If you could let me in?
Not just in your mind,
But in your heart?
That would be enough.

I just thought of a good quote to post
But I forgot what it was.
Sorry.

I've always liked the moon better than the sun.
I've always painted in black, not in colour.
I've always been a little hidden, never fully exposed.
I've always written, never said.
I've always been afraid of the monster under the bed.

Fifty-one lines exactly,
Counted on my arm,
As always.
Kind of ironic,
Since I was clean.
For fifty-*******-one days.

I'm not scared of death,
I'm afraid of what happens after.

Me: *Has a test tmorrow that I still have to study and homework for 6 subjects that I still have to do.

Also me: *Decides to watch an entire DEH bootleg at 22:45

And then we're wondering why my grades are so bad

I won't ask,
I already know.
I love to talk to you,
But not about this trauma though.

I was a sinner
And made you my saint

Out of breath and so in love
It surprised me you didn't faint

Your body on top of mine
While outside it rained

For those few delicious, blissfull minutes
All our pain was drained.

That's the good thing.

I find comfort in my poems
Always carrying them around
I find shelter in your smile
The rest of the day untouchable
I find love in these words
Even the ones you tell me everyday
I find sadness in your eyes
Hidden by beautiful laughter,
So vunerable and pretty
But why don't you tell me
What is going on behind it
Because we never tell anyone
Simple as that

If you're looking for a reason not to **** yourself tonight, this can be it.

Sometimes, we feel as if nothing matters.
We all do.
So i made a list of a few of my own reasons,
13 Reasons Why
I'm still alive.
And hopefully you'll change your mind.
Those moments you feel happy, and nothing but lucky.
And you wish nothing will ever change.
I will try my best.

Reason 10, The faded memories of a long remembered time.
These things are getting darker every time. So do I. Wishing This wouldn't be just the past, faded memories of times we want to remember. But I can't. These moments may have destroyed me, I still want to remember. Who I was, what drove me into this, and who I never want to become again. These memories are fading, my life is turning into a perfect one. I'm slowly suffocating. Why won't you let me be imperfect, And accept my past. We were young, And all we had was a city. But I don't mind. Will you please let me go back to the times love still existed here, The thoughts of getting out. You can let me go for once, And we'll still be okay.

If you're looking for a reason not to **** yourself tonight, this can be it.

Sometimes, we feel as if nothing matters.
We all do.
So i made a list of a few of my own reasons,
13 Reasons Why
I'm still alive.
And hopefully you'll change your mind.
Those moments you feel happy, and nothing but lucky.
And you wish nothing will ever change.
I will try my best.

Reason 7, The call of satan.
Are you okay? I can see you. I can see the tears in your eyes. I can see your face turning red. I can see the anger, I can see the need for help. Why do we hide it? Why do we push each other away? I love you, Can't you see? The silent call of satan takes my will to live away. Singing to the devil together, feeling Bohemian Rhapsody. The thoughts are leaking out of me right on the paper, so is my blood. The silent call of satan took my will to live away.

S O C I A L

A   N X     I E           T               Y

If you're looking for a reason not to **** yourself tonight, this can be it.

Sometimes, we feel as if nothing matters.
We all do.
So i made a list of a few of my own reasons,
13 Reasons Why
I'm still alive.
And hopefully you'll change your mind.
Those moments you feel happy, and nothing but lucky.
And you wish nothing will ever change.
I will try my best.

Reason 8, Broken mirror
No one will ever make sure the clock stops ticking.
No one will ever keep a poem as one of their dearest possesions.
No one will ever leave the pages blank if they have words to fill it with.
No one will ever keep an extinguished cigarette in their package.
No one will ever stop being afraid of the dark, so we turn into the dark ourselves.
No one will ever keep an empty bottle of alcohol in their drawers.
No one will ever stop cutting themselves when they realise they shouldn't.
No one will ever keep the light on if they can choose to close their eyes.
No one will ever love without wondering why.
No one will ever keep a broken mirror in their pockets.
Or would you?

Thinking about you
OwO

It's not because of my eyes that the world is blurry,
My mind is always a little bit behind.

You made me feel everything,
And nothing at once.

That wich is lifeless,
May hide behind a shade of certainty.
Thus the tiger masks its barbarity,
With the beauty on its body.

~ Sombro

If you're looking for a reason not to **** yourself tonight, this can be it.

