the silence is never silent;
there's always that ringing
in your ears
that forces you to just
pause
and listen
to nothing.

but i think i needed this
not-silence, anyway.
i've been listening to music so constantly,
i think i might have
melted my mind
into further chaos,
i cannot

think
about anything other than
how nice the static solitude is,
to lie down
on this well-worn mattress
and just
stop

hush, child
it's alright now.
i wish somebody would've told me that
when i were a little boy.
hush, child, shh
you'll be okay.
maybe it wouldn't have
turned into a lie
if it had just been said
in the first place

it's funny how
the silence and
the loneliness
used to **** me slowly, painfully
but now it's all i'm used to
and i need doses of it
every
single
day

you can lean
on the tennis court fence
and tell me
about your day, your week,
your life.

i can sit
on the tennis court floor
smoking bits
taking petty photos
of the sky,
as you say how bad it is
to be alive.

we'll find
comfort in loneliness
and when we
finally feel okay,
i'll snap
a new photo
of our sky.

the birds are calling
i feel like crying
i used to love their
morning song
and still i do, and always will
but today my mind is
ill and tired,
the love inside me
is close to expired;
i'm drained and my eyes
are as sore as paper cuts.
these birds, they sing
soaring like i wish i could
oblivious to the irony they bring
that juxtaposition of
cheerful chirps
as a young man lies in bed
and wishes for...
something he won't name.

i think i kinda like you
just a little too much.

i'm not gonna tell you about this
little infatuation

but i feel warm when
you smile because of me,

and my cheeks ache with grinning
when you laugh at something i do.

i told myself i never would,
know all the reasons why i

never should fall for you;
we're just not made like that.

this is... don't read into it
preferably? don't read it at all

this is something i've
considered for a long while

i'll laugh it off, call you my-
well, that'd be obvious

ruining us is the last thing
on my mind; but you

are the first thing on my mind
most days

god, i hate this. i'm so sorry.
i didn't mean to

i didn't mean to get confused about us
i didn't mean to wonder

mostly, i don't know how i feel
maybe i'm confusing friendship with romance

but i do know this:
your lips are ones i'd like to kiss