Existence has never been so theoretical.
my motions never more blurred,
my notions never more unmotivated,
touching so underwhelming,
seeing so-last-year,
solidity so unnecessary,
I'm liquid
I'm air
covered in dust from toe to hair,
nothing has ever been so nothing,
space never so empty,
these in and out breaths so trivial,
revolving door,
Existence has never seemed so theoretical.

Will you hold me
and sing to me
run your fingers
over my shoulders
and through my hair
will you snuggle into me
breathing softly
telling me about your dreams
will you hold me
while I drift
deeper and deeper
into eternity?

I've been sitting all day
eyes trained on electric screens
I've been dry-eyed all week
the world melts away
I'm in a daze
tapping tapping
the keys
as constant as breathing
but at 4:09am
I pull my eyes away,
they hurt so bad,
though these electric screens
wouldn't seem so bad,
had they not the memory,
of once looking upon you.

coffee

nicotine

routine

coffee

nicotine

routine

coffee

nicotine

routine

the first time I felt human,
was in your arms,
don't let it be the last
I'm reaching
I'm reaching
my arms are weak
they're shaking
they're shaking
don't let it be the last

air smells like vanilla bean
this candle will burn all night
and I'm exactly as distant as I seem
you don't have to raise your voice
I made my choice I made my choice
I hear you loud and clear
every day since I was baby dear
everybody told me
no-body would want me
so hey hey shut your mouth
let me be
I'm stayin pretty in my head
spend the last of my life in my bed
hey hey leave be me
nobody's gonna come lookin' for me
dreamin' forever in white heaven sheets
dream me likes to gamble
play for keeps
sell all my possessions
so I can keep my obsessions
don't you raise your voice
I made my choice I made my choice
just let me sleep
let me dream
give it time
give it time
I'm sure I'll rest in peace