You left me Br o
                          ken
Shattered beyond repair
nothing can reassemble my pieces together

My heart is left in jagged edges
left with shards to sharp to handle

No words can mend it
No words can mend me
I am broken
Like a toy left in the trash after it's head went missing
Like a watch with no more ticking
Left with nothing,
Broken, I am broken

When the days seem to gray
As clouds rolled in over head
I let all escape except the thought of you

You are the sunshine that fights through the cold clouds
You are the warmth that makes me smile
You are in my mind

Just the thought of you makes my flowers
turn from brittle thirsty plants
To thriving, blooming vegetation

The thought of you is all I need to turn a day of hardship
To a day of happiness

Dear "Dad",
Thank you.
Thank you for sleeping with my mom that night
Thank you cuddling up with her
Making her feel special
For getting under the covers and giving her the pleasure
Thank you because without that night I would have never been

That's the only thing you ever did right

Thank you for letting me expericence an airplane ride
while I was still in the womb
You gave her money to come here to North Carolina
and then you abandoned me, my sis, and my mom
Thank you

Thank you for not sticking around
For not providing anything for us
even back in LA you did the same
Not A cent you gave to support this baby on the way

Thank you.

I now have a Dad, a real Dad one who has always been there
Even though he divorced my mom
He stuck around and he provided
He is my father

I aksed my mom to let me contact you
I want to see the face
Of the man that provided the other chromosomes to make me
I want to see the guy who loves poetry
I want to see the guy who loved to read
I want to know this man
Because apparntly you past these things to me

But the one big reason why I want to meet you
is because I want to show you the guy I became

This boy that never met his father
This boy who gets good grades in school
This guy who has dealt with a lot
Wants to slam in your face A BIG FAT THANK YOU for not being there
For not helping me play soccer
For not helping with my homework
For not being there while I cried over something stupid

THank you "dad" for not being here because if you were I think I would not have become the person I am and I rather die then not be who I am now

F
A
      L

L
  I
N
G

F
      O
                   R

Y
O
    U


This is something I thought I would never have done
I am not going to catch myself
Only fall until I land into your arms

S
        L
O

     W
L
    L
Y


F
      A  
                L
     L
I
  N  G

My love for you is like Violin dubstep
Starting out slowly moving effortlessly as if I were in space
Then it hits with  a bang

Pushing me right
Pushing left
Makes me drop
Makes me rise
Oh , my love for you makes my feet come to life

I get lost in the Rhythm
One Beat
Two beats
Four beats and more
Pulls and plucks my heart string back and forth

Yes , my love for you is like Violin Dubstep
This senstaion that I get is nothing but ecstasy
Winding me up for the big finale
LOVE Oh love is Violin Dubstep

So cold, I feel so cold
Ice driven through my heart
Freezing every artery every pore
This cold is all I have left as reminder of you

Time will heal the heart
But the scars will always be
Always there Faintly

I have a dream
A dream that seems not to far our there
It doesn't touch the stars or the moon
It touches the horizon

It's a balloon losing air
Slowly coming towards me
And I anxiously wait for it to fall before my feet

This dream is what most people dream of
They think of every detail
Who to invite
Should they use Red Tulips or White roses
Should  they use chocolate icing for the cake or just plain white

My dream is a bit different
Sure I dwell on the details but they are nothing
I could care less if we have a cake
I could care less if we had roses falling behind us as we said our vows

My dream is that I can say two words
To words that will bind me to one person for life
For better and for worse

I know that in some states that I can go
Find that one guy and get married
But I want to be able to get married and it be recognize everywhere
I want to be able to say to strangers "This is my husband" in every corner of the world

This dream is not far fetched it is slowly occurring
A snail but I can wait for that dream to come true
For it to be known that Marriage is the one way to show love
A commitment of two people who love each other

IF there was a day when you need a hand
I will be there to lend you mine

If there was a day you need a hug
I will be there to wrap my arms around you

If there was a day when you needed an someone to listen
I will be there my ears opened for your words

If there was a day you felt lonely
I will be there beside you

If there was a day you grew afraid
I will be there to face your fear with you

If there was a day when you thought your life was meaningless and You should throw it all away
I will be there to tell you that you have meaning and prevent you

And  if there was a day when you said you will never be with me and just want to be friends
I will be there, fulfilling all my promises that I made

