Forgotten Memories are just that, forgotten.
Until some force makes you see.
They replay from within showing your soul things of the past.
Things that bring it to radiate as the sun would on a hot day
And
Things that put it to shame like a dog who disobeyed his master as he tucked his tail between his legs.
Things that lets giggles and laughter fill the room
And
Things that make it cry in pain  as memories pierce and stab.
Forgotten Memories are just that
Until they come back and you remember.

Going about my days with nothing more than my heart that beats involuntary to keep my alive.

Honestly I just don't know why I keep going when everything seems so dead.

Only my heart that beats involuntary keeps me going. It beats with an unwanted force.

Stop Heart just stop. I don't want to feel my blood course through my veins reminding me that I am still
     alive and can still feel pain. I don't want to be blanketed and be kept warmed by the damp loneliness  
That surrounds me.

11:11 Am
I wish for him to be with me
11:11 pm
I wish for him to be with me

Everyday it's the same wish
Everyday I recite it like a memorized line for a play
This wish doesn't change and will never change until it comes true

And maybe it will never come true
But that won't stop me from loving you
Cause wishing gives me hope
It lets me cope
Wishing the same thing again and again let's me know that I still want you

Dear Trip,

*******!

Sincerly
The very last poem I will ever write about you.

In these woods
where light retreats and shadows move
along commonly and playfully
I found a young boy.

He stood by a small sluggish stream, striking insensibly at the stones with a childish grin
He than ran noisily, not minding his heavy feet
Crushing and crumbling, the dried dead leaves.

In these woods
where a breeze questions trees on where it's to go
and how it's to get there
I am an adolescent male

I had a hand placed on the bark of a tree
as I kept close my eyes
Listening intently to the words of nature
before I release  my needed independent sigh.

In these Woods
Where the oak observes what's below with wisdom
coursing through it's limbs
I saw an elderly man.

He sat on a rock ignoring the discomfort he felt. Laughing to himself he shook his head and rose. A breath he took letting the aromas of circulate inside his soul. He shook his head once more before exiting the woods.

I'm getting lost in my mind trying to leave behind everything that leads to you
But in the end I met with repercussions with no idea what to do.
And I am told to ignore all your words from the past of my youth
But how do you muffle sounds when it was all you ever knew?

at this moment reminiscing gives me such a high
but I know I'll withdrawal before the end of the night
And the tears that I'm holding are comming on nigh
I know the sheets will drown with shattered dreams at the end of the night.

But it wasn't your fault at least that's what I say
Because once a heart is set, it can't change its way
or Changes its course it has for the day
or for the rest of its life though it brings dismay.

I was too caught up in visions too caught up in scripted fantasies
to even acknowledge that it aint possible this thought of you and me.
But that's what happens when you are a teenager in love  you disagree
With the truth that lies before you, you try to work its kinks.

And I am sorry for applying too much pressure when you were screaming for me to stop
I guess lost in my own head the screws the pins all of 'em popped
Leaving me diluted with polluted thoughts.
But that's what happens when you are a teenager in love  you disagree
With the truth that lies before you, you try to work its kinks.

It's must be more that just physical.

Hunger is evil. Hunger is a lying little snake in the garden of Eden telling you to eat it, even though its going against what your conscious is saying.
Or it could let you consume the knowledge  and use it for your benefit and the benefit of others

But still a sin, all the same.

maybe hunger is the need not to feed but to expand our knowledge
And if going against "rules" allows us to do that then so be it

**Then why do people who have no motive to learn still eat?

A simple kiss on the cheek
Could make everything
better.

Just one little kiss
Just a simple peck
Could make me feel
Better.

A simple kiss could take what I feel
Morph it from fantasy to reality.

Just one
Simple
Little
Kiss.

The sun was hanging low, talking to the sea, talking to me.
Sinking even lower it was talking to the breeze, strained whispers to the sea.

The sun was hanging high talking to the sky, talking to my
Shy imagination.

Feed me with things that are edible
Only things that are edible.
Only things that I like.
Don't ever feed me things that will cause indigestion.

Hmmmmmm
This could work
Could be
Could happen
This could actually work

'tis the morrow yet it has borrowed the remote sorrow harboring within the roots.

The trees are bare while creatures crawl underneath tearing at the skin.

Resting my heart on the pillow within
Taking this chance for it to rest.
Closed the walls and the doors
Go to sleep Heart
You deserve it.

You don't have to worry about
Working everyday trying to get his attention
You don't have to worry about
hiding the tears away.

Just go to sleep
you deserve it.

In these woods,
Where the light
and shadows weave in out the leaves,
I found a boy.

