when I talk to you
it feels like
I'm talking to
a shell
of a person

As I drift throughout fits of consciousness,
My soul flutters about the exposed space,
Surrounding me.
Its wings span out and glide gracefully.
Yet, so easily affected by nearing influences,
It instinctually dips low for a means of protection.

But when fear takes charge of its path,
Positives go undiscovered.
Perhaps fear debilitates reaping the potential warmth,
Another is radiating.
Maybe the individual’s soul is imbedded with good intentions.
Maybe the person’s heart is comprised of purity.

at the end of the day
if all falls through
and i end up
with some distaste
for you
thanks for being kind

the demon in my dream
was friendly
he was much nicer to me
than you ever were

i am drowning in a pitch black sea:
gasping for air,
and swallowing water.
my throat stings,
as i claw at the liquid,
finding nothing to hold onto.

the water reflects the beam,
from a lighthouse.

i scream out:
to the light;
i scream out:
to you.

but it never finds me,
and neither do you.

alone,
cold,
and senseless,
your skin somehow felt warm,
under my fingertips.
euphoria ensued,
but was soon replaced,
with an emptiness.
draining me of life,
i had to get out.

the sea of blood
you left behind
sticks to my memory
and stains the view
I had of you

my house resides
next to a busy road
the sound of traffic
is muffled
by its soundproof windows
and so are my screams

you are not a rose
i would never compare you
to something so fickle
and temporary
you are a piece of
broken handcrafted
glass
misunderstood
dangerous
but beautiful

baby so soft
baby arms
so chub
like a soft chubby pillow
hugged my hands

i wanna claw
my eyes out
then put on
my favorite movie
to be soothed
by the dialogue
as the blood
rains down my face

will i ever stop running?

when will I no longer,
feel the need to escape?

where are you?
are you happy there?
do you wish,
you could run too?

my life is terrifying me.
I often feel,
I have nowhere to go,

and so I run,
hoping to find something.

all the wine
went to my head
you fell back
and went to bed

i tried to yell
to release my hurt
but it was not a yell
rather a wail
blood curdling
sounding like an animal
being murdered
i scared myself

this is not supposed,
to fade this quickly.
I'm not meant,
to sink back,
into misery.
have initial butterflies,
already faded?
has my view of you,
already become jaded?
do you like me,
as you say you do...
or am I just ***,
and a dumb joke to you?

i wanna see your heart:
open it up,
let me take a glimpse.

sheltering your fears,
holding your desires,
nurturing your passions,

i wanna feel,
how deeply you love.

I feel constricted .
My surroundings are unfamiliar;
Fear is consuming me.
Seeking comfort,
I sip a droplet of water.

Suddenly, a foreign hand,
Reaches into my confined space.
Frightened,
I bite a finger belonging,
To the giant, daunting extremity.

Droplets of blood,
Stain the wood chips below me.

The face the hand belongs to,
Has tears running down its cheeks.
I did not realize:
It was trying to caress me.

i have gone down a rabbit hole,
and i see no way out.
I do not see anything:
there is no light.

i wish you were here,
but you are far away.
i guess i will sit here,
with my thoughts,
and stare into darkness.

I refuse to acknowledge,
your vitality.
you do not deserve to exist,
in my reality.

I'm in lust with you.
You have revealed,
Your passion parallels mine.
I refuse to release the string,
That's upholding these fits of,
Physical infatuation.
My bed feels warm.
You are no where near,
But at least i know,
You are thinking of me;
And it warms my bed.

i think your scars are pretty.
i know,
they are meant to reflect pain,
or suffering,
or both.
but i cant stop looking at them,
and seeing how much beauty,
they add to your skin.

an angel
carefully hand-crafted
you.

I wait for a text
I hope for a call
naively

for when have you ever
been prone to
consistency

i am so young
so desperate
for someone to love me

is this why
i can't see
you're pretending
so blatantly?

I pushed you away.
You hurt me first,
I ran.
You hurt me again,
That time worse.
You knocked my legs out,
From under me.
Stop,
You're winning.
You always have been,
Can't you see?

i wonder
if you will ever see
how gorgeous you look
as tears slip down your cheeks

although I know I care too much...
I can't help that I stare too much,
now you are here,
and as I look into blue,
I can truly only see you,
and the color of your eyes.

when I talk to you, it feels like I'm talking to a shell of a person.

i want to know
the sound of your heartbeat
so
send me your favorite song

When will the time come,
When I'll feel content?
The walls built around me,
Seem like cement.
My screams might as well be,
Nonexistent.

If not one heard it;
No one heard the yell,
No one really fell.

Laying down, I look up.
The sky offers no comfort.
I am still as I was,
I still feel alone and hurt.

i could drown
in the love i have for you
and somehow
i wouldn't mind

Neither of us,
Are on this planet.
I believe it is why,
I gravitate toward you.

With thought,
You seem to be,
Burning passionately,
On Mercury.
While I am slowly freezing,
On Neptune.

I need to fly away.
With all this distance,
I still think of you.
Maybe if I take refuge,
In another universe,
I will think of me.

I scream until
my throat hurts
until the shrill noise
scratches my esophagus

I scream until
the pain numbs a bit

I scream until
I cry
tears streaming down my face

I know now,
That I was your home.
I'm sorry I kicked you out.
I'm sorry you're freezing;
I didn't know it was so cold outside.
I swear I didn't know it was pouring.

I don't think I can bear to look at you,
Through this window.
I don't know if you can tell,
But I'm sobbing as I draw the curtains.

i don't regret
what we have done
you opened me up again
but i can choose to close
myself back up

please love her.
lust after her
heart
body
mind
I bet she is very beautiful
I bet she is one of a kind
please love all of her
all that is not mine

how long
must i wait
for this weight
to be lifted
off my chest
my heart and lungs
are being crushed

as i ache
i cannot call out
for help

the moon
barely casted a light on your face
but I'm glad it did

you are pretty,
but that is all.
if your appearance
reflected your heart
it would be hard
for people to look at you,
in your distorted face
but i still would
to tell you
to go **** yourself.

the light flickers,
everything in the room is illuminated,
only momentarily.
I wish I could see where I am,
it is all so unfamiliar.

the light's mischief is unsettling.
how dare it taunt me,
with the promise of sight,
when there is no such fulfillment.