Sometimes, we feel as if nothing matters.
We all do.
So i made a list of a few of my own reasons,
13 Reasons Why
I'm still alive.
And hopefully you'll change your mind.
Those moments you feel happy, and nothing but lucky.
And you wish nothing will ever change.
I will try my best.

Reason 11, Hostage.
Surprisingly.
It's really not like me to be so mean,
You're all I wanted.
Nature changes,
You left my mind.
And someone else entered it.
I don't know what feels true.
But this feels right,
So stay a sec.
Yea you feel right,
So stay a sec.
And let me crawl inside your veins.
I'll build a wall, give you a ball and chain.
Hold and hidden,
By my own hostage.
Kiss me until I can't speak.
Let me listen to your voice.
And let me drown in your words.
Want to be the one,
To speak her name as mine.
Changing sentences into the same.
Hold and hidden,
By my own hostage.

So my brain thought of another stupid thing;  "You don't deserve to hurt this way. You don't deserve to hurt at all. So please, let me in. I will help protect you from yourself. You've been there so many times, I don't want you to fall." And it's true. I don't know if I will be able to fix you with poetry and stupid nursery rhymes, but I will try. I don't think I'll be able to fix you at all. Maybe I am, who knows? I'll always try. Will you just let me in? Not only in your mind, not only in your words, but in your heart? I want to help you with every bit that I can. And, I get that's not enough. My words will never be enough. But, I will try. So please give me the chance to? That would be enough. Whatever horrible things it are that you're feeling, I will try to understand them. To understand them, and to help you get them away. Because you don't deserve to feel bad. You don't and you never did. And I get that my words will never be good enough to live up to your expectations, but please, please. Will you give me a chance? I love you, I really do. So let me help you, let me in. It doesn't have to be soon, it doesn't have to go fast. But remember that whenever you need me, I'll be there waiting. Waiting with all my words. To make you feelbetter, even in the slightest way.

Fingertips frozen,
Arms up my sleeve.
But I have to write this idea down.
My hands are already filled with ink.
Everything has to be gold these days.
Golden chain, Golden eyes, Golden soul, Golden ring.
Still want to be the one to speak her name as mine though.
It's cold outside,
But I'm colder.
You poor thing.

Somehow,
After all these days,
I still don't remember.
Where did you go?
Where did I leave you?
When you walk out that door,
Leaving me torn,
You're teaching me to live without it.
But still we wonder.
When we all fall asleep,
Where do we go?

If there was one thing I could wish for,
Just one thing, for a day.
I'd wish a thousand million seconds,
So you could always stay

I'd wish with you for just one night,
To watch the sunset in those perfect eyes.
Watch the skies turn paint white, pink and yellow,
Just kiss me, and the time flies.

Hold my hand,
And stare with me into the abyss.
I'll hold you back if you let go,
We both wonder how far down it is.

The sun sparkles on your face,
As your head rests on my thighs.
And I know I'll always have your love,
Under some very cloudy skies.

I have so many tests to study for,
Yet I'm sitting here, wishing to die.
I have so many things to do,
But all I do is mentally cry.

Solo - Clean Bandit

This solo, solo, everybody
This solo, everybody
This solo, solo, everybody
I never meant to leave you hurtin'
I never meant to do the worst thing
Not to you (this solo, solo, everybody)
'Cause every time I read your message
I wish I wasn't one of your exes
Now I'm the fool (this solo, solo, everybody)
Since you been gone
I've been dancing on my own
There's boys up in my zone
But they can't turn me on
'Cause baby, you're the only one I'm coming for
I can't take no more, no more, no more
I wanna f-woop, woop woop, but I'm broken hearted
Cr-cr-cry but I like to party
T-t-touch but I got nobody
Here on my own
I wanna f-woop, woop woop, but I'm broken hearted
Cr-cr-cry since the day we parted
T-t-touch but I got nobody
So I do it solo
This solo, solo, everybody
This solo, everybody
This solo, solo, everybody
So I do it solo
This solo, solo, everybody
This solo, everybody
This solo, solo, everybody
I do it solo
Every single night I lose it
I can't even hear the music without you (it solo, solo, everybody)
Ah, yeah, yeah
Try to stop myself from calling
But I really wanna know if you're with someone new (it solo, solo, everybody)
Since you been gone
I've been dancing on my own
There's boys up in my zone
But they can't turn me on
'Cause baby, you're the only one I'm coming for
I can't take no more, no more, no more
I wanna f-woop, woop woop, but I'm broken hearted
Cr-cr-cry but I like to party
T-t-touch but I got nobody
Here on my own
I wanna f-woop, woop woop, but I'm broken hearted
Cr-cr-cry since the day we parted
T-t-touch but I got nobody
So I do it solo
This solo, solo, everybody
This solo, everybody
This solo, solo, everybody
I do it solo
This solo, solo, everybody
This solo, everybody
This solo, solo, everybody
So do it solo
Can't do it solo
I wanna f-woop, woop woop, but I'm broken hearted
Cr-cr-cry but I like to party
T-t-touch but I got nobody
Here on my own (here on my own)
I wanna f-woop, woop woop, but I'm broken hearted
Cr-cr-cry since the day we parted
T-t-touch but I got nobody
So I do it solo
This solo, solo, everybody
This solo, everybody
This solo, solo, everybody
I do it solo
This solo, solo, everybody
This solo, everybody
This solo, solo, everybody
I do it solo
So I do it solo

