They told my place
is to tend the store
Tend the customers.
Cut the tobacco
in a just straight, just fine way
Tend the customers
But I feel my place
and it ain't in that old store
tain't tend customers.

I have become fluid as water
malleable for his needs
malleable for  his wants
but when he attempts to fold me over
like a blanket
I will be stone
Tomorrow.

To be happy, I can never be happy
Not when I put my happiness in the back of the line and escorts hers
to the front.

I was ****** with the sun putting aflame my skin.
I was broken and hanged before many men.
I was burned, hands tied, with no proof to my sin.
I was showered with pellets, toxic air burned from within
I was shot in the back, forced to fall and spin.
I was held under water fatally deprived of oxygen.
What else does society have in store as they condemn?

There was a fire
Blooming
on the tree.
It's many petals
brushed against the bark
Drinking all the water
it made the tree dry.

And it wasn't that I fell out of love.
The wings of the butterflies continue to make music
as the brush against my heart.
No, I never fell out of love.

And it wasn't that I lost interest.
My mind every now and then walks down to the box where
memories labeled "HIM" Lie and it explores the past.
No, I never lost interest.

This heart walks down the path of love it still has
and watches the leaves from the memory trees fall.
I hear his name in the wind and feel his arms as the wind nudges past me.
But I change path.
And walk down the unknown.
I can't have him.

So this new path is simialar but yet it differs.
I will take it step by step
Heart beat by heart beat.

And there it was
the tears
slowly swelling into droplets
before streaming silently down her cheek.
And there it was the acknowledgement
"when i die..."
An idea illuminating intentions of preparing for the inevitable end
"I want you to have my ring"
She looks to my sister
A tight melancholic smile my sister manages.
"I want you to have this"
She strokes the necklace 'round her neck.
Her eyes on me.
A tight melancholic smile I mange.
"when I die"...

Don't hug me or even do that smile
You really don't want to do that, I don't need to do that
Let's not make jokes with each other about liking each other
A girlfriend you have so please no more but I should tell myself that.
Not so sure that stopping is going to work. I just don't know. besides the Sugar cookie with Blue M&Ms; you are the only guy I actually like. so....

The summer is packing it's bags
Slowly moving out.
Fall has already settled
Or has it?
Winter is just it's turn.
While Spring is enjoying it's vacation.

I would dismiss it
If love were to show its face.
I have mastered solitude
With dexterous skill.  

Bothersome its not
For I rather have silence
Than hear the groans of my heart
Echo forever.

Let yourself feel the music
The somber tone that  swells and dwells in your heart.
Let in drown you in beats that vibrate the walls.

When you feel this music just let it take over.
Don't be afraid to sway with it.
Dance with it.
Sing with it.

Let it take over.

In the first grade I proclaimed loyalty to the art of writing.
In the Fifth Grade I inked my hands permanently with poetry.

If I told you I was fine
That would be a lie
because as long as this heart continues to want
I will never be okay

If I told you i was happy
That would be only the half truth
For I am glad you have someone
But I wish that someone was me

If I told you I never cared for you
And it doesn't matter anymore
You should catch this lie
because it would be the biggest lie
I have ever told
It would be so heavy that when you put me on a scale
it would break it

If you took each lie I told you
Peel them away like I was an Onion
and they the skin
You would find in the end
The truth


The truth that I would give my heart, body and soul for you
The truth that i will always care no matter what you do or say
The Truth that I still ,and will always, love you

I hear the leaves as the wind strums through them.
They all vibrate, humming, churning the air.

I hear the trees hit the low notes
Groaning a long peaceful note.

The river's drops jump everywhere
ding, Ding Ding
Hitting all the rocks lightly, softly, swiftly.

Sitting back watching the trees move when the wind moves
I look back to yesterday.

Those moments of the past now become my present
as my head is shown fragments.

There goes my friend from long ago smiling like a fool
but only smiling because I smiled like a fool too.

There goes the tears salting the blanket
as I hear the screams of my mother and sister.

There he goes walking trying to fit in with the crowd
when I know he would fit in with me at my side.

There she goes on with her pretty face smiling and laughing but knowing we may
never see each other again.

There I go looking forward watching myself as I look back to yesterday.

If you were to read my poems
it would be in the safety of your room.

