Here is the truth:
I am terrified of the demons
living inside me.
He claws against my heart
and sends ghosts in to my head;
drowning me in despair,
suffocating me with self-hatred,
choking me with anxiety.
I can not find a way to escape him--
I can not bleed my demons out,
can not reach him through my veins.
How do I find someone
who will get inside my head
and **** my demons for me?
I want to shred my skin
and cut my body in to ribbons
so as to look as terrible as I feel.
I'm sorry
that I wasn't strong enough to overcome it
and that in ways
I am in love with these ghosts--
my agony seems to be the reason for my existence.
I am hurt
and I am hurting others because of who I am,
because of what I have become.
I am in love with the words
of a boy who understood my mind--
I am in love with someone
who loves somebody else.
I am in love with someone
who is to scared to love me.
At the end,
all I have is my sorrow:
My demons are the only things
that never leave.