the best sin i've ever made
was falling for you.
falling for your big, brown eyes;
falling for the way you talk about a song you listened to;
falling for you —
is the best sin
i've ever committed.

i always loved rap, drill, and trap more than any music genre out there
like lil peep, central cee, and travis scott.
then one day, you ranted about how much you loved maroon 5
and ever since that day, it was your favorite song from them, “she will be loved” that i’ve been listening to until my earphones wear out.

i was never a big fan of donuts, especially the chocolate flavor.
it was always too sweet for my liking, that’s all.
until i saw you eat a chocolate donut, the only flavor of donuts you like.
from that day on, i always got myself a chocolate donut every time i craved something sweet.

art was something i absolutely ****** at.
i tried and tried but i always ended up failing miserably.
that was until i saw you show off your drawings, ones of your favorite characters.
since then, i’ve been practicing and practicing until i could finally draw and paint you, my favorite piece of art.

i never really saw a reason to be happy in my life;
it was always the same cycle of betrayal, broken trust, and so on.
but then i saw you dancing happily in the rain as you were listening to all your favorite songs
and starting then, i finally found a reason for me to love life:
seeing your happiness— and just you, entirely.

they loaded their nerf guns with those gaudy orange foam bullets that almost hurt my eyes
as i stood there waiting with a shield made of a cardboard box to protect myself from those small pieces of foam.
everyone was excited, so i tried to be excited
but what they didn’t know is how painful those supposed “toy bullets” felt.

then they started shooting at me— every single bullet.
i dodged and shielded everything they gave me with the little energy i had.
i tried to fake enjoying it, i really did,
but deep down inside, all i felt was fear, afraid of getting hit.

as i was protecting myself from those foam bullets
one hit me— hard.
even worse, it came from one of those big, powerful ones.
i told everyone that one hit me, that i was in pain, that it hurt so bad
but all they said was “it’s just nerf bullets, they can’t hurt that much”.

i’m still waiting at the bus stop,
waiting patiently for the bus that will take me to the world where you truly love me;
the world where you won’t make me undress to prove my love
because all i ever wanted was to be loved by you, is that too much to ask for?

i’m still waiting at the bus stop,
waiting patiently for the bus that will take me to the world where i’m more than just a doll to you,
more than just a pretty face you desire
because all i ever wanted was for you to love my soul too, not just my skin.

i’m still waiting at the bus stop,
waiting patiently for the bus that will take me to the world where you’ll stay with me forever,
another world where i won’t be thrown out into the cold as soon as i get tiresome
because all i ever wanted was for you to stay with me and never ever leave.

i’m still waiting at the bus stop,
waiting patiently for the bus that will take me to the world where i feel safe in your presence
and not like a pet that will always stay in the cage you gave me
because all i ever wanted was to stay in your arms and feel safe from every harm in this world.

i will always be waiting at the bus stop,
waiting patiently for the ride that will take me to the world where you truly love me
not for my body, not for my skin, but for my soul.
i don’t care if it may take a thousand years or a little longer than eternity;
i’ll always be waiting to feel what it’s like to be held by you, not touched.