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gray rain Apr 2016
home is where I want to go
home the only place that I know
home the only place that I miss
home but I don't know where it is
gray rain Jul 2016
Home a place I had to find
Home will change over time
Home I will find and find again
Home is something that will always change
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1615731/home/ I
wrote Home on the 5th April 2016. Since then I've changed lot.
gray rain Aug 2016
How did I get here?
The wind, the blue sky, the clouds
The view of fields surround
But how did I get here?
Did I actually leave my house?
gray rain Apr 2016
You hate yourself the way you look
You take it out on me
You try and make me feel bad
About my body
I don't really care
I don't really loose
It's your opinion
You're entitled to your views
Just don't effect others
Who aren't as strong as me
Who's mindset is weaker
And has less stability
Just take your self hate out on me
I'll be your human punching bag
Even if you won't do that for me
gray rain May 2016
Hypnotised
by a system.
Drawn in
to become a victim.
controlled!
by the mind,
can't tap into the other side;
when hypnotised.
gray rain Apr 2016
I am fake
and that's all I've ever been
I realise that now, that I'm not who I seem

This name is fake but inside its me
My real name, isn't who I was made to be
may be one day people will see

I'm not perfect
inside I'm falling apart
I hope you see me before I depart

but until then
there is secrets I'll keep
you will know them
when you're ready to know me
I will reveal my actual name when people know who I am.
gray rain May 2016
the I goes after you
in you and I
just grammar
telling us
there's always someone
who will matter more
gray rain Apr 2016
My thoughts twist
When I'm about to speak
And my head changes what I want to say
It's like I'm scared
Of my thoughts
But I'm not
I want to say something
But I'm hiding in a shell
A shell of fear
A barrier
Between my head and heart
That with 3 words could be gone
I want to speak
But I can't
And it's killing me
gray rain Jul 2016
Sexuality is like colours
There is something between
Black and white
It's grey
I'm not in between somewhere, I just felt like writing this.
gray rain Jun 2016
If you fell
I would catch you
but I'm not strong
so we would fall together.
gray rain Jul 2016
I can deal with people (well a small amount)
I confuse most without a doubt.
Some don't understand their ignorance is what makes us divided
because whilst I try to be enlightened they don't realise nothing's one sided.
Whilst some are not bigots or prejudice in any way
they never seem to understand so agree with what you say.
Their ignorance is ineffable, inevitable and ineluctable
however, could change although improbable.
Understanding people's identity and lifestyle should be taught to us
then no one would be beat down for who they are, on the bus.
I know so many ignorant people which is often why I am seen as antisocial because I hate having conversions with people who don't understand what they do or don't accept.
gray rain Aug 2016
Today is the day I leave
'cause there's so much more to see
The sun? The fields, the trees
Or that's what I believe

Hopefully the sun is there
But I'm not one to care
'cause as pale as I am
The sun doesn't have to share
Its rays

And the fields and trees
Are just things that are green
Although I've never seen
That's what I believe
I'm going camping for a week so will try post something but I might not be able to.
As much as I say I don't go outside I do.
gray rain Jun 2016
I had a dream...

that Donald Trump was dead
and he had a Coffin with the union flag
and his face on it.

It was a dream but I actually thought it was real.
This is true I don't know why the British flag was there but it was
gray rain Jul 2016
Is it possible to feel something so much that you feel nothing?
I'm confused,  really confused.
Or overwhelmed by all this
by the last few days
and what made sense now doesn't
and what doesn't make sence now doesn't
I'm confused,  really confused.
I don't know what to do
I don't know what to say
when people ask what's wrong
because I don't know if it's real.
It doesn't seem real.
it did when I was crying
before it happened
but I didn't see it
so am struggling to believe it
to realise that you're gone.
My head cannot accept that they're dead
gray rain Apr 2016
Its in your head
what you said
your made up fantacy
it's not reality
but that's your world
with your imaginary girl
I wrote this for one of my friends.
gray rain Jun 2016
overgrowing passion
overlooking thought
impulsive decision
the effects are distraught
gray rain Jul 2016
Sleep isn't happening
Not tonight at least
I tried my hardest
But but my eyelids don't fall.

Bring me the horizon
Playing in the background
But I'm not listening
And my eyelids won't close at all.

Instagram I'm still getting likes
I don't know how I drew a tree
Because it's all I can draw
And I wanted too

So I'm not going to sleep tonight
It's just not happening
I want to sleep 'cause I'm bored
And don't have anything to do
But I can't
gray rain Aug 2016
It could be one of two definitions
but either would be ok.
Ink
gray rain Jul 2016
Ink
Ink is like an incurable virus
once it reaches the paper
there is way to remove it.
gray rain Apr 2016
I'm under so much pressure
my mind is starting to melt
my heart is running dry
to these new feelings that I felt
my knowledge starting to empty
in a vacuum called my life
my heart is still pumping
but I no longer know why
gray rain Apr 2016
I don't want to fight any more.
I don't see the point of this internal war
I have with myself
When I know the way I've felt
I sick of this mental barrier
and my tongue not being a carrier
of my words.
Like the birds,
I wish I was free
It could happen, I'll see
on that day
when I can say
the words I've been longing to say
gray rain Jun 2016
Dark streets unlit
lampposts don't hang
but the light
is dead.
gray rain Apr 2016
I'm insecure
just like you
I try not to show it
but you do

