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Peeling the mask away
Chipping at this facade
Jumping from the tight rope act
Finding the person I thought was lost
Pleading for the time to be right
i used to
complain and whine
about how poorly
life was going
how the world
had been so unkind
it is now clear to me
i cannot be the victim
while trying to be the victor
I tried to
show me
Why I
loathe me
I sit in
the dark
Cause I can't
stand me
Doesn't matter if
I say
I'm sorry
to myself
There's no
forgiving me
I know that
the thing
That disgusts me
is me
lose everything
still pay a price
do anything for love
still consumed by hate
take all roads to freedom
still imprisoned in myself
If I started humming,
would you guess the tune?
Mindlessly airborne strumming,
until I look at you.

Would you dance in the kitchen
to a song almost twenty years old?
Would you join in my weirdness,
or is your love not yet that bold?

Will you know what I'm feeling
from the songs I play on repeat?
How will you respond
when I spiral, stuck on the couch in defeat?

Will you paint me a picture
on a canvas blank as can be?
Or will you say you're not an artist,
when it’s not quality I wanted to see?

Will you love me if I were a worm?
Or a bird? Or a fish? Or a plane?
Will you love me when I ask those questions
at 2 a.m. when you work the next day?

If I asked you to play mermaids,
mid-summer in a public pool,
would you splash around at ease with me,
or stay dry, thinking I’m a fool?

Will you hold my hand in the grocery store,
bringing it up against your lips?
Will you walk me through the aisles,
in small errand, delusional bliss?

Will you point out the cows while I’m driving?
Not yell when I hit the curb?
Could you be calm to my chaos-
soothing my ever-tangled nerves?
It's the smallest moments that make love grand, if you ask me
You were a dog trainer
I was a wolf-
Yet you were shocked I bit you
And I had the audacity to whimper when you ran
I just wanted to thank you for creating such a meaningful space for poets.
Your platform has helped me grow and reach readers in ways I never imagined.

As I begin shaping my next poetry collection, I’d be deeply honored to receive a title suggestion from you.
I can’t think of a more meaningful way to name it than with your insight, since you’ve been such a part of my journey.

With gratitude,
Zahra
Between you and me

sometimes drifts the melody --


of an old ditty.
Poem "Soms **** ik het even" ("Sometimes I hear it for a moment", 2006, Frida Vogels), published in "Diary 1960-1961" - April 15th, 1961, Amsterdam

Collection "Trench Walking"
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