I have Been
     UP
           ALL
Night

Just thinking of you
Just dreaming of you

Up
    All

    N
       i
        g
           h
              t

Just wanting you next

To
Me

I am no ***
I am not to work hard
Or to tire by strenuous activity
Nor am I an English school boy who acts as a servant to an older school boy
Nor am I a Cigarette

I am no ******
I am not a Bundle
Nor am I a bundle of pieces of wrought iron to be shaped by rolling or hammering at a high temperature
Nor am I a Bundle of sticks

I am no FAIRY
I am not a mythical being of folklore and romance usually having human form and magic powers

I am no FRUIT
Do I look edible? Do I give off a citrus aroma?
Nor am I a product of plant growth
Nor am I FRUITY
I am not relating to, made with, or resembling fruit

I am no Queer
I am not worthless, counterfeit
Nor am I Questionable, suspicious
Neither am I mildly insane
Nor To spoil the effect or success of

What I am is a homosexual
What I am is a male who likes other males
What I am is just another Human being who happens to be **Gay

You can take away the sun
So it won't shine to give warmth
You can take away the moon
So it won't calm the seas
You can take away the very air I breathe
So I can't draw in breath to live
But Don't take away my poems

You can beat me until purple shows
You can slap me till my skin is raw
You can shoot me in the heart
and rip it to sherds like it was made of paper
But don't take away my poems

My poems are my children
Made from my own mind
Made from my own hands
And even if one might be different from the other
They are still mine
My painful memories
My compliants about life
My sorrows
My joys

You can take away my identity
You can take away my very name
You can even make it that I don't live no more
and waste away in a field where I can't be found
But Don't take away my poems

We use to be Friends with Benefits
We use to go to the bathroom
With one waiting five minutes before going of course
For three minutes of Pleasure

We use to not talk at all only when needed
To set up meetings
I felt like we were spies in a movie
and with every meet we trade secrets
Down each others throats

With every touch thoughts ran through my mind
What if we got caught ?
For this is no ordinary Friends with Benefits
it was one that would be considered Forbidden

Two guys enjoying each others company
In the bathroom
Two guys moving and thrashing about like beasts
to satisfy their thirst    

It lasted for weeks, months, and years
Friends with Benefits
Savoring each time they came together
Each time their hunger for lust was fed

But we are no longer Friends with benefits
I no longer require lust to quiet my growling stomach
I don't need you to take my every inch
To make me move about in ecstasy

No I terminated your services
For I want to save myself for that one person I will love.
I know it seems dumb
since I have already gave myself up for three minutes of pleasure  
Time and time again.
And even though you want more
We can no longer be Friends with Benefits

Art is like love
with cerulean swirling around
leaves that are gracious green on a canvas
and with a magenta sky
touched by the amber sun
upon the endless horizon
With brushes dipped into golden yellow
and gently stroked onto the canvas
to show the beauty of a star

Art is like love with colors that bring happiness and joy

Art is like love
with black smeared and splattered
With angry, fiery orange thrown across a page with a palet knife
With rosy pink covered harshly by blood red as it drips off the brush

Art is like love with colors that bring only despair

Art is like the act of love
expressed by colors of emotions
That wash over us
and with desires that move us

Cupid, you fool
You devil in disguise
You are not the god of love
Torture is your tool

You shot your arrows
and hit me but the rest
Hit him not, and you didn't want to waste another
So he doesn't love me but I love this fellow

He loves me not and you could have made him
You could have nicked his heart like you did mine
But No, Cruel Cupid, You ignored my pleas
Ignored them with no attention
Can't you see this love does shine
If he cannot love then spare me

Cupid spare me from this torture
Spare me from this unwanted wanted love
Take my heart and undo your magic
Spare me, Cruel Cupid
undo what's done

If I told you I was fine
That would be a lie
because as long as this heart continues to want
I will never be okay

If I told you i was happy
That would be only the half truth
For I am glad you have someone
But I wish that someone was me

If I told you I never cared for you
And it doesn't matter anymore
You should catch this lie
because it would be the biggest lie
I have ever told
It would be so heavy that when you put me on a scale
it would break it

If you took each lie I told you
Peel them away like I was an Onion
and they the skin
You would find in the end
The truth


The truth that I would give my heart, body and soul for you
The truth that i will always care no matter what you do or say
The Truth that I still ,and will always, love you

Love is the blind man who wears sunglasses on his eyes
and holds his cup out, begging for money
He can't see who gives him money
but when he hears the coins drop and hit his cup
He is grateful