If you were to asorb every I love yous and I want yous
it would be under the watchful eyes of the stars and the moon.

If you were to develop feelings of pleasure and were to, in result, smile
It would be when all were asleep.

If you were to love me because of my poems
It would be in the corner of your heart this secret you would keep.

If I could extract every word from my lungs and leave them empty
I would.
I would stop breathing, stop the words from swirling in the air and landing on the paper.
But I can't hold my breath because the words rub against my lungs burning them with friction.

Dear Writers,

Water the page with thoughts and observe the roses which root and flourish.

I teeter 'long the edge of Death's sidewalk.
I hope one day he will acknowledge my presence and open the door.

Circle me now, Love
Circle me now and keep on going
make my head spin with wanting
Make my heart beat with longing
Circle me now, love
Circle me now and forever

Can I clear my conscience,
If I'm different from the rest
If I told you what I was,
Would you turn your back on me?

I never said that I want this,
I don't ever wanna let you down
I wanna hide the truth
I wanna shelter you

Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
I've turned into a monster

It's woven in my soul
I'm just the same as I was
Now don't you understand
That I'm never changing who I am

A weeping boy covers his face in shame
He takes the razor and carves his “name”
In his leg

He digs deeper and ignores the pain
He feels the blood but “no pain, no gain”
He cries even harder

He is finished and starts to shake
Not from the damage he did make
But from the words that spin ‘round

He looks at his handiwork in the reflection
He lets it dry and covers it so no one will mention
This word and many others destroy him one cut at a time

The past is not a speck of dust
One can wipe away with cloth.
Nor does it just come at night
like a hungry moth.
It's the elephant in your mind
taking all the storage space
and people know of it's existence
They can see it on your face
when you gaze into the air
observe Intensely the specks of dust
collecting layer after layer.
*Is the past a speck of dust?

After running over the cat and the dog, the car
kept on going but it never got far.
It got hit by an on coming truck.

The time for forgiveness is gone
Nothing will be forgiven
He knows he is not the only one
But he chose not to stay, he's leaving

Leaving it all in the past and will not look behind him
Causes this is now that was then
His eyes will focus towards the light at the end
Because back down that way there is a friend
Who will love him as he is


And when the other wants him again
he will say no, because he can't go back to then
He can't relive the pain and sorrow
And the not wanting to see tomorrow

No, he will deny them Like they did
He will ignore like they did
He will just keep going

Everybody sees what they want
but never really what's on the inside
People don't know what they want
They all just want to be on the inside

But I am here to say
That this game we play
must end today
We are better than that


Everybody talks as if they know
Say the love but they never show
Tell each other that it's fine
But shun the one's who are kind

But I am here to say
That we should stop playing this game
If we want to be brave
We must end it today

We must end it today
Take a chance
and not play
with each other's mind and hearts
for that's how the hatered starts

We must end it today
This game that we all play
We must end it today
This game
The game
we all
play

A sky dyed in majenta ,but watered almost to a faint, is threatened by hints of gray.
The sun sets more westward, its another end of the day
More hints of gray paint
are underway.

His name is on the tip of my tounge
It held an angelic, harmonic sound
as if a bell or two were rung.

His name floats around somewhere in my mind
Ran away when he left for morning
Searched my clouded head but I cannot find

His name. What was his name?
Perhaps its hidden amongest the tangled sheets
I cannot remeber I'm in shame

What was his lovely name?

His shoes bruised harshly the skin of the street
as he made his way towards me, leaving behind a trail of outlandishly ghastly fumes.
With the letter in hand, his eyes were shaded in by confusion.
His opposition towards his deployment:
He is to be wed tomorrow.
Maybe his deployment could be delayed?
But as I pondered on the matter,
The man took hold of my arm
He mustered pressure
as if he were a snake attempting to intimidate the keeper
                                 "Fix. It."
He stressed both syllables with a sickening hiss.


The air 'round us halted after a breeze
quicken it's pace
crossing the street to the sidewalk over.
His shaded eyes met my hollow eyes.


"I just had this suit dry cleaned."


And with that I snagged his soul.

Dreams are the royal road to the unconscious.
--Sigmund Freud*

She slams the door.
Refuses to open it.
My fists makes contact,
over, over, over again,
harder, harder, harder again.
"I just wanted you tell me
that everything will be okay.
That's all I ever wanted."*
She remained silent.

