Oh you
My little heartache, should only be two
Meters away from me.
I would have to cross your oceans
And battle under and over nature
And sit right by you
Still
You're only two meters away from me.

Oh God bless you, little heartache, I’m a wreck without you!
I’m alone now, holy chest pain, but a shade.
Can’t you see my lungs collapsing in?
Can’t you see my pebble eyes go dark?

To you,
My little heartache, oh what right have you
To look so beautiful sitting there,
Oh what right have you?
Alive in unassuming grace.
You’re only human yet
you’re more in every single way.

Oh God bless you, little heartache, I’m a wreck without you!
I’m alone now, holy chest pain, I'm ashamed.
Can’t you see my lungs collapsing in?
Can’t you see my pebble eyes go dark?

God by you, little heartache:
I'll fall back to the ground.
Nary a gravestone to mark my words
Never a funeral to forget my flaws.

Oh you were good to me
My only heartbreak
Now go be good to someone else.

the most gentle creature in the world and the most savage
those same lips that whisper sweet nothings, an entire body they ravish
doesn’t pull of when he says goodbye, he sits and waits
watching to ensure she makes it in the door safe
we’re passed the years of pulling out chairs , but he would
and hours later barely find time to make it with her upstairs
excites her
invites her
and of course stimulates
both the intellectual and the ******
in any moment with the gentleman her beating heart palpitates
from lust and wonder
from trust and fear
the gentleman provides security while simultaneously being a teddy bear
a calm roughness he possesses
both jagged and serene
the most gentle savage in the world
neither peace or chaos
like the eye of a hurricane he falls somewhere between

i have studied how men
have ensnared women
and called it love

to those who cannot fathom
a woman beyond womanhood
or a woman  beyond man

she was never yours to understand
she belongs to the deity of her own creation
she belongs to the eve who bit the apple and never apologized

I etched patterns into a tree with a pocket knife that had a red plastic handle
            Indentions such as these never stay
            Yet eternally we press against the world

        Hoping to make a mark that will shine in the daylight and glow in the dark
                    ~

           I'm a shriveled slice of the Americana pie
      With my soul on a swivel and the devil in my eyes

       Life was a son of a ***** with fists that spat dirt when it spoke
                And it ONLY screamed.
        
         ~

   I'm somewhere between *David Duchovny and Stephen King
      And I'm trying to rip up manuscripts that I didn't write and I don't know who did.

      Goodnight America. My patterns will explain my existence more than I ever could.

One day you might not be mine
and I might not be yours.
This love may fade; the sun
drops its welcoming arms below the horizon,
bringing about the inky subsuming darkness.

These pages will not turn for you.
These hands will not curl around your own.
These fingers will not drag themselves along
You
will not lend me your thoughts if only for a minute or two
or a week or a month or a year or five.
You will not be here with me.

But when you swallow that bitter black river,
bought from the same café we first went to,
leaving its airy echo in your mouth
for minutes to come, you’ll have my memory.
And I’ll have yours.

I'm uncomfortable in my own skin
I seek definitions that do not apply
I search for answers lost in echos
My eyes reflect a being I do not know
The mold does not fit the structure
I just hope my foundation last
Every question seems to lessen my worth
Love the differences embrace the battle
This becomes a disheartening journey
Chasing myself in my room
Up the walls thru my window
I look up arms pleading that I find IT
The one answer to it all
That one that sows the different pieces
Making me whole and bearable
I hope to look at myself without disgust
Without fear without caution
I hope to touch my face and love it's meaning

The uncertainty will **** me
Slithering towards me
Surging throughout me
Twisting my insides into a knot
Squeezing and pulsating like a python
Immobilizing me
Swallowing me whole
Fating me to a painfully slow, systematic death

I never really know when it's going to strike
Everything seems perfectly normal
Suddenly I'm grappling with the possibility of being betrayed
Of being unloved
Of being alone

Soon my worries will manifest themselves
A nasty new reality will be the punishment for my anxieties
For it is wrong to burden anyone else with them