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hannah 2h
sleep paralysis demons are so scary.
they haunt me at the times i can’t move,
at the times i felt chained.

but at the same time,
why does it feel comforting?
it’s comforting knowing someone is always watching
over me
at my most vulnerable state.

why do sleep paralysis demons feel like a solace
when they’re supposed to make you afraid?
this isn't abt sleep paralysis demons.
hannah 1d
i love being sarcastic—
to mock the most horrendous situations,
to ironize some of the most stupid things.
how i love my sarcastic self.

isn’t it so fun
making jokes out of the most unnecessary ****
to cover up something that’s nothing but true?

don’t you just love being sarcastic
to be able to conceal every single one of your insecurities?

it’s such a blessing to be sarcastic, isn’t it?
getting to hide away all the flaws you see in yourself
by joking about it and making a laugh out of it?

how i love being sarcastic.
hannah 2d
they loaded their nerf guns with those gaudy orange foam bullets that almost hurt my eyes
as i stood there waiting with a shield made of a cardboard box to protect myself from those small pieces of foam.
everyone was excited, so i tried to be excited
but what they didn’t know is how painful those supposed “toy bullets” felt.

then they started shooting at me— every single bullet.
i dodged and shielded everything they gave me with the little energy i had.
i tried to fake enjoying it, i really did,
but deep down inside, all i felt was fear, afraid of getting hit.

as i was protecting myself from those foam bullets
one hit me— hard.
even worse, it came from one of those big, powerful ones.
i told everyone that one hit me, that i was in pain, that it hurt so bad
but all they said was “it’s just nerf bullets, they can’t hurt that much”.
hannah 2d
i’m still waiting at the bus stop,
waiting patiently for the bus that will take me to the world where you truly love me;
the world where you won’t make me undress to prove my love
because all i ever wanted was to be loved by you, is that too much to ask for?

i’m still waiting at the bus stop,
waiting patiently for the bus that will take me to the world where i’m more than just a doll to you,
more than just a pretty face you desire
because all i ever wanted was for you to love my soul too, not just my skin.

i’m still waiting at the bus stop,
waiting patiently for the bus that will take me to the world where you’ll stay with me forever,
another world where i won’t be thrown out into the cold as soon as i get tiresome
because all i ever wanted was for you to stay with me and never ever leave.

i’m still waiting at the bus stop,
waiting patiently for the bus that will take me to the world where i feel safe in your presence
and not like a pet that will always stay in the cage you gave me
because all i ever wanted was to stay in your arms and feel safe from every harm in this world.

i will always be waiting at the bus stop,
waiting patiently for the ride that will take me to the world where you truly love me
not for my body, not for my skin, but for my soul.
i don’t care if it may take a thousand years or a little longer than eternity;
i’ll always be waiting to feel what it’s like to be held by you, not touched.

— The End —