Standing here
And I see endless roads
Of possibilities.
Standing here
With all my fears
I freeze.

Do not know which way to go
Do not know which way to take
But all that I can know
Is with every decision I make,
I will still wonder
About the endless roads
Of possibilities
That I never took.

Its been a long time since i felt this way
I wish everything could just stay
The way it has always been.

Nothing is wrong
But nothing feels right.
Let me figure this out tonight.

If i could stop being so lazy and dumb
That would be nice.
Because my dreams are huge
And i am nowhere near it.
For each and every time that i have failed,
I hurt so much
I never really liked to show it
Because its one of my biggest weeakness
Insecurity
Embarrassment.


But there is no one to blame
but me.

When will i ever achieve
Or will i not?

As I stood waiting for the lights
To change so i could move forward
Among the thousands of souls around
Have never i felt so lonely before.

The lights changed and I
Continued walking forward
But have never I felt so empty before
Even as I breathed.

With every single breath i take,
I will remind my foolish self
To not do it again.

I feel suicidal
And im ******* scared.

Do you know how stupid I feel?
Being here for you after
All that you have done.
You pushed me away
Day after day
But all I did
Was stay.

Do you know how angry I am?
Angry at myself
Angry at you
Angry at the whole situation.

I cannot bear to leave you all alone
Hurting down to your bones
But this isnt right at all
Because it is all over.

But even then I still asked you,
Dear love,
What can I do to ease your pain?
You answered,
Dear teddy,
Will you hold me close
And do all that we used to
All over again?

We give our all
Though we know there will be an end.
Our life is only complete then.

It was the kind of morning
Where I would pull you closer
With my eyes half opened half closed
Hold you so tight
As tight as the way I shut my eyes
The night before
While imagining having
You, by my side.

It was the kind of afternoon
Where I would watch you
Take a sip of your tea elegantly
Tasting the piece of cake slowly
Where I would watch the blue sky
With you
Drawing our future together
Just like how I still draw our story
So I could have
You, by my side.

It is the kind of night
Where the silence between us
Would be perfect
The hugs would be tighter than ever
The kisses very much sweeter
I would look into your eyes
To feel your presence
Just like how I stare at the wall
So that I could have
You, by my side.

But You, are not
By my side.