You said you loved me_
It took me 730 days and two hours
To wake up from your deceit.
What was all this affection you showed me?
You promised to replace my dejection with your attention.
But I forgot to ask: was it friendly or intimate?
The half I planned to spend my life with
Turned into pieces I wish to crush,
Over and over again.
You told me you loved me,
And I repeated it like a mantra.
We shared ideas, dined together;
I was happy, blinded by hope.
I thought you could replace
The love I couldn’t find elsewhere.
Now I wear shades to hide my sore eyes,
To shield myself from the paint you flung at my heart.
I wear a mask to stop inhaling the love you feigned.
I must stop accepting the French kisses
You gave me in public,
When, behind closed doors,
We were just strangers to your truth.
Everyone thought we were one_
Until you shattered the illusion.
We were only “friends” in front of strangers.
Why trade my innocence for your satisfaction?
Should I curse the day our shoulders brushed?
Should I throw acid at the fragrance I gave you?
Why did you lie about the love you gave?
Were you scared I’d reject you?
If you only sought my friendship?
But now, I’m waking up.
I cast my shades and mask into the flames,
Draping myself in a love that heals,
That gives me everything.
This year is an eye-opener for me.
These words I call poetry
Are the first steps to my joy.
Your love will never find a home
In my heart again,
No matter how brightly you try to glow.
Don’t love the idea of me anymore