Evynne

Evynne Apr 2013

I am a compilation of skin, bones, and sadness
And I go looking for love in all the wrong places
I am really that desperate
And lonely
Looking for anything and anyone that can be disguised as love
If even for a short while
Because I have all of this love to give
And all of this emptiness inside of me
Just waiting to be filled
It thirsts for love
But I have no one to give all of this love to
No one to share all of this love with
So it is smothered with even more loneliness
And even more emptiness
Until sadness is all that I am

Evynne Apr 2013

How To Love Me

Be my safe haven
Heal my burns and cuts from past lovers and then kiss all the scars
Hold me town and hold me tight
Don't allow me to wander away from you
Show me that your love won't turn into more burns and cuts and scars
Show me that I am capable of being loved
Be the first person to never abandon me for people love to leave me for reasons I will never understand
Show me that I am worth loving
I promise you won't regret it
I will love you intensely and fully, with my whole heart, my entire body, my complete soul
I will treat you like you are the only thing I've ever wanted, ever needed
****** my mind and you can have my body
Surrender yourself to me

Evynne Apr 2013

Suicide Note Disguised as a Poem

I want to be higher than the clouds, lost in a dream of white haze
For days and days and day and days
Take me to the city in the sky
And I'll never come down, I won't even try
Escaping has never seemed to fail me
Sure, it's caused some problems, but only due to instability
I'm buying a ticket for the next train out of here
I am done constantly living in fear
A place to get lost, a place to be free
A place in the clouds, a place just for me
I am leaving now, I am leaving
Please, no one try and stop me
Goodbye, goodbye, I say to you, goodbye
You might never see me again, I won’t deny
But for now, goodbye

Evynne Apr 2013

Framed in Wood

The idea of a clean slate
So new and smooth
With it's ****** appearance
So innocent and wistful
Covetous
Longing to be written on
To be destroyed, broken
Ruined

Is there such a thing
As a clean slate?
Is starting over
New and clean
A real thing?

There are multiple slates
that have resided within me
Multiple slates,
Both new and old,
Pristine and ugly,
Untouched and scathed

A slate for love
For that one special person
Perhaps it will take many people
Many slates written on
And ruined
Many slates wiped clean
Before I meet the person
Who will not destroy my slate
Or cause me to wipe it clean
But rather illuminate it
And make it so beautiful that
It will never be touched by anyone
Ever again

But until that time comes
I can only hope
That I will be able to find them
Because once I do
I will hand them a single piece of chalk
But I will not force them to write on it
For I have learned it best
To not force anything onto that slate
It is not my place to do so
The slate belongs to me
That is for certain
But all that is put on it
All that is drawn
And written on its surface
Belongs to that one person

If it is meant to be
It will be
It will meander its way
Both humbly and patiently
On its own time
On its own endeavors
Until a masterpiece is sketched
Both beautifully and with much ease
And before I know it
I will be full and whole
Once more

Evynne Apr 2013

The Other Day

Wandering aimlessly, my brain overflows but my lips don't speak
My mouth is locked shut, it is quiet, unable to utter any form of spoken word or phrase
My mind is blaring and thunderous as thought after thought bounces one after the other, touching and guiding each other gracefully, repeating the cycle over and over and over

My eyes constantly take in everything that surrounds me
The tall and looming trees who have not been given the chance to grow back their array of leaves
The way the sunlight reaches through the feathery clouds and shines between the spindly branches of the trees and draws strange shapes on the pavement below me
The cars that zoom by holding the unknown bodies and fixed secrets that lie within them

I observe all of the happenings around me, acknowledging the beauty of each and every single thing and person I see as the noises of the outside world are unnoticed and inaudible in comparison to my roaring thoughts and my glassy eyes that capture photographs of things no one chooses to pay attention to
As my perspective has always been unconventional
For I have always seen the world differently

I keep wandering

My bare feet push into the soft earth below me
The soil feels warm as it basks in the quiet rays of the sunlight and cool as it lays in the shade of the towering trees and scattered structures
With each step, I sink deeper and deeper, my feet molding to the earth so flawlessly, with so much ease, that I become one with it
And although I am so small and tiny in comparison, we are still one
Of the same essence, of the same elements
For less is always more
And I could wander and walk and observe like this for days and days and days

But I come upon the perfect spot to lay and do the same
As my hand scribbles frantically across countless sheets of paper
Filling each full, ruining the virginity of their white semblance

Some things ruined become some things beautiful

Evynne Mar 2013

Our First Kiss

Standing in the middle of the street, the sky black and starless, it is late, but the night is filled with possibility as drizzling raindrops reach down to kiss our cheeks and noses and eyelids

I see nothing but you

My eyes locked tightly to yours, everything around us is still and quiet as more rain trickles down and a gentle breeze swifts through the air
We don't pay regard to any of it because the only thing that matters is the fixed gaze our eyes hold as our arms are fastened tightly around each other
We cannot look away, captivated by the other's presence

We are completely immersed in the moment when you finally open your mouth to whisper something softly to me

We both lean forward, letting the splendor of the moment take control, pulling us closer and closer to each other until our lips touch for the first time, forming perfectly to each other, molding feelings into the movements of our mouths locked tightly together
A voice cries out inside of me, aching with desire and composure, saying, "Never let go, hold me tight''

We pull away in a modest state of shock due to the enchantment of the anticipated and formal rendezvous of the two compelling and winsome pairs of our lips
Our eyes are once again riveted to each other, and twinkling grins have effortlessly manifested across both of our spry and inviting faces

I can feel the exuberance and elation of the moment beaming between us as your hands reach up to gently grasp each side of my face and your thumbs softly caress each of my cheeks
I could swim in the looming sensation and passion for eternity

Our lips meet again, my insides fluttering, slowly igniting with a feeling no words can describe, a feeling I yearn to seal into a jar for safe keeping and hold next to my warm and beating heart forever
It all feels intrinsic, natural, as if we have been doing it for ages
And I feel whole and beautiful, hoping we never have to let go

Kissing you is an easy thing, it feels comfortable, undemanding
It feels safe, making it seem we are one entity
Like we are two bodies with two hands and two pairs of lips but one soul and one heart
And I cannot help but wonder if this is the person I have been longing for and anticipating my entire life, dreaming of and wondering if we would ever meet

I cannot force myself to break your gaze or my body to move away from yours, feeling whole and beautiful once more

Our lips touch for the last time and then pull away timidly,
Longing for each other
Hoping to meet again

Evynne Mar 2013

A Favor I Ask of You

Remember me as the tumbling and effervescent waves that creep up and steal sandy pieces from the still and sparking shoreline

Remember me as the late night conversations that consist of words and phrases beaming with honesty, words and phrases that are only spoken quietly, guided by the moonlight

Remember me as the first rays of the quiet sunlight that beckon the early morning as it slowly approaches with the retreat of the mysterious and looming night sky

Remember me as the soothing sound of the blowing wind that caresses the branches of the trees and their leaves while twirling softly through every piece of your golden hair

Remember me as the first rainfall of the summer and the igniting and awakening scent it gracefully sends through the tunnels of your airways and warm veins, slowly lighting your insides on fire

Remember me as every beautiful thought, every beautiful word, every beautiful sound, every beautiful sight, every beautiful experience

Remember me as burning passion and desire

Remember me