I can't think of a poem to post today so here's a vine compilation because we're emo here.

https://youtu.be/AfaPJZ0n66k

I love y'all

I did it again...

Hey. Our philosophy teacher gave us an assignment about something with luck and hapiness, so I'm writing to you again. (Not that there's a difference) I love you. You make me one of the happiest people in the world. And, I'm really glad that you are in my life. I really hope you feel the same thing. You make my heart skip a few beats whenever I see one of your texts popping up on my screen. You manage to make me smile at any hour of the day. You light up the world when it's too dark for me to see. You make me so happy. In a  that no one else does. You make me smile in such a manner that people sometimes ask what the cause is of this 'happening.' You're just, everything? You're beautiful, by the way. I'm gonna tell you until you believe me. Because you really are beautiful. People always say that you look better when you laugh, but you don't even need to smile. Not that I don't want you to smile- You smiling is one of the best things in the world to me. I don't really know how to explain.
I'm wondering why I keep writing everything down. We don't live in the 17th century anymore. Ah well, not that it matters.
Sometimes I'm also wondering if you think about me a lot. If you ever do to be honest. But mostly, what you think in those cases. It's not really a bother, but it pops up in my mind at times. When I say this, I think that you must also know that I think about you a lot. Whenever I see a poem (Which I do, a lot) that reminds me of you or something, I get a little distracted from whatever I was doing. But, in a good way. I think. Can it ever be bad to think about someone a lot? It probably just shows how much you care, which I also do, a lot. I do really care about you. You're an amazing human being and I love you. It always surprises me how fast I can fill a page whenever I write something for, or about you. Well, it's not really 'surprising' me. More like 'reminder of how much I'm in love with you.' Welp. It's a good thing though, probably. I mean, I'm just writing stuff. It's not like I'm bothering anyone. (I hope?) And it just keeps getting better. You make my life a little better every day. So, thank you. Really. I'm so happy you're here. (You're adorable by the way) And hopefully, it will stay like this for a little while.
Sincerely, Me

This is my 500th poem here.
I really am a hopeless romantic.

Poetry tells a story.
But what if the poem,
Turns into the story?

< >

It's the last day of school today.
I saw you walking in the hallway,
And you gave me a quick kiss.
The world really doesn't like us together,
Does it?
But I now know what I want this year,
The only christmas present I'll need.
I think I'll wish for you this time,
And pray that the world will let you keep being mine.

To all my active followers:
Thank you so much for being here,
And just existing in general.
If you're an active follower of mine,
I'll recognise your username,
And/or your profile icon.
It makes me happy to see you liked a poem,
Or commented something funny, or comforting.
It makes me happy to realise, and think about the fact that there are people out there, god knows where, that enjoy reading my writings.
And that there are people out there, god knows who, that will always listen if there's something off.
I love you all, and please, please take good care of yourselves.
Bye :) <3

100 followers, and this is my 300th poem!
Thank you guys so much <3
I love y'all :)

Why can't i just sleep without dreams
And not dream about you for a night
I don't want to die
Nor do we want to live
Live for those scarse seconds
Of absolute happiness
But I feel nothing
And When This feels
I feel you
And i'm still not supposed to

WAVING THOUGH A WINDOWWWW