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a text to solitude-
    I send- over an  internet  un-wired
for a life I no longer
    can survive,

But survival is hard-wired
   within, it is why
my hands need to stay busy
   being

creating a floor or rebuild a vanity,
   make one real dollar.
peace, from what I truly need
   like human touch.

It follows, that I like
   the muscles I build doing real things,
between my ears seem to be
fulfilled
   when i create and build

just one dollar in reality.
Him si all
An know.

Him reach out
An hold.
Jah know.

Him mek da rain fall
An quench.
Him mek da snow fall
Wind blow.
Sure as calm follow storm.
Jah see an know.

You walk in sunshine my love.
My only lifeline an so
He made you so fine an so.
Sweet Jah
Wonderfull.
Him see and
Know.
You looked me in the eye and promised
You promised me that one day we'd be okay
You promised you'd be by my side the entire time
Look at me now
You promised that you loved me
You promised things couldn't get any worse
You promised that I had a future
Look at me now
Your promises have shattered me
Your promises cut deeper than any blade
Your promises killed my appetite
Look at me now
Your promises pushed me 1 step
Your promises pushed me 2 steps
Your promises pushed me....
Look at me now
You stare at the box
You stare at the ground
You stare at the stone that marks it me
You see me now
*sigh*
why is the moon the only face I have to kiss me goodnight?
I want you and you and you and I laugh when
I realise that the only living thing I've slept beside is my cat. I
want to see you, all of you [and you], all of your
gruesome angles or unfortunate shades of light, all of your hasty glances
when you look across the pillow, an
insignificant smile gathering at the left of your lips
when you look across the pillow to see,

[my hands trembling from a lack of
holding foreign skin
and you]

when you look across the pillow to see me.
When he talks, I can hear it.
Every syllable, I can hear it.
Every time his tongue whips the back of his upper teeth I hear it.

When his lips are shooting arrows, slicing crimson haze I hear it,
hear the anguished rumble of Venus birthing stellar symphonies,
and when his vocal cords are trembling do I hear this convocation.
As the sun begins to cry, do I hear of merciful heavens.
When fiery lips blast melodies that stun my ears and sear my tongue,
do I hear the distant quell as nebulae shiver crack and burst.

He slaughters constellations with prose.
He ignites the universe with murmurs.
He pulls Andromeda in speech,
every astral breath and screech.
I miss blue eyes that no longer weep

Walk through the house
Because I just can't sleep
I wear your old blue blouse
keeping your presence close

I cry for eyes that no longer weep

©js/2014
Wake up laughing
cackle into the kitchen
9:15 a.m. on Sunday
cop-outs couched in cups of coffee
          Sofa King Redundant
Lock the door but no one's coming
          I'm the LORD OF ALL I SURVEY!

Survey says the pilot's out
sink is full and
blinds are drawn.
It smells like sweat and silence
and a mostly empty fridge.

"Everything the light touches is yours!"
Outstanding power bill
          bank statements
               unreconciled
unwashed clothes
and unsent thank-you notes.
Shrink-wrapped books on how to cope.

Maybe I'll ask for a raise...
They say you write about one of two things:

Either the last day of summer,
when you're sitting at the edge of a cliff with your 3 best friends.
You're talking about the future and realize they're the only ones who had your back.
You watch the sunset and plan to take on the world together.

Or you can write about the day after that,
when you and your friends split up in 4 different ways.
You never speak to them again.
The only thing you have left is a bunch of strangers,
decorated in picture frames.
you listen.

when he tells you
you
are
worthless.

when he tells you
you'll
never
be
anything.

when he tells you
it's
always
your
fault.

when he tells you
you
aren't
good
enough.

you listen.
because im your father, and you have to respect your parents. you're just 16, you don't know anything. you won't succeed, you'll be just like your druggy brother, your other drop out brother. you're just like my bipolar ex fiance, that's the kind of stuff she would pull, you know better. you don't need that medicine, just get over it. you're going to hell for believing in that, you don't know any better, you're just 16. you are so disrespectful to sit there and talk back to me. you're wrong, wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong, im always right, you're only 16, you don't know anything. youll grow out of it, you need to do better, you need to try harder, you'll never amount to anything. you need to stop, you need to listen, you need to think. why are you crying because i raised my voice to get my point across, you weren't listening, you should've known better, you need to hear the truth. you need to get your act together, you're 16. you don't need to say things like that, you don't need to go there, you can tell them you can't go, you're only 16.
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