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 Jul 2019 sophie
livianna
i wonder if i dont seem complex,
if i am the definition of the mold,
if i can no longer be seen as moss and just become the wallpaper.
i wonder if that will keep others glance off of me.
i wonder if i become the definition of boring,
could I finally exist as one being.
and be content with the fact that i exist.
 Jul 2019 sophie
pixels
faith.
 Jul 2019 sophie
pixels
You praise me like you’re preaching gospel and I’m terrified that someday you’ll convert to another religion.
Marriage is wonderful, but being second-best all your life has a tendency to make insecurity a bad habit.
 Jul 2019 sophie
livianna
lugubrious
 Jul 2019 sophie
livianna
sometimes,
I wonder if I am lugubrious.
I wonder if my own self-hatred
shows to the surface,
eating away at my flesh
and finding its home
it's weight,
pulling down my bones.
I have a fascination for words found after hours of looking through the thesaurus.
if the ocean would carry me
it'll collapse under the weight of my bones
made with cement and steel
and the burden each brick owns

witness the waves howler and scream
just like the heart caged in my chest
blood bubbling around the muscle
surging with every beat and protest

the bottom of the sea may be quiet
like my tongue folded neatly in my mouth
though feral beasts deep within
choke with pressure more than i can count

the ocean and i are seperate
both flowers from different gardens
one ephemeral, one wilting before your eyes
but both's head tilting up to the heavens

sorrowful eyes, swirling, storm awakening
chaos mingling betwixt water and blood
ravid souls in dire need of feeding
cursed and blessed by god

i wonder if i could carry the ocean
within just the corners of my palm
i and the ocean - we are one
a catastrophe after the calm
i love the ocean. it makes you feel a lot of things.
 Jul 2019 sophie
Anna
vile
 Jul 2019 sophie
Anna
Just the sound of your name
makes my ears bleed,
and saying it taste like
poison on my tongue.
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