I'm a lot gayer than originally planned.
*******. Gay.
But I'm worried about the concept;
not sure if it's right to use the word
“gay”
when (I'm sorry I said it)
I'm really bisexual,
just particularly into women right now.
Like,
is that bad representation
of my sexuality?
Only encouraging
bi-erasure?
It just doesn't have the same
“umph”
to say
I'm feeling particularly
bisexual today.
But I've been telling myself
over and over
that it's okay,
no matter what
I'm feeling today.
I don't
need
your
box

anymore.

Don't wear the white skirts
The white underwear
The white dress
The white pants
Unless you want red splotches
Oh you, want to look cute today
You aren't expecting me for another week
Here, let me ruin this for you
*****, you wanna go?
Okay, who has the ****** pills?
...the what...?
Ibuprofen!
****** just hand it over
And the blood just keeps flowing
Also, how the **** did someone determine
The average of
1 teaspoon of blood loss per month
Actually, I don't wanna know
So sorry I forgot to get pregnant
Now Mother Nature has to be a ****
Oh wait, that's what's causing this pain
.
.
.
******* girl problems

When I was able to feel the pain
I went not to my mother.
My mother betrayed me.
Not my father,
My father left me.
I retreat to music.
I bury my scars and bruises in music notes.
I wait for that beat to drop,
In order to raise my heart back up.
This music numbs my pain.
I feel safe in my music,
Grab a pair of headphones before a gun
In a **** zombie apocalypse.
I am going to drown out the hurtful words,
In a tub full of lyrics.
Music,
Heres to you,
For saving my life,
More than anything ever should have to.
Safety,
If you’re lucky
Will be found.
But my safety is the drums
And the guitar.
A song for every occasion,
The rain even has a beat,
Drumming but no rhythm.

You were my perfect poem
Brief but of many lessons
Our life was the perfect paradox
For love I thought we could rhyme

You hated all I ever loved,I loved all you hated
You said dirt was clean and the sun was cold
You desired tears for years
And resisted all advances of happiness

All you hated I had to forsake
For our love was at stake
But like a toddler you had fun with my feelings
Leaving our blindest love in darkness reeling

Yet my greatest victory was losing you
My severest pain was my sweetest gain
You schooled me through experience
My all-time worst teacher

You were my perfect poem
Eternity would be short to describe the undescribable
For when my hand is strong to hold the pen
Then my heart is weak to pen the words