He can't tell if the money giver is dark as night
Nor can he tell if the money giver is plae as snow
All he knows is they took the time to
spare what they could give

As he uses his walking stick to tap the pavement
He hears the cup make the noise of joy
He thanks the giver and hears the sound of a baseball bat

He doesn't know if they bat for one team
or if they bat for the other
Or maybe they bat for both
But that doesn't matter they took their own money and gave him some

He walks some more and he continues
to hear money hit the cup
With each sound he gives a smile
A smile for every money giver
becasue he doesn't care who you are or what you do
He cannot see

He is the blind man
He is love

"love is a battlefield" they say
But they fail to mention that it is a blood bath of a war
They are careless to tell that in this war
Not only is your heart broken but you mind and your spirit also

They don't tell you about the hole that is left
The scar that has to be worn as a reminder of a battle lost
Or when two fight for the same prize
One is happy and wears the crown with triumph and pride
While the other is left to clean up the mess
The broken remnants of their heart
No all they say is "love is a battlefield"

You have to find out by yourself
That love is a war fought with handgrenades and missles
Fought with poisnious gases and deadly two-face spies
Love is a war fought fire with fire

They don't say that one might never be happy again
They don't say that one might feel as if life is over
No, all they say is "life is a battlefield."
The rest you must learn on your own.

Dear "My woman",

I love you
Don't let these words leave your mind
Nor let them escape into a dark void to never be found again
Even though I might not love you in the since of "love"
I love you as a friend and that is better than nothing

Just wanted to tell you something

When they call you "*****, *****, ****" and all those words
and they stick in your mind like goo
Just smile
Show your teeth with your braces
Let the sun illuminate them and let them reflect that you don't care

Raise your hand up in the air
But not to flip them the bird
but to wave a hello
Just smile and wave, girl, just smile and wave

I know you might want to just attack and bite
Scorn them with your own words
But don't
Just let your muscles in your face form a "u"

Don't let them get to you
Don't stoop to their level
You are better than that

I love you and you are a good friend
and don't forget to
Just smile

"Your Man"
Francisco D.H

Talk to you later I will say
Not Goodbye nor Farewell
Because in doing so I will be admitting that you are leaving

I will not hug you, with wet eyes and a mind wishing you'll stay
I will fight the urge of running towards you as you walk away
because I will lie to myself and tell
That I will TTYL

I will shake your hand with a firm grasp and pat you on the back
I will let your hand slip away and my voice will not crack
When I speak those words with a heavy heart,
Knowing I might not ever see you again,
TTYL

I am thirsty
But not for a cup of Black Coffee
Nor do I thirst for a cool refreshing glass of water
No, I thirst for your love

Nothing can taste sweeter than your love
Not even sweet tea
Not even soda with it's 32 grams of sugar
Only your love can excite my taste buds

I would sip it and not gulp it down
because I want to savor the taste
I don't want to drink fast
and not enjoy the beverage

I am thirsty for your love nothing else, nothing more

I want to be free
Free from all the feelings that circle me
Becasue right now they are overwhelming
I want to be free

I want to run forever
Because running gives me strength
It lets me escape what I don't want to hear
I want to run forever

I want to be single
Cause being alone is no longer scary
For I am an Independent person
I want to be single

I want to be free
I want to run forever
And I want to be single

This feeling brings my face to show a slight red on the carmel surface
My eyes twitch and open and close rapidly
Who would have thought I would be nervous

You are not my first not even my second
but they were merely covers
you being my third are also my first in my mind

I can't foresee all that might come
The road might me bumpy
It might contain some curves real steep curves
Or it might be smooth as a baby's bottom

I don't know what I might feel
But I am willing to jump in
For I am that type of guy
Who goes ahead pluges head first ignoring the waring sign

I will be honest with you though
If what we have doesnt feel right to me I will say
and If I do feel like it should last forever  ditto
For you deserve the truth no matter what

So as the days start to dwindle to when we can see each other agian
One feeling is all I have
I am Nervous

With the ping that message gives
I look at the tab and see the name
The name I have loved for the longest time
But I know it is someone else
and that gives me a smile

I am done with the other name
That name will not be meaning for the other
But for the one I am talkng to now

so I open the facebook message
happy that I have forgotten
The other one should have known

Now this one we will see where it goes
But hopefully I dont go back to the other
and wish that its his name that I see
We will have to wait and see

I tried and tried to make you love me
But each time I fell on through
For a moment you made me believe
That I can make this dream come true

