I can no longer be alone with you
The mix of love and the feelings of anger
are in conflict.
I still feel the same as before
Us ended and it become you and I
I still miss you, still read your letter
Still look at pictures of you for longer
then I should.

You have replaced me no problem
You are making personal descions
that affect my future.
A future that you are no longer apart of.
It's over remember?
You are with him, and I am alone.
So get out of my future.
It's you and I not US.

I think I'd do pretty well
as a functioning drunk
I wouldn't have too much
wouldn't take it too far
wouldn't drive a car
I'm content with the bus
I like seeing all the faces
even though no one
looks up from their phone screen
I'm good at pretending
we all connect somehow
like we were all friends
in some other time and place
I'm more friendly
when I'm not sober
feel closer to happy
I don't mind being a bit shabby
maybe I'll go buy a beer
maybe I'll go buy a bottle
maybe I'll just go

A cigarette after ***
  gets old
when it's the only thing
  burning
in your world.

When Netflix feels like
  family,
you wonder where
  everyone went.

******* feels like
  a cry for help--
So help you God.

Missing your home
  is second
to missing who
  you once were.

Eastern philosophy,
Karl Marx, Rawls--
We don't know
  any ******* thing,
really.

Pretending to be more.
Pretending to be smarter
than we really are.

May holes in our sides
let others see
that we're beating, too--
just not as ferociously
or as honestly.

May we vanish
into the darkness
that best suits us.

If the light is our night,
may we follow it.
Follow it...
Follow it...
Rebel from our frame.

May God grant us
to be more
than losers.

In this moment I've never felt so empty

My heart is a wooden slab being knawed away at by pesky termites that leave unrepairable holes

And my lungs like Swiss cheese that can't seem to give me the oxygen I need in order to rid the lump of sorrow in my throat

It's in this moment that your back has turned to me, as I count your steps and wait to hear the slamming of a car door

I count on you to look back at me and smile, but my hope has again betrayed me, and I realize the last I'll see of you will have been this moment

So I've never felt so empty
I've never felt so alone