Yeah I'll Tell you something
But my tongue is too busy twisting and turning
I think you'll understand
Can you comprehend what i would say
when I say that something
my eyes would avert their attention to anything but your face
I want to hold you hand*

The Beatles song would only be in my head
never reality.

There was space between my fingers but now the space is occupied
with my other hand who felt cold.

And I find myself walking backwards
To attempt at holding on to your memory...

You left me Br o
                          ken
Shattered beyond repair
nothing can reassemble my pieces together

My heart is left in jagged edges
left with shards to sharp to handle

No words can mend it
No words can mend me
I am broken
Like a toy left in the trash after it's head went missing
Like a watch with no more ticking
Left with nothing,
Broken, I am broken

For Nancy*
Coral skies hinted the sun's departure
As smoke wisped in a swirling fashion
attempting to grasp thin fingers
of the sun falling into another part of tomorrow.

Throw you onto the wall
Clasps on your hands with a firm touch
Prevent escape with my body upon yours
and kiss you

I want to be free
Free from all the feelings that circle me
Becasue right now they are overwhelming
I want to be free

I want to run forever
Because running gives me strength
It lets me escape what I don't want to hear
I want to run forever

I want to be single
Cause being alone is no longer scary
For I am an Independent person
I want to be single

I want to be free
I want to run forever
And I want to be single

You’re the first man to move me,
but
Today I feel the mood
Oh, I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet
When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
And hold on to your words 'cause talk is cheap.

The lights were dimmed but shadows were still laid across the wall
Dancing along with the small blow from mother nature.
In the room along the walls, with the shadows, pictures were hanged.
Some were covered with darkness preventing themselves from being seen
while others the dimmed lights illuminated parts of them.

Dear __,

And it's not the same anymore...my sentences once strong and fluent in confidence weaken and linger with those haunting ellipses...they hang over my head like a neon sign...a neon sign flickering at only half the...and i once believed our lives would be a double helix...you entwined to my being and i yours...but now...

Sincerely,

Francisco D.H

I dropped my thoughts into the pond
and wished for clarity
only for my thoughts to be spewed back
by a vengeful fish who grew tired of people purposely polluting the pond.

Forgive me,
for I took the liberty
of borrowing your red pen.

It broke
with no ink between strokes
I'll buy you a new pen.

The coffe *** is on
you can tell because
The aroma is spreading it's fingers and picking your nose.

The fan is on
you can tell because
It's voice is creaking, a gargling nails noise

The clock is on
You can tell because
The ticking of it's hands taunt you as it takes it's time timely.

And the
And the mountains echoed
And then there were none
And the band played on
And the waters turned to blood.

When you said my name
"Fran"
And you poked my side
I ignored

Was it right?
To not give in and fight?

You messaged me
for forgiveness
i told You
All that needed to be said

I left after the period
but now i am curious
what's going on in your head?

I fell in love with a blue ocean devil
I gave him my all but he let me drown.
And when he came around I held myself and trembled
I fell in love with a blue ocean devil.

He hit me in waves and I swallowed the salt
I gagged and retched, rid my body of pain
With a smirk his face expressed no shame
"You know all this"
He uses a finger to circle the air
"Isn't my fault"

I  was the one who fell in love with a blue ocean devil.

I'm growing tired of tryin
Oh I'm tired of tears
I gave up all my security
Just to choke on my fears

I'm  growing tired of tryin
Oh I'm done with this
I know you don't believe
But I was saved with his kiss

And I'm gonna take my chances
Sprout my wings and fly
For I know I have only, only  one life
And this one life is mine
Yeah this one life is mine

I don't care anymore
Went ahead and  closed the door
I need to find my own happiness

You can try to pray it out
you go ahead scream and shout
But I need this , I need this

I'm growing tired of tryin
Oh I'm tired of tears
I gave up all my security
to choke on my fears

I'm  growing tired of tryin
Oh I'm done with this
I know you don't believe
But I was saved by his kiss.

And mama I know you care
But the way you actin
it's like it aint there
Mama I'm  sorry for all the pain
I just wish you could understand

I promise you to be a good man
I promise you I'll do the best I can

So tried of tryin
So tried of tears
I need back my security
before I die with these fears