I feel the pressure
if not more than you
you're innocent minded
and mine is like a zoo

I have too much control
you speak your mind
you're confident
something I'm trying to find

I understand
you don't
I have your issues
plus my own
This is a comparison between my friend and I.
gray rain Apr 2016
Burning my life down to the ground
there should be screams but there is no sound
no path to follow
only dreams that are hollow
unprepared for life ahead
or at least that is what was said
when I am unable to cope with the pressure
I will take the extra measure
to try and forget
but sadly it's not over yet
gray rain Apr 2016
Put gasoline on my dreams
enough to make me want to scream
light my heart, set it aflame
but I will never feel the shame,
the hate you think I'm under
for what, that I wonder
gray rain Jul 2016
Pieces of our hearts
fit together like a
jigsaw puzzle;
each piece fitting
uniquely to us.
yet somehow
someone managed
to break us appart.
gray rain Jul 2016
I don't know what to write today
Nothing was different so I have nothing to say
I nearly fell asleep in lesson, what does that teach?
maths lectures are boring, I don't want to hear someone preach.
We may have a band name as original as it sounds!
It's a generic name for a band yet to be found.
Science had less stories without my friend next to me
no catchup about the weekend and who we got to meet.
English was just researching any topic of my choice
I chose 'nationalism is bad' to make a speach, so people have to hear my voice.
In history was the usual ****
the teacher talks we write and watch a video clip.
So today was just a boring day
I just hope tomorrow is less grey.
gray rain May 2016
Silent screams
come from
every student
as the lack of noise
kills creativity
gray rain Jun 2016
Kinda ironic
I write poems and find myself
writing about how much I hate English.
I don't want to read
Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde again
or analyse a play!

No matter how interesting.
The themes are the the themes
and the characters the story tellers
but to me it's just words
No link in my head.
Every sentence is read.
Then the next,
makes no sense.
It all seems out of context
but no one realises
I don't know what the ****
the teacher goes on and on about,
it goes over my head.
I can't explain my ideas
because I can't make them myself
and I can't understand where anyone else's are from.
So I lead my self on a tangent,
that could go on and on repeating itself
that could go on and on repeating itself
that could go on and on repeating itself
but will never come back to the beginning.
Writing aimlessly
but no one seems to see;
it's all nonsense to me.
Kinda ironic.
As weird as it sounds English is my worst subject at school.
gray rain May 2016
You're the knife stabbing me
I'm the one holding it
gray rain Aug 2016
It's less than twelve hours until school and my homework isn't done
I would say shoot me but it's England so I don't have a gun.
Give me another three days to get myself together
then I'll go into school's eternity (it feels like forever).
It'll be a Saturday and that's fine with me
'cause the rest of the week off would let me get my homework done so I could start year 11 stress free.
I've been doing homework for 2 days literally what the **** is my life.
gray rain May 2016
You put your hand out for me
and tried to pull me through.

I tried to reach but my grip was weak
and I let go of you.
gray rain Apr 2016
If you're letting go
leave
you don't need me

If you're letting go
I won't stop you
not that you want me to

if you're letting go
go
You've been stuck waiting here too long
gray rain Apr 2016
So my life's a mess
I guess
I don't even know
who are friends
Or who are foe
I'll have to make mends
so I can carry on
or soon I will be gone
I don't know what I'm doing
in this race of life, I'm loosing
slowly sinking a ship
with my name on it
loosing this battle to my mind
I just wish my mind could be kind
and I could control how I feel
and my life will no longer be a blur
but be real
gray rain May 2016
You were a light in the dark
but you had to depart
now I'm alone
wishing you'd come home
before the house is attacked
and you can't bring the light back
gray rain Apr 2016
I'm stuck listening
to my head
telling me what to do
I want to follow my heart
but my head tells me not to
I want to fall so deep in love
where my head can no longer reach
where I no longer care what anyone thinks
where I no longer care what my head thinks
I want to fall so deep in love
where I get washed up by the sea
where it is only you and me
where my head cannot follow me
gray rain Jun 2016
El logro no es importante sí no lo disfruto. Hago algo porque lo disfruto no para ganar.

I should probably stop doing Spanish if I don't enjoy it. There's no point doing something I don't enjoy.

_________________
Trans­lation
Achievement is not important if you don't enjoy it. I do something to enjoy it not to win.
This is one of the answers to a question on my speaking assesment but 'algo' was 'deportes' which means sport. I don't know why I dislike Spanish so much but I do. There is now two days left and writing about it help me learn.
gray rain May 2016
Go with the flow
live your life slow
watch people grow

time not t' waste
set a pace
not with haste

or urgency
it's not an emergency
life will last

watch people around
help them to be free
and lead them on this journey

**just by living free
gray rain May 2016
The streets
The latest landfill site
created by us
to ruin us
gray rain May 2016
She looks into my eyes
but I look away.
I know they're full of lies
and I don't want more pain.
gray rain May 2016
I'm loosing blood
to this machine
it's ripping me apart
soon I'll be empty
It drains me dry
and I've lost my mind
It drains me dry
'til there's nothing inside
Not the best
but it's 7am
gray rain Aug 2016
The more I try to find myself

The                                              More



                    Lost  
                                                              I
Seem                            
                                               To


                                  Be.
gray rain May 2016
I'm lost
when I find myself
I'll come back for you
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