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 Jul 2016 gray rain
Little Bear
Hey Johnny where are you now?
You left, and never came back, just like you said you would.
And now i have heard that you died, my Darling.

You were always my Darling, and i was always your 'little bit of fluff'
And if what they say is true, i know you'd be ****** as all hell if you ended up in heaven, because hell was always more your style.

But i do hope, if you are in heaven, that it's a heaven made just for you.
I reckon they would have a jukebox that only played Kansas and the Eagles, beautiful women and had Stella and black on  tap.
Oh and a GPZ1100, with no speed limit..
And you know what i mean by that.. you little ****.
You'd be in heaven.. oh the irony

You were the first person i told that i like girls too.
I told you i love their softness, there beauty, their curves, their taste,
the way they taste like me, feel like me, are soft like me and that i had *** while watching a video on MTV with girls singing in the swimming pool.
You said you needed a minute to think about things...
for a very long time.. in the bathroom... on your own..

Your tattoos were beautiful, covering you from head to toe.
My favorite one was the pirate that your friend Pervy Pete did
while he was baked, it was meant to be Long John Silver, but it looked like your Nan.

You gave me my first snakebite and took me to my first gig.
Wembley... Metallica.. ****** out of my head..
Best night ever..
probably.

I taught you how to crochet and you let me paint your toenails..
only the once. And you taught me how to whistle with my fingers.
In the end you told me to shut the **** up, because any minute now a whole **** heard of sheep dogs are going to come running over the hill, and **** us both.

I held your spanners, sat on a crate and had fork oil, all over my summer dress. You said it was a good look on me and i told you that you were beautiful. You smelt of sweat and juniper oil and i could have *** from that smell alone.

Your eyes were the same brown as mine, you used to put your face so close to mine so i could see myself in your eyes. I only wish you could have seen yourself through mine.

If we had ever been together, i would have wanted to have saved you.
And i would have too.
But you didn't want to be saved.
I would have spent my whole life trying. You said you would have hated yourself, to have been the one to have killed me like that.

In my heart we will always be. I knew you loved me because, while i slept in your arms on the way back from the Bulldog Fest, you whispered it to me.

Good bye and sweet dreams my tattooed greasy biker.. my Darling.

I'm grateful you never found out about the life i had without you.
You would have killed him.
When the sun goes down
we need a light
so we burn our bridges down

And holding each other tight in fright
We know we cannot go back
because all our bridges are down

. . . . the sun has gone down
but a full moon of love is rising
we will see our way forward

I won't look back if you won't
there is no turning back
are you with me ?

The bridge burning away to yesterday
too hot to hang onto . . . ouch !
Let it go for today
 Jul 2016 gray rain
Paragon
You said you can't because you don't feel the same
But you don't have to feel the same!
Actually, don't even care about me!

Just use me,
Use me to satisfy your desires
Use me to fill your needs
Use me like a piece of cloth
Use me to wipe your tears
Use me to dry your blood
Use me to clean your dirt

Then just throw me away
Or break me into pieces

It doesn't matter as long as I get to touch you again
 Jul 2016 gray rain
Nat Lipstadt
<>

for the early morning teach

<>

she's young, beautiful and thinks her life is cursed,
in the past, subject of some of my poems, her health to nurse,
yet, as is normative, you fall into & out of a well of touch,
until you accidentally once again path cross,
she provides a precision mathematical status update

"i'm fairly certain things are like at least 38% worse."

it is 1:38AM for you,
the not unnoticed ironic minute and hour
when the night ether has prematurely worn off,
rising time close but not nearly close enough,
a dark dose of a sleeping nurse's aide seems inappropriate,
and TV reruns seem like an insult to your brain

instead you turn on some belle string musique,
a Grande Messe des Morts,
a chorus,
singing a high mass for the dead,
while opening all your various email luggage and baggage,
smiling as you read a poetess's message of
laughter behind tears

"i'm fairly certain things are like at least 38% worse."

and Mississippi ******,
your uncontrollable mixed drink of her emotional
Grenada grenade cocktail,
flavored with musique, paintings, and words and a nearby beloved's
gentling sleep sounds,
has you writing your own protest poem,
your very own,
oy vey, grande messe,
about lives that were supposed to be
pictures of perfect artistry
and for but a word or two,
instead, a painting of a life that got hung upside down,
and indeed,
leaving a grand mess and no one to help clean up


alternatively weeping, laughing as you are thinking,
smiling recall
Laurel and Hardy's summary definition
of living a life's of ill begotten, misventured adventures:

"Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into !"

but 38% worse?

not an even-steven rounded up 40%,

should I write you only 38% of a poem, teach?
or more accurately, more mathematically,
138% of what was writ before?

and you recall your older, prior words
about the love hate affair between
you poet,
and the beauty of written brevity
(her style)

and you give her this then,
this rambling, scrambled, attention paid notification,
word attentiveness, a summary of your readings
of her cheddar sharp and honey mustard sweet retorts of
pained poetry,

it is insufficiently but perfectly sufficient,
a summarizing phrase that opens
and yet
briefly encapsulates all that
you are feeling for her

"thinking of you"

or the 38% larger version thereof -


*"Well, here's another 38% more
nice poetic mess
you've gotten me into!"
2:44 AM,
of course
foolish young prince
wrapped up in your fairytale
not every story has a
happy ending
and yours, oh yours
it’s got magic, and knights,
and it’s even got a kiss
ah, the stuff of dreams
you’d forever miss
but witches can curse
and knights wield swords
and to make matters worse
it’s not a princess you want
you foolish young prince
stuck inside your bubble
in love with a king
looking for trouble
oh, what a twist
the princess is crying
the witches are cursing
the knights, they’re after you
foolish young prince
learn to hide your desire
they don’t like what’s different
it’s copies they admire
guess your happily ever after
ended in disaster
and afterall
even mighty princes
fall
off their white horses
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