not to go
I know that I must
To one day show
That the soul may triumph
Over the growing dark
That great men return
From great quests embarked
So close your eyes
And when they open again
I will have returned
A braver man

I’ve seen the heavens below
In the waters calm and cool
The stars and planets I know
Reflected in springtime pools
But strange it would seem
On a cloudy night
That the stars would mirror
Their lack of light
A breeze blew gently
As I sat on that shore
Thinking to myself
That there must be more
So to test my theory
I waded into the stars
I walked past Venus
And in my hand held Mars
How strange is was
Perhaps is was late
But it felt in my hands
Like the stars had weight
As I leaned back
I began to float
Held by the stars
Like a celestial boat
There I did sleep
A great time and yet still
For to wake is to dream
And what’s dreamed is what’s real

Quol Del-Amonroth
Of mist and slumberstone
The stars guide me to you
Though you I've never known

And though you are but shadow
Your days of glory past,
I feel that if I find you
I'll claim what I now lack

So silver sun and blazing moon
Guide my feet that I may soon
Stand before those hallowed gates
Where once I stood in sleeping state

To enter in, for none have tried
Since long before the Earth had died
Now in that sleep beyond all death
Awake again that I might rest

Twisted and cavernous
Unlike any place should be
Distorted beyond memory
Whether in my mind or reality
I cannot for certain say

The place is as I recall it
The home of my youth
Though perhaps my recollection
Has been swayed by delusional dreams
Or visions of a reality I cannot see

Every night when I awake
I recognize far less of the world
Than when I had gone to bed
And when I sleep, I dream of memories
Memories I have never experienced  

I grow less and less sure
That the world I know
Both waking and dreaming
Are separated by much more
Than a thin fluttering veil

And I do not know
Which side of the veil
Is the side I have come from
And to which side of the cloth
Is the way I should go

Whispered words
Unsaid to me
Thoughts and desires
That none may see
Where are the roots
Of this growing tree
That I might pull them out
Instinct is pride
In my own will
Unaware of foes
That wish to ****
My strength comes not
From myself and still
I made the same mistakes
I know now that
I cannot entertain
I have to retreat
When there is no gain
My many sins
Are many stains
That I know can be made clean
If only my pride would be made lean

Who am I that I might know
What mystery might ebb and flow
Great wonders made to my eyes sealed
Things long lost to be revealed
Who am I what should I be
What weaknesses do others see
Surly none more than I myself
A detriment to my own health
I cannot alone myself make due
The world I've found is cruel too
Yet one through another clasped my hand
To lead me to the promised land
A grueling journey of great mistakes  
Weakness, loathing and sulfur lakes
Past that smoke in billows high
I open my eyes and face the sky
To a brighter vista than any before
A glittering pure and sun soaked shore
Where I might rest for a time and a half
To sing and sit and dance and laugh
Renew myself and stand once more

For the road goes ever on

Far distant capital
On the Ilmyuin slopes
Where once was held
The hopes and dreams of all
Where white towers rose
Grandiose spires to the clouds
Touching the very heavens
Bringing them closer to the earth
The pride of all mankind
But now who can say
What has become of the city
For it has not been seen
Since the great ice fell
Covering the northern realms
In shadow and snow
Perhaps one day
In distant times to come
The pure cobalt walls
Of that lost city
Will shimmer once again
Beneath the light of a resurgent sun

The hour is late
Just rest your weary head
Deep red to purple hues
In this the twilight hour
Fear not and close your eyes
Be at ease and drift to dreams
I will tend to you for now
As a low fire of twig and ember
Until the morning dawns
Be at peace

Where once was
All we know
Now all is dust
We have to show
Yet soon in time
Will green things grow
Flowers bloom  
And Waters flow
The world we had
We used to know
Will come again
Before we go

I walk at night
From where I came
To where I’ll go
I cannot say
Sometimes I feel lost
Without a home
A wandering soul
On the roam
I think of love
And who loves me
Who I am
And who I’ll be
When at last
I’ve figured out
What this thing
Called loves about

Coarse
Rough to the touch
I stare at the board
Waiting for someone to smooth it
While my hands sit idle

Oh, I've loved
And oh I've known
That I have died
And I have grown

Into something new

The tracks behind
And the way made clear
I know where to go
I have naught to fear

On this journey long

But oh my heart
And oh my head
They say it'd be better
If I was dead

But how little do they know

That the I, I was
Died long ago

Unknown
Cannot be shown
Will not reveal
What cannot be known

Glimpses in youth
Hands in the frame
Frozen in fear
Of what cannot be named

Black like smoke
Obscurely defined
Dreams and reality
Share a thin line

The leaves are reddish brown
The sun will soon go down
My love is here with me
Beneath the autumn trees

The air is spiced and chill
Of cider we’ve had our fill
I’d rather be no where but here
As we wait for the stars to appear

Constellations we do not know
We happily draw our own
Gazing into the cool night
We shudder of cold and delight

The time has come to retire
To leave and put out the fire
To crawl into our warm bed
Nothing desired left unsaid

Cuddling close in the sheets
My back feeling her cold feet
A laugh and a hug so close
A goodnight better than most

The fog descends from the heights
Engulfing all things
Sweetly and slowly
A thick mist rolls in
Never to be lifted
The world made evergreen
Obscured in contemplation
A tranquil mystery without suspense
The earth again made quiet
Though not for lack of thought
For all yet think and dream
At peace for they know each other well
No questions asked for all are understood
A blanketing contentment and peace
In a realm before unseen
That lies just above the head

The wastes are my home
Beneath a dying star
My family lies safe below
Of them I am no longer

In this way must it be
For hope to live
Beyond the coming night

Familiar yet foreign
Strange new forms
Repeat a set dance
That I've known since birth

Amid faint phosphorescence
Do they emerge each night
From the rocks and snowy crags
Of a solemn wispy mountain

Ever streaming downwards
Loose in their movements
Until they reach the forest pools
Where spring first arrives

Hear them gently now
Float upon unbroken waves
The inclinations
Of emotion not yet realized
They exist here
Outside of time
Sent forward or back
By unknown means
In the hopes
They they may find
One separated
By more than simple space

A hollow bell resonates
Over cliffs and ridges
Slick with an oily rain

Few remain to hear it
And those that do
Are wary of its toll

Nonetheless they answer
The call from that tower
Overlooking the sea

Though they know it not to be their doom
They suspect it in their hearts

Encased in ice
covered deep in snow
Tombs and chambers
In shadow below
Lying in wait
Or at least so it's said
To come in the night
those things that are dead
I know those stories
To frighten the young
But if only they knew
The darkness to come
The things that they fear
Pale to the sight
Of the undead creatures
Encased in the ice
Though they lie dormant
The ice will soon fall
And the curse spread once more
Dooming us all

Sink low
Do you know
Where the things
That once were go?

To what glimmering plane
Between dusk and dawn

Does the void mouth lie
In an eternal yawn

Swallowing whole
All that passes through

To the world they go
From the world we knew

Sing to me
A sweet song of grace
A melody of youth
From a calmer place

A sweeping orchestra
Or whispering voice
Whatever you wish
I’ll leave you the choice

Just sing to me now
For a time and times still
That I might rise up
My duty to fulfill