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Oh hagelslag,
You are my childhood joy!
You made being Dutch in a
Anglo-Saxon world a toy;
Chocolate and sprinkles
In one, such fun.
And when you melted
I spread you thick with my thumb!
The porch sags beneath me,
its gray boards sighing.
I light a cigarette,
send my breath to the wind-
maybe White‑Shell Woman
will carry it to the horizon.
He's fired again,
last kitchen inside forty miles
that could stand him,
bridge burned behind.

At lunch I’ll call,
say get out
or Daddy and Jimbo
will haul your whiskey bones
to lie with the rattlesnakes.

I swore to Mama and to Owl,
I will keep the night honest,
I wouldn’t spend my years
driving a man to dialysis,
watching Irish blood unravel
like wet lace.

But I remember the long Covid winter-
two bears in one den,
one soft, one starved-
when Spider Grandmother
wove us together
in the dim blue light
of tele-novellas and snow.
I almost believed
it was love again.

He pops up like a coyote
in the truck’s passenger door,
smelling of smoke and ruin.
Eighty‑five down the prairie road,
bug‑spattered glass,
sky bending blue,
fields gold as escape.

This isn’t working, I whisper.
We want different things.

Don’t, he says,
fingers crawling my thigh

No-
I shove.
Sweetness peels,
the sleeping volcano wakes.

Before his hand
can teach me the rest,
I already know:
there is no leaving.
The road is long,
lined with white crosses,
and Ghost Buffalo
has been leading me
down it all my life.
Dream it,
Plan it,
Do it
.
.
Marriage
If you are lucky,
Stay blessed,
If you are unlucky
Regret it.
19/7/2025
In miracles,
You don't know what will
happen in the next second,
Just swim in the sea of belief and faith,
And you will float on waves of miracles,
In life's illusion.
3/8/2025
That week was so hot,
every shotgun house gasped,
windows flung,
porch doors unlatched like unbuttoned shirts.

Touching skin felt like punishment
at first,
then penance,
then prayer.

We were thin, androgynous,
switching cut-off jeans,
sharing tank tops,
slick with sweat and shaved ice.

Strays ourselves,
barefoot thieves,
pirates of the quarter.

Hibiscus syrup stained our mouths
outside the Prytania,
where The Abyss flickered
and you cried like a boy
pretending he didn’t.

Inside your walk-up,
we dipped into quiet love
like bread in stew.

A dusty radio murmured The Ink Spots,
which I recognized but couldn’t name.
You mouthed every note like a secret
you wanted me to guess.

Faint smiling lines near your eyes
from knowing,
like you'd seen me
long before we met,
and were waiting
for the world to catch up.

Not woman,
not man,
just two bodies
leaning toward the same heat.

I wouldn't see your fall or your winter.
When the seasons change,
I’ll be gone,
back home,
watching rain from a train window,
each drop undoing what we were.

That last night,
you placed your key by the door.
I saw it,
watched it glint,
and said nothing.

The snails were climbing.
The air was too sweet.
You slept through goodbye.
I left the key where it lay.
Everyone swooned at the orange moon
Although it knew, it didn’t own, the glow
Yet shined for everyone alike
A celestial force, in the starry sky

As the night grew
The moon soared in the sky
It seemed to orbit with ease
The orange moon, at peace
For its glow, it owed to the sun

It didn’t mind changing attires
Through phases, thinning, gaining, losing the curves
but always admired and enjoyed the run
Orbiting around the sun
Its flaws camouflaged
Drunk, we walked west to the ocean,
drop soup and sake,
sloshing in our guts.

You would marry in twenty days.
I stayed close,
swallowing the words
that would’ve ruined it all.

In seven years,
I will have a son.
You will bury yours.
We will wonder - quietly -
if souls can be traded,
if grief moves
like a current
between blood that is not blood.

The tide was electric,
a woman waded in,
cupped bioluminescence
like an ember from the deep.

We stood apart from the others,
two men
bone-wet and wind-bit,
trying to scratch our names
into blue light,
signatures gone
before the next wave came.

I never told you the future.
I let the dark reclaim our feet.
You laughed,
drunk and perfect,
and I looked away
as the sea
turned the sand
back to stone.
You say
You feel
Dizzy when you
Kiss me
So do
I

Is it the slow dance of
Dopamine digging grooves
Between our bodies? Or
Is it the velvet hum of
Desire, lulling us to quiet?

Watch me, watching you
Can you see it? This is
Hunger, wanting taking shape.
(Anything more definitive,
And you will scare the birds off)

I like to burn slow but
You, dipped in Sun
Blessed by God
Looked so sweet beneath
Changing skies I couldn’t
Help but tilt
Towards your beams

Now tangled in
Your taste, I try
To decipher what
Lies beneath desire.
Edited and reposting. Feedback is welcome!
What if
I am forgotten
Accompanied with grief
Alone to live
Forsaken and berieved
What if

The song of a nightingale
Echo'd by the wind
And silence wraps around
My thoughts ever to keep
What if

Hold but only to believe
You might remember me
A little angel in Heaven above
Asked the Lord God Almighty
Pray tell:What is love??

God sat the little angel down
And draw him near
"Love is the offering
Of one's own life"

Thought the little angel in silence
And turned to the Lord
"What i am i will give
But say,
Is there more?

"Its is the total surrender
Its giving all your heart
Its the biggest of gifts
If you dare it to part
And its obedience to Love
Never questioning why
Its the promise of Life eternal
When your will will but die"

Stood up the little angel
And walked from the Lord
Will i ever be able
To fulfill this at all?

Said God to him
"Youve already done much
You love in return
You cannot do more"

So the little angel
Touched to the core
Went on his own way
Like so many days before

"Fòr Love is obedient
It is thankfull
Its All
If fulfilled in a life
Its the whole of
Gods Law"
///💜///
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