I smile
When she looks into the review mirror with that one look
Telling me with a blink that I should lie.
I smile
when I watch him whisper words of honey into her ears.
I smile
when all seems lost
When all must not know what is happening

But I cry only on the inside

For you my love I give thee a kiss
Not one that only last a mere second
Not one that starts the flame but never fully feeds it
No, I give you a kiss that lasts for the longest time
One that sets the fire and lets it free
Makes the wheels turn
Lets the heat between us grow from an ember to the sun

For you my love I give thee an embrace
Not one that makes me feel a vast emptiness between my cupped arms once you depart
Not one that fills me to have you close but then the cup must empty once you go
No, I give you a hug, one that lasts till our dying breath
Till Hell freezes and heaven burns
Till the stars all at once implode and explode
Till all we have left is us entangled in a web of our love
Till what is left is you and I slowly fading becoming nothing more than a whisper in the dark

A kiss, an embrace, everything for you my love

One of those pictures poems*       
    
 Need.                                                  
  Don't I come ­                                 High Memories.  Breathe                          I've
                ­                            A                                    ­    Those                        To                              ­    Far
                                      Feel               ­                       All                       Harder                             How
                                 Me                          Remember                     Gets                                    See
  Makes I It I
Take Take Take Take
               I I I I
     Step  Step  StepStep
Every  Every  Every  Every

And then I heard the wind
Treading lightly through the woods.
It spoke with a somber tone
"Leave with not an eye looking back."

Right After you left
Every vein was blown apart
Every heart beat stopped.

I was left ruined.
Dust covered every remnant
Of my broken Heart.

Nothing can be found
Each feeling I've had is dead
Blown into pieces.

Everything is dead.

And droplets of water morbidly spoke to one another before off the cloudy ledge they went.
(sighs)
if only they allowed for a slight angle in their trajectory upon committing suicide .
Who wants to hear feeble bodies splatter and break on impact against a window?
Frankly, (yawns) I find it rude.

Tell me something I need to hear but don't want to hear
Tell me something that my heart longs for but doesn't long for
Tell me something that Causes me to melt but then causes me to freeze
Tell me something, anything that has a double meaning

You covered your no with so much sugar
He ate it up thinking it was a yes.
Now when you tell him
he is going to be sick.

Just above my head, hung the question I have been dying to ask.
It linger above me, a cloud waiting to let the words rain down.
May I have this Dance
He looked at me with a curious gaze
Taking in what he saw.
Sorry but I already have some one to dance with
Clouds gathered above my head clumping together
This time only rain, no words Fell down.

Nothing can compare
to the child like laughter
of the ones you love.

You go and take control of every aspect of my life
You tell me where to go and dictate what's wrong and what's right
But Now I think I've had enough
you gave that one final shove
You can't tell me who to love.

SHUT UP! Take your verses
Shove them in your purse and
Leave me the hell alone
I don't give a **** This is my soul.

Life is moving forward
The Earth is moving forward
The water is running forward
I am moving forward
Is anybody moving backwards?

As we talk the heart which belongs to another begins to protest.
I try to ignore the scorning pulse throughout my veins as i type in the words to tell him about my day.  
He doesnt know that the heart is already taken but that doesn't matter Why must I suffer when I can have something better.

Let my words warm you
Let my arms protect you now
Let my love save you.

I am here for you
So why not use me tonight
As the pillow you will kiss.

Let my love warm you.
Let my love protect you now
Let my love save you.

"What should I do?"
Talk

T
   A
         L
                  K

to them.


All you have to is talk.
Find out about their interests
Their favorite color
Something
Anything

Just fill the air with question marks
and answers
Not with silences
Just talk

Have you ever taken the time
to ponder 'bout the stars?
Or ponder on why a toilet becomes an expensive piece of art.

It's a wonder how perception takes hold
and directs every choice we make.
controlling every aspect of our lives
When to give and when to take.

Have you ever taken the time
to wonder 'about life's meaning?
Or wonder about the waves brawling, singing within the sea?

It's a wonder how a simple line of acknowledgement takes hold
and sends us off into a higher thought of self
while spaces below become distant
to far to be seen to far to be felt.

Have you ever thought of -

Nevermind.

Lose your soul
to the notes
that will never be heard
for they are never to be written down.

How can the heart mend?
When I break it over and over?
How can a heart fend?
When I strike it over and over?

When I look in the mirror I say it was them
They couldn't handle a twisted man
But the mirror is cracked split before me
I am that mirror, The mirror is me.

When the lyrics of a song
   Carry not a meaning
        When the symbolism of the melody
              Starts to fade into the notes.
                      When a song is just that a song
                             You've Moved on.
                                                ....But the love is still there

And then with the moon
high above me, watching me
I lavished in pain.