With that Dashing smile and those picercing Blue eyes
You had me for awhile
Actuallly since the first time I saw you
For a moment You had me thinking that you were all mine

But Reality, hit me, That cruel friend
To make me see that I can't have you
So, I know my love for you is at an end
No more wanting you
No more dreaming of you
Becasue I can not have you

The truth is hitting me, wrapping it's deadly claws around me, preventing me from entering fantasy. But I am beginning to acknowledge it slowly, letting the beast become my friend, for it might be the answer, though dreading it, it might just let me free and let me forget all the pain, all the words that were written and spoken. The truth is becoming a friend not foe

Her hand travels to my own with confidence and that confidence is boosted
When her hand fits like a glove
She looks at me sweetly and bats those green eyes and I smile back
But its a false smile

How long can this Charade last?
How long before I crack?
I don't know the answer so I keep playing

My heart beats for her, but not only for her
It beats for another who I cannot have
it bleeds for her but not only for her
The blood that trickles is for another

Broken In two instead of remianing intact
How can this be? How can this be?
How Can I be Inbetween?

I did that once
Hid my shame, boxed it away and gave it to my friend the closet  
He was a good friend that kept all my secrets
He would never betray me

I did that once
Laughed at their little jokes that were towards women and girls
They were ****** and had all laughing both in and out but for me it was only out
I boxed my feelings away and gave them to The Closet

I did that once
Shut my eyes tightly and force images of women's privates
And when A thought of a boy or a man entered my mind I would boxed that too
The Closet took it with open arms and hid it away from the light

I did that once
Chose a girl that would help mask me
I hid behind her and used her as a front
When a question arosed I pulled her closer

My closet has hidden many things about me
Things that I have done are carefully wrapped in newspaper
Hiding in the Closet

I did that once
Shed some light on my trueself
and opened The Closet's door a crack
I let some things come out

I did that once and I don't have to do it again
I am no longer ashamed even though I might blush
I love the way I am
I am who I am
The Closet door is Now opened for all to see

When your name popped with that little ding
my heart fluttered and I went dizzy
My hands shaked with anticpation
For the love that I had was Growin

I remember when you sat next to me
you and your curly Blonde hair
and those blue eyes cut me so deep
I remember so vividly

Man. your rough looking hands were so appealing
I just wanted to grasp them as they went towards my own
But instead of your hand fitting like a puzzle piece, you took my Walkman

"What are you listeing to?" you asked
"Marry you by Bruno Mars" I said. you took an ear piece and began to listen
you began to sing and I was melting
you turned to me and sang that song for me but you weren't serious
But still i melted

This memory and so many are fading
Like when we held hands as a joke
and you pulled back saying " I Never held another guys hand."


How cute you were.

or how bout when the times you sat next to me on the ride home and you would just stare at me when i wasnt looking yes I noticed
Man, I wanted to lean on you

those memories are fading, maybe
For I might fall for antoher
we are just talking but who knows
I can't have you because you are not gay, or bi thats what you say

I love you enough to just believe it
Anthony, man just saying your name is like a drug,  I love you
But you and these memories might be fading, maybe

I might have found another Guy
one who might like me and I might like in return
If you do like me but dont want to admit it then
Please hurry
But if you are really are straight then its good
that you might be Fading, maybe

The past is the past
No need to climb the wall that I put in place
The green trees and little butterflies that are barley seen
Are just a mirage, so don't climb over

The past is the past
I have made mistakes and they need not be known
Cause they aren't anyone's bussiness
Only mine and no one else's

Enjoy the scenery that is presented
Enjoy the wall, dazzling with crystals
and hear the fake birds that sing
Just dont climb over Cause the past is the past

Strip away this smile
and you will see a frown so harsh
Strip away my words
and you will find I rather be mute anyway
Strip me from my feelings
I will thank you cause I don't like them
Strip them one by one

Strip me from the food i eat
and you will see that I force myself at times
Strip me from my mind
And you will see that I struggle to tame it
Strip away all of me
And I will be in your debt
For being me is never easy

I want my words to be stripped
beacause they hurt more than cure
I want my smile to be stripped
For it is false like my feelings most of the time

Just strip me till i am bare
Strip me till I'm nothing
You would be doing the world a favor

Love is nothing but a word
It doesn't feed you in the time of hunger
It doesn't heal a wound once you get cut
It doesn't hold you when you need holding
But, who loves you does

