you know the monster who conquered your daughter?
the one who slept underneath her bed
and made noises in the closet just to get into her head?
the one that was grey with a red embrace,
the one that erased some important space... in - between her ears
encouraging her to grow up to face her fears with 9 bottles of beers.
but those tears would reappear when her closet would croak.
as she did when the grey man invoked her to choke--
when she was 13.
The grey man sunk her self-esteem like a sub-marine.
at 16 she started popping out window screens
and replacing her caffeine with green weeds that only helped her to forget 13.
22 and wanting to start new,
she moved to a place with a nice mountain view.
She dread the first night in bed with no light
despite that she might have read stories for good nights,
she shut her eyes and saw a sight that she despised,
a sight that supplies her whole night full of cries.
when she was 5 this man with a knife
stood over her bed,
there was something he said before he filled her head
with only the deep concerning color of red.
The words that he spoke turned him to a cloud of smoke
that she only thinks about while choking on lines of coke....
The monster now resides in your daughter
because the lines from her father
right before he was slaughtered..
were- "don't even bother to grow to be stronger,
because the longer you think you can conquer your life;
the  more you'll turn into  a monster...
and ****** your wife.
Daddy's leaving now,
But ill tuck you in every single night."

Love someone who you cannot even
look in the eye:
it's not the demons in their self
but the way they make your heart
skip two beats instead of one
and maybe the realization that
they need not more than one look to know
you have already decorated a heart shaped room
in your ribs for them to find their home.

That's all they'll need to know
how once they let you in
you'll overstay
and lose your mind every time
their footsteps echo in the silent soundbox
of your conscious.

We don't talk of storms when they aren't already there;
if they can't fix you up,
they'll teach you how to ache instead,
and perhaps I'll learn to forget how to
give myself away in my smiles
and scribbles.

and scribbles.

i wish i had any other addiction than this;







breathing.

I put my
Heart and soul
Into it everyday
But they think it's
All a ******* joke
All the sweat and
Blood
I put into it
And they don't
Want to even make
An attempt besides
Showing up