All of the secrets
drained into puddles thickly
Exhausted I slept.

I was saved by  
The notes that were passed on high and low
The beats that vibrated my body right and left

I was saved by
The emotion invested in words
The stories I wrote with passion

I run
My fears struggle to clasp my arms and hold me in place
Drizzling rain coats me
The world's problems are gone for a moment, drip off my hands and into puddles
A breeze greets me with a touch so gentle
Lost in the moment where love seemed to reach me

It's time to head inside
*But I rather stay out

And it wasn’t that I fell out of love.
Every so often the wings of butterflies graze
Against the veins, plucking them to match my heart’s tongue tied tempo
No, I never fell out love.

And it wasn’t that I lost interest.
My mind’s compelled to acknowledge  
The thoughts were he resides, to nervously manage a smile, to sheepishly look away.
No, I never lost interest.

The memories involving him detach from their tree
Fall as the branches try to grasp them, to have them reattached.
His name is on the lips of the wind and I listen as it brushes me aside,
feeling as if not the wind but he who brushes me aside.

With the knowledge of having to refrain from intimately knowing him
I see another path present itself in my wake
And my heart, adventurous at its heart, walks down the unknown.

The new path bears a resemblance so striking
They could be twins.
The butterflies inhabit the area
My mind smiles with the nerves
And yet,
They differ.

The unknown is daunting
A menace
Something to greet with open arms
Only to embrace with a dagger ready to eliminate the threat
And yet
I will take it step by step
Heartbeat by heartbeat.

I want you
and I want to date you.  
That's all that needs to be said
Straight to the point
No more games
No more tricks

After the period I am gone
Well that's what they told me to do
To leave you hanging
To leave you thinking
But should I add more to the plate?

This was going to be said but then you said something on that Monday  
This was in the back of my mind when you told me something later on
This has always been there even when you said you weren’t like that anymore
Even when you showed me the girls you liked
It has always been there

So I will say this even though I might be adding more to the plate
even if It is going to confuse you more
Even if I will be given hell from everyone
Even if you don’t want to talk to me anymore
Cause it needs to be known
It wanted to be told since the very beginning

I want you and I want to date you.
Now, I am leaving after the period

If I were famous

Ha! Not a single human being would be able to match the words I spew out daily.
They will faintly be a former,  former fragile shell of themselves cracked as I step all over 'em.

If I were famous

I will have not only the amateurs but the professionals lapping up my words begging to be fed the wisdom I conjure but hehe I will only feed them the bones.

If I were famous

I wouldn't give a rats *** 'bout what you saw, who you saw, why you saw, What you gonna do about it, Nothing cause you a wimp ;)

If I were famous....

Though my love was in its infantcy
you were patient.

you were proud with every step I took and appluaed the almost steps for they were almost a step further for the last.
When I fell and wanted to stay seated and not bother with getting up you helped me get back on my feet and try agian.
when i needed guidance you were there to hold my hand all the way until i could love on my own.

And then I heard faintly his voice
A muffled whisper in the back of my mind
Beckoning me to embrace fully his memory.
And then I saw him walk alongside the streets
Blurred as if he were distantly
Making his way towards me.
But I, a lover only in dreams of day,
Looked the other way.
But I, a navigator of unrequited roads,
Turned up the radio and drove further into the cold.

As I rest this head of mine
I pray that my arms become
Olive branches.
I pray that when extended
they are taken.
And that this world ceases strife.

What are you to me?
You are the candy, that brings me to smile because you taste sweet
You are the sun that breaks through the clouds and brings warmth
What are you to me?
The rain to my parade but not intentionally
The one who makes my heart beat like a drum
but then makes it stop and beat slowly
What are you to me?
You are my roller coaster ride
With the ups and downs
The twists and turns
What are you to me?
You are
My love

And we past each other in wal-mart
well more he bumped into me when I rounded the corner.
I was with my mother
He was his mother.
that instant I saw him , hell I was heels over head, shoot me I'm dead
Him, me, bed, but to my mom he was just a friend.

"Um, Hey mark"
Hey mark? Is his ***** tangled into knots or was there something I forgot?
Oh yeah.....the closet.
"errr Derek how your project?"
"good"
"good"

but in those 10 seconds
i felt them hands
his mountain hands hike through my hair
I felt those thirsty lips lap up every nail from the closet door.
I heard him say I love you

But that was a week ago
Now it's a week later
the present

to his mother
to My mother
we are just friends

To write and write
and write
and write
and write.

Where does it come from?
This love so foregin
With is language hard to comprehend
and its ways so different from other feelings.
Where does it come from?