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 Nov 2013 bob
gg
Code of Conduct
 Nov 2013 bob
gg
Please take note:
1. Give your heart to the boy with the crescent moon smile. Make sure it appears whole and perfect.
2. When he breaks it, tell him it's only a scratch. Polish it and hand it back to him with a smile. Do not hand him the magnifying glass. Do not let him see all of the other cracks. He has too many of his own, and you'll spend your time wishing you could fix them.
3. When someone lets you see the rough edges of themselves where the seams have been ripped and re-sewn, give them a hug and a smile and tell them that they are loved, tell them that you will listen. Talk to them like you would talk to yourself. To do this you will need to pretend you are normally honest with yourself. Do not ask them why it happened -- it is over now. Do not try to erase the scars -- they are there for a reason. They are scars for a reason. The body has healed them. Do not try to fix something that has healed. You will say too much and regret it.
4. When the boy asks you if you are upset tell him yes. Your smile is not strong enough for him to believe it. Do not tell him why you are upset. You are too strong to let it leave your lips. Do not let the cracks show.
5. If you are afraid or upset or lonely, write it down. Your words will seem silly in the broad light of day, but the feeling of pen on paper or fingers on keys will put you at ease. Let yourself be at ease. Listen to something beautiful and let yourself get sleepy. Let whatever emotion you are feeling come out as a sigh before you shut your eyes. Let sleep and music and words written be the charms that keep it away. Breathe out. Do not let the cracks show.
6. When you cry at something that should make you smile and your friends look at you like you're crazy do not explain. Tell them that you just can't contain your happiness. Do not tell them the way your heart feels hard and heavy in your chest and that the gift they sent you or compliment they paid you took the burden of hiding your emotions from your face just long enough for your eyes to let a few tears escape. They will not understand. Do not let the cracks show.
7. Finally, when you are alone and the door is closed and every living soul is gone and every emotion is pushing on the cracks from the inside out, let yourself be broken. Pour sadness and anger and hurt on the floor like a broken glass pours out wine. Look at everything you have spilled. Feel the shame from the first time you were broken and then feel nothing more. Grab a mop and clean the floor. Grab a towel and take a bath. When you are empty and naked and still alone, pick up each piece of yourself from the floor. Glue them together and smooth the seams away. Paint them to match your skin and polish them until they can't be seen. Get dressed. Fill yourself with food, music, writing, and smiles. Do not let the cracks show.
Inspired by "Unsolicted Advice" by Jeanann Verlee
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYZkLy0GHZ0)
and "Unsolicted Advice (after JeanannVerlee)" by Tonya Ingram
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wmL9dgG1oE)
 Nov 2013 bob
apathy
you can call me anything,
"ugly"
"fat"
"******"
"stupid"
"dramatic"
"annoying"
yo­u can call me anything,
those words don't tear me down
just don't call me retarted
it kills me
 Nov 2013 bob
J
It's really hard
To let myself
Let you
Love me
 Sep 2013 bob
Jacqui
Sick
 Sep 2013 bob
Jacqui
When I’m sick
I think that is when I miss you the most.
We were best friends.
You knew what to do to make me feel better.
You would let me take naps till the pains went away.
You rubbed my stomach.
You cured it.
I hate being sick
Cause it makes me miss you
More than I already do.
11/14/2012
 Jul 2013 bob
J
Tessa
 Jul 2013 bob
J
You.
Are.
Beautiful.
I wish you could see
The strength of your own beauty
Freckles, bright blue eyes, wispy strands of hair framing a beloved face
A gentle smile, the kindest of smiles
I love nothing more than a kind smile
Laugh lines and battle scars
They all add up to who you are
And you are beautiful
And you are made all the more beautiful because of what you are inside
Your inner light is so bright
So beautiful
So glowing
You positively sparkle
A peak at your eyes can show you that much
See it there? That little gleam? The glisten of your infinitely beautiful soul?
I see it, you know
We all do
If only you could too
If only you could feel the tender love I feel for you
How much I wish I could make you love yourself as I love you
How all I want is for you to be kind to yourself
Because I know how hard it is to be your own worst enemy
And you, my dear, are too kind to be anyone's enemy
Let alone your own
So I beg you to look a little closer at yourself
And look at all the people who love you, at those who surround you
They're drawn to your gentle, shining, sparkling beauty
Like moths to a beautiful and kind light
You are so precious to all of us
You are a blessing and a gift
You are beautiful
You are beautiful not for just one particular thing,
But for everything
You are beautiful in all that you are
And you are loved
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