maria

maria Aug 2019

I've met you before
and then you changed direction

I've loved you before
and then you changed your hair

I've lost you before
and you didn't care

I've missed you before
and then you found another pair

I've left you before
you're forever shocked

I'm alive

Evey before is followed by an after. Letting you go was the best 'after' of my life.

Written on August 31, 2019

#before #you #after #love #go #pain #hurt #away #lost #alive

Aug 2019

Nicole

Soon to be an answered prayer

my first love was
in the right place at the wrong time
my second love was
in the right time at the wrong place
and you
my last love
i may not have met you yet
but you're still in my prayers

#prayer #hello #crush #love

maria Aug 2019

blur

just another night
my sky is a blur,
all a mess,
can't figure why,
or maybe I know,
I don't want to know.
just another night
I can't see clear anymore.

I don't even understand those feelings.
Written on August 30, 2019

#blur #sky #night #confused #mess #feelings #anxiety #pain #alone

maria Aug 2019

Cloudy goodbyes

Salty eyes when I look in the sky for your absence

The clouds are not in the mood to reply

I'm not in the mood to keep trying

It's raining outside

I take my clouds and leave the town

Goodbye

To the sad days that I'm getting used to
Written on August 27, 2019

#sad #cloud #goodbye #leave #absence #love #lost #mood #sky #cry

maria Aug 2019

Why?

Why did you have to make me hate myself for loving you?

Why do I have to live with the memories of you when all I want to do is forget?

Why did you have to destroy all I ever thought of you?

Why did you make me lose every hope in love?

Sometimes it's not the break up that destroys you but it's everything after that. Sometimes you don't know a person if you've never been in a difficult situation. And when you see the distance and cruelty you're just disappointed.

Written on August 21, 2019

#why #love #lost #sad #distance #disappointed #destroy #pain #hate #chagrin

maria Aug 2019

Faded blue

My heart is now blue,
faded blue,
like the headache you caused me wasn't enough.
You're trying and trying to warm me,
oh, please,
I don't want this.
Let me decide,
I want to keep dying.

a time situation when everything felt a faded blue

Written on August 21, 2019

#heart #blue #love #dying #stress #headache #pain

maria Jun 2019

I don't know

I don't even know how to talk about this.

My mind's playing games with me,
I am the end of the game.
My mum wants to help,
she doesn't understand,
me and help don't get along with each other.

I don't even know why I'm talking about this.

It doesn't seem like I'm actually talking about something,
meanwhile I'm talking about everything.
Different inflection when I see myself,
shadows and stars sleeping in the same bed.

I don't know why I'm so difficult to understand.

Is there a moment ,or maybe more, when you just can't get along with your own self, with your own thoughts? Is there a moment when you don't even know what you're doing anymore, what your arguing with, why you're so confused and exhausted?
Well, it's okay. Be true to yourself. It'll pass. Not now maybe, but it will.

written on June 17, 2019

#shadows #stress #anxiety #lost #help #confused #exhausted #understand