late at night, i lie awake
thinking of things i should have said
all the mistakes i've made
and signs i should've read

then think about what i can't live without
you, front and center in my mind
sometimes it feels like halfway love
almost, but not quite

still, parts of you make me whole
who i am and who i need to be
i think of love letters that weren't torn up
feelings of blue and green

when i'm without you
blank page, artless innocence
i realize how dependent i've grown to you
and feel the need to create a distance

sometimes i look up at the purple sky
and wonder if you're looking too
i gaze at the colors and the beauty of it all
though its beauty would never compare to you

peculiar,
just like you.
you prefer hydrangeas
over roses
and when
you planted
a valley
of them
inside of me
i get butterflies in my stomach
everytime i see you

So why does my eye only see
in front of me,
why can't I see the horizon so
lovely,
why must it always be this way,
Oh my muse I wish you would
leave me soon,
for my life cannot sustain under your marvelous presence,
you're always on my mind,
the reason for my educational
decline,
still I love you,
even if I must leave you,
even if this is a way to indulge you

My body has no axis
so it spins as it wants,
my body has no line
on which to stand,
or on which to hang.
I create with my own hands,
my mind is my own,
I am my own woman,
and this life is only mine.
I've cut off the strings,
that unjustly bind,
I create my own blessings.
I may ask God for forgiveness,
but for any more sin
I will no longer atone.
I create my own ending.