Hello me,

I'm you. I'm the older you after multiple suicide attempts, and lost in a haze of ***** and drugs.  I am also you who sought and searched for some meaning and belonging, only to find hypocrisy and pain.  But all that aside, I wanted to thank you for not giving up on life even though you wanted to.  Finally asking for help when you did, even though a part of you didn't care anymore.  Thank you for letting hope grow in you one day at a time.  Thank you for letting me love you, so I can love me today.  Life is pretty amazing today, and we would have missed out on this beautiful journey because we were so locked in our pain. Now, you and I can share our story of pain and suffering to help someone else.  We don't have to stay in a hopeless state of mind and body.  Thank you for having the courage to surrender and admit you couldn't do it alone anymore.  I love you very much.

Love,

I'm You

You might think that my mind is scattered
In the past I was beaten and battered
I warn you that if you break my heart it might
shatter into a million pieces
If you try to pick them up, be careful or you might get cut

For fifteen years
I've always exchanged the same words
"Goodnight, have a good sleep. I love you"

Tonight was the first night
That broke the fifteen year streak
Of you never going to sleep angry at me

I'm sorry mother
I really am
I'm sorry for you too

I'm sorry your hands are turning old
With random speckles,
And portruding veins

I'm sorry there's wrinkles on your face
And your greys reappear after two weeks
And you're having several pains

I'm sorry you didn't have a childhood
And you don't know how to smile
Not even for a picture

I'm sorry Ma
I'm sorry I'm having a hard time
I'm sorry I rub it off on you

I'm sorry for my laziness
I'm sorry you even had to have me
I'm sorry for my drama

I wish I could give you all you deserve
Cause Ma
I would give you all heaven if I could.