hands raised to the sky as he runs,
young and wild, curious, carefree;
sunlight bleeds through his fingers
not enough,
he wants to touch the sun.
you mustn't get too close, Daedalus warns him
and then Apollo smiles;

it feels like soaring,
being on the receiving end of
something so bright.
full of youth, seduction is easy
i think your mouth would taste like summer
he surrenders
slave to a burning star
forgive me, father

when he flies,
the taste of freedom
is sweet and heavy on his tongue
but you're not really free
sunbeams envelope him
his skin is golden; Apollo's touch is fire
he's never felt so warm
loved

i could destroy you
he's always been reckless
you won't
throws himself into the flames with abandon
it burns; it's violent; it consumes him
this isn't love
defiant, he smiles even as he screams
it's love to me

Apollo watches as he plummets
falling, falling, collapsing, wings singed and broken
gods shouldn't feel this helpless
it was love to me too
the slap of skin,
the crunch of bones breaking in the waves.
nothing could convince him to keep looking
as Daedalus screams
and holds his fallen son

gods bleed ichor,
gold like Apollo's light;
Apollo has eyes like a clear blue sea,
that's what Icarus once told him;
now Icarus paints the ocean,
bleeds scarlet into Poseidon's waters
and the sun god watches.
how fitting that you'd taint the ocean like you tainted me
Apollo's eyes are red from crying

was it worth it?
in the afterlife, he wears scars
where he used to wear wings
i'd fall a thousand times over just to kiss your lips
immortal now, his soul is sun-stroked
they'll write odes to you,
the boy who flew too close to the sun
even in death, his spirit is bright with innocent joy
he laughs
it sounds like Cupid's lyre

let them, he beams. at least i flew.

Some nights
the moon throws its light
like an old man
who can't hold his liquor in
and spits blood in the morning

Someone ought to kick some sense
into me, if they did I'd hum
like the body of a fiddle

I propose we all strip down
and take a swim with my friends
the dragonflies, but no one will listen
to what I have to say when I throw my voice
like an empty bottle deep in the forest

When I think of all the dark
and swift things of my rivers,
I wonder why time the old boot -
legger hides his maps and goes
on traveling the low roads

Alone I can tell you there is so much
beside the point of the thorn of the rose
and why the moon is with me always
whenever i choose to go it alone

I drink from that blue jar of time
and breathe the breath of sweet infants

Believe you me the dead shepherd
we sent up the river in a faraway land
in a time so long ago still holds us
all by the holes in his hands

You can see the dark clouds up ahead,
my cloisters I am always walking through them
with you children of the lost dreams,
and with you fifty-something snow-headed men

We have just collided with our lost sons
on the high road of morning, we are rising
dust like the dirt on our children's graves
saying nothing to our brothers the stones.

you said we all have trials
i think you forget
there's no court of law
for the demons in your head

and if there was, i'd be on bail
with a psych eval due
struggling to swallow sadism
and thinking of you

he told me we're toxic;
she told me you're a liar
you bring out the worst in me
set good intentions on fire

i've never burned more
than when i'm losing sleep over you
if you were petrol, i'd drink
and finally we'd be through

i can't stand the way i hate you
and i love you just as much
i'm tired of hurting
and being used as a crutch

i don't believe it when you're sweet
can't stomach it when you're mad
sometimes you're an angel
but almost the worst i've ever had

in the past, i was empty
seven years without crying
now i'm swelling with anxiety
but at least i'm trying

told me you'll never stop
god knows i don't want you to
but maybe i need it,
a break from what you do

i'm softening the tone
with half-assed rhymes
to sound like i'm okay
with the fact you aren't mine

though part of me thinks
for what it's worth
that i got lucky to miss a shot
and dodge a bullet, dodge the hurt

it feels easier when i'm around you;
talking to you soothes the worry,
eases the anxiety

every time i'm away, counting
3, 2, 1, and you'll forget about me
just another filler chapter in a heart-wrenching story

i'm sorry; i'm just so needy
convinced that everyone who loves me
is never gonna love me

for children, they call it separation anxiety—
i call it abandonment issues,
and i've got a lot of traumatic memories

i just want you to stay, to-- to be here with me
if i were a mattress, i'd be stained and rickety
but i'd still keep you warm and comfy

i can hold you and kiss your soul,
lie with you, protect you as you sleep: gentle, easy.
just stay with me.