she's really nice
and very pretty
~
she does my eyeliner for me
she has pockets full of strawberry sugar
and candy colored hair
~
she likes music and art
and maybe even me
~
she's like bubble gum
and a ****** nose
(if that makes any sense at all)
~
she doesn't care
that i'm
too tall
too skinny
too much
~
she's just...
nice
to me
for no reason
~
huh.

i could
i could kiss you
i could love you
i could be anything
(everything)
you could ever want

but will it ever be enough?

we could kiss
and never tell
we could spend nights together
in my car
where nobody knows
what we are

i could love you in secret
just between you and me
we could be quiet and reckless
wild and free

we could keep up those walls
the ones that hurt
just do the fun stuff
or whatever works

we could be anything
anything at all
no promises
no commitment
just...

we
could just
be.

it's been a while
i learned a lot about myself
but there's a lot left to learn, for me and you both
i hope you're ready
im ******* not

oh yea, i'm back
but not the same.
i don't think i will be either,
at least not for very long time
you took it out of me
really...

but don't you mind me,
im doing lovely
especially compared to last month
and i know i said dome things
did some things...

but i hoped seeing you would make things...
different? better?
and i guess there are
i mean, they certainly are different...

now i can't breathe
without choking on something
on my words
on my feelings
all of those dying nights
almost like they never happened
like...
a dream

but im back now!
im back and better and waiting
waiting for you to notice,
and i think you did
what did you say?
why did you want?
i don't even remember
but im glad you did
because now i have a reason to fix things

i'm really fighting this
making it difficult
it's kind of what i do
im not giving up
not tonight