all I feel now
is happiness

sorrow has escaped my soul
and the bad energy has left me

I am here now with a smile
ever so wide, gracing my face

and the scars on my body
to show that I am a survivor

and life will always
get better

just hold onto hope
and believe

erase my mind
give me a new heart
I want to start again
I don't want to be in the dark
I want another life
where we would walk through meadows
of marigold and lilac
and we could create our new beings
so that they are in harmony
once again

it was the way you never even looked back
or apologised for any of your doings
that really led me to believe that i was simply
n o t h i n g
and you did all you could
to take any light from my life
to make a vulnerable young girl
feel like she was alone
in the vastness of the universe
and that is dangerous
so d a n g e r o u s
and for that
i am never forgiving

fingertips
pulsating against my spine
you could see inside of me
into my mind
                               i swear
and i don't know how
but from the second we spoke
you knew me
and i knew you
and i fooled myself into thinking
that this was love
          the most debauched and broken kind that there is
hearts and souls
broken far beyond repair
and my mind
had been twisted
into something unruly
something that is convinced
it is no way worthy
of true love
only hatred and pain
and i was convinced that this was true
until now
until i found happiness
in you leaving
and discovered a new way
to live in harmony with nature
and all of her ways
to love oneself
before loving another
to smile at the way
the wind blows
and the trees whisper
and allow the moon
the stars
the sun and the plants
to lighten my way

sit with me, just for a while
tell me everything I did
to deserve this tragic fate
that is your love

tell me why, after all the good that I have done
why my life came to this
to you
to us

isn't it just cruel?
those endless nights I spent with you
trying to save you
when I couldn't even save myself

the sleepy days that were filled with your hateful words
your spiteful attitude
the insults and the way
that I was always wrong

you found pleasure
in leaving me lonesome
and almost broken
yet still agonisingly alive

and now that I am happy
and have found myself to be
at one with the world and her love
you think that you can come back?

for you can try to hold the past against me
and you can try to put me down
but months on
I am happy now

and I am the real winner here, my dear
because since you left
I have escaped fear, and all of his friends
I can smile proudly and truthfully

I can say that I won this battle
and it was nice to see you lose
because after everything you put me through
I no longer deserve your abuse

being in love
was never meant to be this hard
and the stains and scars
that taint my soul
were all laid to rest there
by you

and when I look into the stars
all I see
are the many ways you hurt
and demoralised me

but in saying I love you
would be all but the truth
because honestly dear
I can't stand even the thought of you