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 Sep 2014 GloriaEllah
Simran
and when your grip tightened around my waist
the urgency of your mouth to capture my taste
from that moment i knew i was done
completely and totally
unfathomably yours
Once I offered you my heart, knowing it was too bruised, too ugly to meld with your imperfect soul. You looked at it with eyes that spoke of dark horizons less travelled and handed it back with trembling caution, too mindful of the searing pain caused by it's many shards. I loved you then, as I do now, though the mention of such things is forbidden within our tight circle of two. I fear your loss as I fear myself, fully and without caution, though now only your traces remain as friendship flounders upon the utterances of my foolish mouth.
He used to drink orange juice
out of cups that curved,
like his smile used to,
licking droplets of orange sun
off of his lips;
sun beams,
that shined from his face,
and his eyes,
which was unfair
because he knew;
I'm telling you,
he knew,
that summer was my favorite time of year.
And when the sun hit me,
like a thousand arrows,
from the bow of Heartbreak,
that I would think of him
and his orange juice cup.
And question all the reseons he sent me letters
with different stamps,
always scribbled in black lines,
like his pupils,
when I let him see through the jail bars of my soul,
and I asked him,
no,
I begged him to leave me cuffed to the wall,
with no food or water,
starving my desire to love again,
knowing that if I devoured every word,
every sound,
and memory,
of trembling hands on first dates,
leaning in to kiss me,
with lips and fists at the nape of my neck,
clinging to me like feathers;
with every single intake of breath,
and caterpillars that wrapped themselves in silk,
and waited for days and nights to pass,
until finally,
they spread their wings to reveal Picasso's paintings,
that I would eventually die of starvation,
as the words ran out,
and the kisses became short,
and the butterflies died...
He knew.
He knew that I loved summer;
and the drops of orange juice on his lips.
I want your insecurities to roll of your shoulders
like rain drops.
Catching them in my hands,
like marbles,
putting them in a soft leather bag,
tucking them in my pocket.
I crave to walk into space with you,
to play on the moon in big klunky space suits,
with moon dust floating up from our feet
like whispers ,
coating our lips so that they become part of our smiles.
I want to take you back to your childhood.
To days filled with sunscreen smell,
first pets,
overly large parkas,
and muddy rain boots.
To the times before you tried to keep up with societies idea of how you're supposed to live.
Before the first few times you were hurt,
finally beginning to build your walls high,
like a fortress.
I want to commit arson,
intentionally burn it down, no matter what the cost.
So I can peer through the wood smoke and see the center of your kingdom,
where you hide your rain drop marbles and your moon dust secrets.
I know it's incredibly selfish for me to write your name with black stones in the salt fields of Nevada  without you ever knowing about it,
and then expecting you to open up your chest,
not your wooden box,
no,
your chest.
Where your heart lies,
and your lungs.
To open up your chest and show me the words scribbled all along your bodies walls.
It's not fair for me to expect it,
especially without telling you that if you did,
I fully intend on kissing them all until they are worn down and faded from your flesh where they float down to your feet like yellow feathers.
It's not fair,
but I'm tired of feeling you fade away,
or get annoyed when you  change to fit in with the people around you.
Why would you change, darling?
When you're so imperfectly perfect.
I have never written a single poem
that my lovers could understand.

In truth, all my romantic verse is simple,
self-congratulatory applause

for not falling victim
to the virus of sentiment.


I am a gifted liar.
Even Hemingway was soft...
We chased storms along decks of love notes,
Capturing the exhales of midnight sighs.
She painted my chest of hidden treasures
With lips kept prisoner by the tides.
We were a beautifully crafted shipwreck,
navigating our bodies to collide
and it sinks my heart to see her
sailing alone,
my pirate wife.
just a bit of a draft
I want to print out my poetry and paste it on the walls
Let them scream my emotions
In swirling patterns of fading text

I want to rip off the ceiling and sleep under the stars
Watch them glow like I’ve always wanted to glow
In a sea of midnight blue

I want to lie in damp grass and watch the clouds passing by
Fleeing across the sky while it catches on fire
In the most outrageous of ways

I want the music in my ears to be drowned out and silenced
By the music radiating from my soul
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