Who loves you will be there when you need to feed your heart
Who loves you will kiss the wound and tell you it will be better
Who loves you will hold you untill you fall alsleep in their arms
Their name is a word worth saying
Worth loving with every ounce you can give
Worth saying it is more than a word

Man, I wish I had a gun to shoot all the ballons that carry you away from me
I wish I had an axe to cut away the ropes that bound you so you can be with me
I wish I could **** all the ones who prevent you from being with me
but you know you too would die

So I only wish that you will have a change of heart and choose me
Cause Right now I am losing my mind with all the wondering
Words that want to come out just dance in my head making it throb
I wish to hold your hand
I wish to kiss those lips
I wish to feel your skin against mine
I wish to make love to you
But all the wishes are stuck in my head
Man, I do wish

you are gone agian this time for two weeks
and for what?
For Skipping class for HIM, that guy you say you don't like
You say you are not gay or even Bi and yet you spend time with him

I am glad you got caught
you know why?
Cause it is your punishment for all the wrong you have done
Never learning from your mistakes
For playing with my heart
For the things you have done to your sister
for the things you have done To yourself

I feel like I should just give up on you
Just leave you alone and forget
But My heart cries out no
My mind says no
My body says no
Eveything cries out no

I love you ,you stupid ,cant you see
I shed tears when i found out
I dont know if i can handle it
You told Her, Sam,  that you cut yourself for her
and you know what i saw
A girl who doesnt care for you
She rolled her eyes and they screamed " I dont care"
But guess what I do

I care if you cry
I care if you get hurt
I care if you hurt yourself
I care IF you get Suspeneded
I Care with ever fiber of my being
But it seems that you don't

WHY?????

I see you want another, you express your love for them
I say I am fine and I don't care
But these are empty words
Of course I am not fine
For you dont love me

your hugs bring a smile but its life is cut short
Hanged before it can say too long
because that thought of no love between us crashs in my mind

I want you, Want to stare deeply into those deep blue eyes
want to hold your hand, want to play with you curly blond hair
But, wanting and having are two different things like the sun and the moon
They are not Compatiable

But I will savor those moments when we do come close
I will savor everytime you say my name
i will savor every conversation we have
Cause those things I do have
Even if I cant have your love

Never again will my walls crumble
After being struck by a bomb of love
never agian will it make me feel warmth
like the sun found and melted my heart

Never again I say but yet some how these words dont mean a thing

For you were able to make me take them back

You broke my walls
You are the sun
You have made me feel the power of love

Hold me dont let me go
Dont let me fall into darkness
Tighten your grip on my heart
Dont wavry or loosen

I need you and want you
Dont ever let me go
You are my air, my water
you protect me from the cold

I love you more than the earth needs the sun
I love you
Dont ever let me go

This poem is not about you
Not about your curly blonde hair
Not about that cute chipped tooth when you grin
This poem is not about how your eyes captivate me and make me ride the ocean

This poem is not about you

It is not how you make me feel better with every glance i steal
It is not about how you send me realing when you say my name
It is not about how I wish i could kiss those lips
Do I need to repeat? This poem is not about you

I am so sorry to hurt your ego with this poem that is clearly not about you

Waiting is something I haven't grown use to.
I have always gotten what i wanted whether
I needed it at that moment or some time later
I don't like to wait, just twiddling my thumbs
or sighing out loud
Waiting
Waiting is dumb

He shot from the sky high above the clouds and found his mark
Shot through the middle, cupid’s arrow pierced my heart
Cruel Cupid, the arrow struck and caused me to fall onto the ground
My head was hit and, no stars but your face circled me round.

My soul melted, my heart burned with cupid’s love spell
You are the one for me and I know that to be true
I want you but if I can’t then oh well
Cupid’s arrow made me love you

I love you; those words were spoken with honey
But I could not allow it to pull my heart
Though sugar coated those words were
I knew that you were lying to me

A touch you gave sent chills of warmth
But hidden in that touch was not love but deception
A hidden agenda you had but what?
Do I stay or do I go forth?

**** love for it blinds me
Causes me to see past what I shouldn’t
Makes me melt when I should stand firm
**** you love, this shouldn’t be

I don’t know anymore as I listen to your angelic voice
Falling hard for you, afraid of hitting stone
Can’t find the power to resist, This love is powerful
I feel like my hands are tied like there is no choice

**** this love for what it puts me through
Ecstatic to see you but then I cry
For I want you to be with me
Oh, **** this love that made me love you